Dr. James Whitfield

hope

Gratitude

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I’ve thought a lot this week about how fortunate I am to be here. At this stage of life I find myself reflecting more and more on the graces I’ve been afforded, and just how much of a miracle it is that I’m even here to write these words. I’m filled with gratitude.

Upbringing

I grew up in Midland, Texas. No stranger to tumbleweeds, dust storms, and tornado warnings that never seemed to materialize. I was also no stranger to all the nefarious elements that come with being a pivotal point along a main thoroughfare for illicit drugs heading to the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. It was a wildly chaotic childhood and hard to imagine when, where, or how life could be better.

Movin’ on Up

When I was heading into middle school I learned my family was moving to another house, two streets over. The house we lived in was crumbling, we were behind on our rent, and it was just past time for us to leave. This place held pain, toxicity, and nightmares. My mother told me we were moving from this house at the “T” of Comanche and Eisenhower to “a house on the corner on Kiowa Drive.” I was excited to hear of this new place. 

Armed with this notice, I rode my bike over to Kiowa. I knew there weren’t many neighborhood kids over there – most all of us were strewn up and down Comanche – and I had to see what was going on over there. I remember seeing a house on the corner – an off white, brick house with a couple of nice trees in the front yard. “We hit the jackpot, I thought” If this house looks anything on the inside like it does on the outside, we’re movin’ on up! 

I quickly rode home, threw my bike down in the yard, and hurried inside to ask my mom “mom, you said ‘house on the’ corner, right?”

“Yes”, she plainly responded. 

I shouted “YES” and gave my mom a great big hug. She reciprocated but I could tell she was a bit thrown off by my excitement over this new place. Upon the move, I would understand why.

The Move

As we rounded the corner of Eisenhower onto Kiowa drive, I looked out in the distance to that house on the corner on the south side of the street. I was locked in. As we got closer I could feel it. I tried to envision the layout and how it would feel as I walked in. My imagination didn’t get to run wild for long, as the truck came to a stop on the north side of the street, just the other side of a large pasture. I looked out the window to the house we’d pulled up to. A salmon colored, frame house that looked to be on its last leg thinking “what’s this?”

The truck was thrust into park and everyone got out. I thought ‘ok, maybe we’re just parking here but we’re really taking stuff over there (to the white brick house). Nope, that would not be the case. This place, with a dirt front yard, seemingly one step from being condemned, would be the house we called home for the entirety of the rest of my life in Midland, TX.

A Heartbreaking Revelation

I’ll spare you the details of what that house held as surprises when we got inside. There’s far too much to describe here. I was devastated. For the better part of the last week, with pride, I’d shown my friends the house I thought I’d be moving to. It wasn’t so much a “brag” as it was “can you believe this?” type deal. I was excited to finally not be embarrassed to have friends over to my house. And they were so excited for me. And all of that was crushed as I entered my new house and saw what awaited. 

I found out later that we’d been evicted from the other house and this was the best we could find that would allow us to remain in the area, where I wouldn’t have to change schools. 

Two Houses, Two Worlds

I never stepped foot in the white brick house, but I can still envision the thoughts I had as we turned up that road towards it. As I look back on it, the house wasn’t anything super-special. But from my limited understanding of what could be, that place was a mansion. 

I have a blueprint of that old salmon colored house, with all the chaos it embodied, imprinted in my brain. That place represented so much of what I never wish for anyone to endure at any point in their life. 

I’ve never forgotten either of those houses. Those two places, a stones throw apart, represented an interesting dichotomy of life for me at an early age. It was so wild to have something I deeply desired squarely within view, but completely unable to attain. Within reach, but so far away. 

I knew how I didn’t want to live. And what I hoped for in the future, despite not having a clue as to how I’d make that dream a reality. 

Beyond the Brick and Mortar: A Journey of Hope, Guidance, and Gratitude

Yes, I’m in that brick home now. But it’s really about something much deeper than the material building that was so important to me as a child. It was the hope of something different, more hopeful and brighter, that the house symbolized for me. Along my journey, I’ve been blessed to have so many amazing people, guiding me towards a more hopeful, brighter place in life. 

From several coaches and teachers, to the random kindness of strangers, to colleagues, students, and families, to my loving family – I consider myself so fortunate. While the road has been marred with plenty of pain, chaos, and trauma, there’s also been moments of joy, clarity, and comfort. I think, to varying degrees, that’s the case for most of us. 

We’re all faced with disappointment, discontent, and hopelessness at some point along the plot line of our lives. And then, somewhere along the way, we’re given a glimpse of hope. A glimpse of what could be, and a sense of purpose, pushing us forward. 

I encourage you to continue to look for that hope and purpose in the midst of your trials. It may not be the brick house on the corner you thought was yours. You may be stuck in the chaos and pain of the moment. It seems unending and out of control. But never let your current circumstances limit your future possibilities. Trust that this season is preparing you for something greater than you ever imagined.

