Dr. James Whitfield

inspiration

Weekly With Whitfield – Puzzles

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Life keeps us on our toes. One week you write about hope and the next week you encounter something that makes you feel hopeless. Sometimes those feelings change day to day. Sometimes hour to hour. But here’s what you know – this feeling won’t last forever. It’s just part of the process as we pull together the puzzle pieces of our lives.

Doris Sumner – My Ma

My Grandmother, affectionately known as “Ma”, loved puzzles. My little brother and I moved in with my Grandmother shortly after our Mother passed away in 1997. In her home we found hope and consistency. This place held so much love and comfort. The home encapsulated all of whom Ma was. 

We lost Ma in 2021, but I think of her often. Almost daily, I feel slight nudges from her. The nudges come strongest when I find myself feeling down. I can almost sense her soft, frail, hand pushing my chin up, ever so slightly, directing me to look forward.

Her presence prompted the very words that flow here. The past couple years have been chaotic, to say the least. I won’t delve into all the chaos – there’s plenty out there to read. But what I want to share, here, is a note about life and one of the many lessons Mrs. Doris Sumner, my Ma, taught me – likely without even knowing it.

Ma’s Place

Ma lived in a small, brick, three bedroom, two bath home in Itasca, TX. Rarely did anyone enter through the front door. Instead, we entered through the garage door that led through a breezeway, then through her bedroom, to a hallway that would take you to the living room and kitchen that were on the other end of the house. 

I can see every inch of it as clearly today as the last day I entered years ago. I smell the pot roast cooking. And I can still see Ma, sitting at her little card table, pressed against the back of the couch. Instantly, she turns around and says “hey there, kiddo!” with a huge grin on her face. She takes a quick break from her task at-hand – the puzzle spread across the table – to give me the greatest hug.

Ma loved puzzles. Like, huge puzzles with thousands of pieces. She’d sit for hours working on them. And when I found her at that table I didn’t miss an opportunity to join her. We had some deep conversations while working on those puzzles. As I reflect on those moments I realize that all those beautiful puzzles serve as a metaphor for life.

The Complex Puzzle of Life

Life is a massive puzzle. Only, there is no box with a picture of what the outcome should be. As we begin the journey, pieces are scattered about. There is no rhyme, reason, or identified purpose. Random parts, with hopes of coming together.

Corner Pieces

Then, slowly, our foundations form. We sleep through the night – a corner piece in place. We graduate to solid foods – another corner piece locked in. Our first words come dribbling out – boom, third corner piece secured. Before you know it, we graduate from making a mess of ourselves – we’re potty trained – locking in that last, and ever-so-critical, corner piece. Those corner pieces are foundational to launching us into life. 

The Edges

As we venture out into this new world we play with the edges – the boundaries within which the rest of the puzzle must come together. And, while this can be a bit of a challenge, the boundaries tend to make themselves readily evident. These edges serve as our values. Their clean, sharp edges provide guidance, but we’re left to sort the rest out along our way. Who we are, and who we’ll become, is impacted by the edges.

The Center

Now we start to play with the pieces in the center and things get more complex. Like a puzzle, life can be complicated and challenging. Each piece, a different experience, lesson, or opportunity along the way. And how we put these pieces together determines the outcomes.

Puzzles can be frustrating. We struggle to find the right piece that may have slid off the table, hiding under our shoe. Sometimes it appears as though a piece should fit, then when you try to force it in, it doesn’t. We become overwhelmed with the sheer number of pieces strewn across the table – it may appear that several critical ones may be missing. But as we keep after it, the bigger picture slowly comes into focus, and each piece slides into place.

Life can be downright frustrating. Adversity, setbacks, and various obstacles crop up along our journey. Oftentimes, these challenges seem insurmountable at the moment. That feeling that something’s “off” wells up inside of us and we often freeze. Each time we try to get going again we seemingly don’t know where to start. But as we push through, the bigger picture of our lives becomes more clear. Each experience serves as an essential element to make sense of it all.