Weekly With Whitfield – Faith

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Life will always present challenges. Without fail, difficult days are sure to come as we navigate our lives. They come in many forms – from losing a job to facing a serious illness to coping with the death of a loved one, life can seem overwhelming at times. When faced with challenges, it’s easy to feel lost, alone, and afraid. This is where faith kicks in. But, let’s not pretend that faith is some magical potion. Sometimes, it’s hard to find.

Why Faith Escapes Us, At Times

While faith isn’t necessarily magical, it is a powerful thing. Standing in faith gives us hope, strength, and peace in the midst of our struggles. But, at times, faith can seem out of reach for many reasons:

  • Life can be hard. We can become overwhelmed by the moment and lose faith. We question why God would allow us to suffer in such a way. This allows our mind to play tricks on us, making us feel like we are all alone. Then, as we give in to isolation, faith diminishes and despair sets in.
  • We live in a world that is full of confusion and doubt. Whether it’s the news, social media, or even some of our own friends and family, we are often bombarded with messages of doubt. Over time, this toxicity and pessimism can make it hard to have faith in anything.
  • Many of us may have had bad experiences with religion. As I watch the Christian faith become more and more hijacked and weaponized, I’m reminded of so many friends who want nothing to do with religion. Many of them have been hurt by people who claim to be religious. It saddens me to see my faith used as a tool of exclusion, bigotry, and hate. 

A Disclaimer

I’ll start by saying this – I’m a Christian, and I find my strength in Jesus Christ and the promises made in the Bible. I understand that not everyone reading this may be Christian, and that’s ok. It still remains my hope that you are able to use these words, in some way, as you navigate your faith journey. 

Through The Fire

The Bible is full of examples of how faith brings forth the power to overcome. But one that always stands out to me is that of brother Job. He was a righteous man who devoted his life to the service of god. Job held great wealth and had a large family. But one day, his life got flipped upside down.

Satan proposed a challenge to God, saying that Job would only serve Him because he was living a good life. Surely, if Job saw days of strife he’d turn his back on God. But God knew better. So he accepted the challenge and allowed Satan to test Job’s faith by causing him to suffer.

Throughout his trials, our dear brother Job lost everything: his livestock, his servants, his children, and even his health. He was covered in boils and was so sick that he could barely move.

Seeing Job suffering, his friend’s came to visit him – something was terribly off. But instead of extending comfort and grace, many accused him of sinning. Surely Job must have done something wrong to deserve such pain and suffering.

This left Job angry and confused. He could not reconcile or understand why God was allowing such grim days. But through his anger, Job never gave up his faith in God.

Faith Carries

Job’s faith was tested to the limit, but it never broke. He knew that, ultimately, God was still in control, even though he couldn’t answer the question of “why?”. 

His extreme faith offered hope in the midst of despair. That faith gave him the fortitude to press on, even when things seemed at their worst. And, armed with that strong faith, Job had the peace of mind needed to know that everything was gonna be alright in the end. 

Ultimately, God restored Job’s fortunes. He gave him back everything he had lost…and more. And Job went on to live a long and prosperous life.

Job’s story is a reminder that faith can carry us through even the most difficult challenges. When we face suffering, it is easy to lose our way – but we must never forget to face those challenges with an unrelenting faith.

Reflections 

As I think back on life, I’m reminded of so many times where I definitely didn’t understand the struggle I was faced with. Throughout my journey, I faced numerous challenges, starting with trying to break free from an impoverished environment. Then, tragically, losing my mother to leukemia at the age of 19. And, if all those lumps were not enough, the path to enter the education profession was arduous, but I persevered. Then, as I rose in my career, I encountered opposition from individuals with questionable motives, putting my faith to the test repeatedly.

But, through it all, I found solace in the promise of God’s word and provision. While it may have been hard to see in some of those moments, I always knew there was something greater on the other side of the challenges I faced.

Saying Goodbye

This week we faced another great test of faith as we laid one of our dear friends to rest. When something as tragic as this happens we’re left with all sorts of questions and even feelings of anger. As we try to wrap our minds around the senselessness of it all it can become all-consuming. 

But, in the end, I choose to turn to faith. Knowing that our dear friend is at rest in the arms of our Heavenly Father and will see no more pain. I have faith that, one precious day, we will be united with her, and so many of our dear loved ones, when we’re called home. And I have faith that, while she may be gone from this earth, her legacy of protection and advocacy for others will live on in the lives of so many. Our faith has carried us through yet another dark and tragic moment in our lives, and will propel us forward in our unique purpose in the days ahead.

Keep The Faith

If you are facing a challenge in your life, I encourage you to put your faith in God. He is with you, and He will help you to overcome whatever you are facing. Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time in prayer. Refuse to give up. And, remember…this is a team game – you’re not in this alone. I’m rooting for you! Keep the FAITH!