Team Game

Working those puzzles with Ma was always a team game. And such is life. One of the best parts of puzzles and life is that we don’t have to do them alone. We can always get a fresh set of eyes on an issue when we’re stuck. We just need to ask. A new perspective can help us envision brighter possibilities. And we can work together to create something beautiful.

As you navigate the puzzles of life I hope that you’ll pause every so often to find the joy in the process. While it can be messy and frustrating, when it starts to come together you’ll be amazed at what you are able to see at that point. 

And as quickly as amazement appears, along will come another piece to that puzzle that will likely leave you bewildered. And that’s ok. Remember, you are not alone. Grab a friend or loved one. Sit them at your table. And work together to create something more beautiful than you ever imagined. 

– Dedication – 

Ma, thank you for always having a seat at your puzzle table ready for me. Thank you for pouring into my life in the way that you did. Thank you for helping me piece together some very broken pieces to my life’s puzzle. Those frayed edges serve as valuable lessons. I’m thankful for every one of them. And I have no doubt that the picture of my life at this moment would look very different without your love, support, and guidance along the way. I miss you and love you dearly, my forever puzzle partner.

Weekly With Whitfield – Hope

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I find myself enthralled in wonder more these days. Since starting this weekly reflective blog in January it’s sparked a deeper sense of wonder. I’ve found myself more dialed-in on things that would typically be the most miniscule. I’ve learned and grown along this introspective journey. 

This is week 11 of 52 of 2023. If this is your first visit to the blog, I’m glad you’re here. I encourage you to scroll back through the weeks that came before to see what’s been going on. It’s been quite an adventure. If I’m honest, there have been weeks where I’ve found it quite difficult to nail down a particular word that’s different or more unique than the one before. But here we are. Thanks for following along. Your feedback, reflections, and support mean more than you’ll ever know.

Now, to the word that resonated most with me this week – HOPE

Disappointment

Dang, James, I thought we were talking about HOPE, then you throw out “DISAPPOINTMENT”?

I hear you. Roll with me…

Over the last couple years my thoughts have been all over the place with regard to what a future in the education space would look like. While I haven’t been able to work for another Texas public school district (until August 16, 2023 under current settlement agreement) I’ve been approached for several roles with a number of education adjacent non-profits.

Without fail, when it comes time to sign on the dotted line it’s been the same old song:

“Let’s just wait til things cool down, politically.”

“We’d love to bring you on right now, but we’re afraid of the political consequences.”

“Actually, we’ve thought about it and you’re way overqualified for this role. You’d get bored with this.” 

“We can bring you on…you just need to (insert statement of sacrificing my authentic self and who I’ve been as an educational leader over the last decade).”

There have even been organizations who’ve gone out of their way to say they’d create a role just to bring me on board. But when it came down to it – radio silence. Message received.

This, coupled with the mounting legal expense of ongoing litigation has been a downright exhaustive process. I’ve had moments of anger, disgust, angst, depression, and frustration. There have been days where I did not want to get out of bed. There have been days where I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone outside of my home. No response to any calls or texts. Just alone with my thoughts and my keyboard. Writing has been such a very therapeutic tool during this time.

This hasn’t been the first moment of despair throughout the course of my life – and I know it won’t be the last. Actually, I feel like my journey to this point has been somewhat of a training ground for when these moments arise. My mother always told me “son, no matter how bad things seem, they could always be worse. Similarly, no matter how good things seem to be going, they can change in a heartbeat. Don’t allow yourself to get too high or too low based on life’s circumstances. Be present in the moment. Live!” These words have been etched in my heart and carried me through the fire.

While I can’t openly share yet what I’ll be up to in August, I’m pretty excited! Believe me, when I can share, I will. For now, I’ll just say that what I learned early this week gave me a great sense of hope! There is light at the end of the tunnel! In due time I will be back to living out my purpose of partnering with educators and families to create excellent, dynamic, nurturing, and equitable learning environments for youth. 