Weekly With Whitfield – Puzzles

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Life keeps us on our toes. One week you write about hope and the next week you encounter something that makes you feel hopeless. Sometimes those feelings change day to day. Sometimes hour to hour. But here’s what you know – this feeling won’t last forever. It’s just part of the process as we pull together the puzzle pieces of our lives.

Doris Sumner – My Ma

My Grandmother, affectionately known as “Ma”, loved puzzles. My little brother and I moved in with my Grandmother shortly after our Mother passed away in 1997. In her home we found hope and consistency. This place held so much love and comfort. The home encapsulated all of whom Ma was. 

We lost Ma in 2021, but I think of her often. Almost daily, I feel slight nudges from her. The nudges come strongest when I find myself feeling down. I can almost sense her soft, frail, hand pushing my chin up, ever so slightly, directing me to look forward.

Her presence prompted the very words that flow here. The past couple years have been chaotic, to say the least. I won’t delve into all the chaos – there’s plenty out there to read. But what I want to share, here, is a note about life and one of the many lessons Mrs. Doris Sumner, my Ma, taught me – likely without even knowing it.

Ma’s Place

Ma lived in a small, brick, three bedroom, two bath home in Itasca, TX. Rarely did anyone enter through the front door. Instead, we entered through the garage door that led through a breezeway, then through her bedroom, to a hallway that would take you to the living room and kitchen that were on the other end of the house. 

I can see every inch of it as clearly today as the last day I entered years ago. I smell the pot roast cooking. And I can still see Ma, sitting at her little card table, pressed against the back of the couch. Instantly, she turns around and says “hey there, kiddo!” with a huge grin on her face. She takes a quick break from her task at-hand – the puzzle spread across the table – to give me the greatest hug.

Ma loved puzzles. Like, huge puzzles with thousands of pieces. She’d sit for hours working on them. And when I found her at that table I didn’t miss an opportunity to join her. We had some deep conversations while working on those puzzles. As I reflect on those moments I realize that all those beautiful puzzles serve as a metaphor for life.

The Complex Puzzle of Life

Life is a massive puzzle. Only, there is no box with a picture of what the outcome should be. As we begin the journey, pieces are scattered about. There is no rhyme, reason, or identified purpose. Random parts, with hopes of coming together.

Corner Pieces

Then, slowly, our foundations form. We sleep through the night – a corner piece in place. We graduate to solid foods – another corner piece locked in. Our first words come dribbling out – boom, third corner piece secured. Before you know it, we graduate from making a mess of ourselves – we’re potty trained – locking in that last, and ever-so-critical, corner piece. Those corner pieces are foundational to launching us into life. 

The Edges

As we venture out into this new world we play with the edges – the boundaries within which the rest of the puzzle must come together. And, while this can be a bit of a challenge, the boundaries tend to make themselves readily evident. These edges serve as our values. Their clean, sharp edges provide guidance, but we’re left to sort the rest out along our way. Who we are, and who we’ll become, is impacted by the edges.

The Center

Now we start to play with the pieces in the center and things get more complex. Like a puzzle, life can be complicated and challenging. Each piece, a different experience, lesson, or opportunity along the way. And how we put these pieces together determines the outcomes.

Puzzles can be frustrating. We struggle to find the right piece that may have slid off the table, hiding under our shoe. Sometimes it appears as though a piece should fit, then when you try to force it in, it doesn’t. We become overwhelmed with the sheer number of pieces strewn across the table – it may appear that several critical ones may be missing. But as we keep after it, the bigger picture slowly comes into focus, and each piece slides into place.

Life can be downright frustrating. Adversity, setbacks, and various obstacles crop up along our journey. Oftentimes, these challenges seem insurmountable at the moment. That feeling that something’s “off” wells up inside of us and we often freeze. Each time we try to get going again we seemingly don’t know where to start. But as we push through, the bigger picture of our lives becomes more clear. Each experience serves as an essential element to make sense of it all.

Team Game

Working those puzzles with Ma was always a team game. And such is life. One of the best parts of puzzles and life is that we don’t have to do them alone. We can always get a fresh set of eyes on an issue when we’re stuck. We just need to ask. A new perspective can help us envision brighter possibilities. And we can work together to create something beautiful.

As you navigate the puzzles of life I hope that you’ll pause every so often to find the joy in the process. While it can be messy and frustrating, when it starts to come together you’ll be amazed at what you are able to see at that point. 

And as quickly as amazement appears, along will come another piece to that puzzle that will likely leave you bewildered. And that’s ok. Remember, you are not alone. Grab a friend or loved one. Sit them at your table. And work together to create something more beautiful than you ever imagined. 

– Dedication – 

Ma, thank you for always having a seat at your puzzle table ready for me. Thank you for pouring into my life in the way that you did. Thank you for helping me piece together some very broken pieces to my life’s puzzle. Those frayed edges serve as valuable lessons. I’m thankful for every one of them. And I have no doubt that the picture of my life at this moment would look very different without your love, support, and guidance along the way. I miss you and love you dearly, my forever puzzle partner.