Disappointment has been a steady resident in my mind. It takes up space in my soul. I felt it’s sharp sting. But through it I’ve learned so much. Though it has been challenging, I refuse to discount its place in my growth. Through the lessons learned in the most disappointing of situations I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by true friends and an amazing family. They helped me reframe these disappointments and point me towards hope for a brighter future.

The Playground

Under a bright blue sky kids bounced across the landscape. If you haven’t been to Grand Prairie’s PlayGrand Adventures, I’d highly recommend it. It’s phenomenal and very intentionally built to be inclusive of all children. Kids and families everywhere, as far as the eyes could see. There is so much for us to learn from kids at play.

My 10 year old, Landon, is a live wire when it comes to playgrounds. The dude is everywhere – jumpin’, runnin’, climbin’ things he probably shouldn’t be climbin’, swingin’, and slidin’. He gets it honest. I still have a hard time not partaking in the fun of a playground that I’m far too big for, so I just followed him around the park and observed.

Various structures with a wide degree of complexity lay intentionally placed across the area. And there was a beautiful display of diversity around the park. This space serves as a microcosm of our society. A great sense of hope welled up inside as I watched children from different backgrounds, cultures, and experiences come together and, despite their differences, find common ground in play. They work together, communicate, and respect each other’s differences. Lessons that we, as adults, can learn from to create a world where everyone is included and valued.

I find hope in the empathy on display. On this playground, I watched children recognize and respond to the emotions of their playmates. They helped each other up when one fell down. They looked out for the person below them, so as to not crush the hands of those below them. And, as the swings were limited to only a handful, no one sat and bogarted the swings. They acknowledged that others were waiting and made their way to the next thing so someone else could feel the wind rush against their face. 

As adults, we should cultivate this same empathy to create a more compassionate world. We need to listen to each other, seek to understand each other’s experiences, and work to create a world where everyone can thrive. We tend to do these things when crises arise, but what if we did it each day as we co-exist on the playgrounds of life?

No one was concerned about the nature of each other’s politics. There was no swing-side discussion on where one went to church, or if they attended church at all. No boundary lines were drawn with regard to who could play on this structure or that – or who was not allowed to play at all. They just found common humanity in playing.

These kids were not all carbon copies, cut from the same social strata, gender, race, or any other factor, but they found a way to make it work – to co-exist for a wonderful shared experience. Their free, loving, compassionate spirits gave me hope for brighter tomorrows. I hope they never forget those playground experiences. And I hope we, as the adults in their lives, can find a way to tap back into the times that we were those kids who found ways to co-exist without all being the same. 

Hope as a Tool

Hope is a powerful force. It has the capacity to help us navigate life’s ups and downs. It provides optimism in the face of great challenges. Hope pushes us forward when we feel like giving in. But hope, alone, is not a strategy for overcoming obstacles. Hope cannot be a passive state. It is critical that we take action and have a plan for what we hope to achieve and become.

Through it all, a sense of hope has existed deep down in my soul. With every shaky excuse given by an organization as to why they couldn’t move forward. Every time I was ghosted by an organization I thought was an ally. Each thought of the tens of thousands of dollars in mounting legal fees. I remained hopeful that the right organization would come along and that God would provide as it relates to covering legal financial obligations. And I remained focused on the actions I must take to move forward.

While much remains to be seen as it relates to how litigation and the next step in my career will play out, I’m hopeful. As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” Hope allows us to persevere in the face of adversity and remain steadfast in our pursuit of our dreams.

As you set out on the days ahead I pray you will hold fast to hope. Remember that it’s not just an emotion, but a force that can transform fear into courage, doubt into faith, and despair into optimism. It is the bridge that connects the present with the future, reminding us that tomorrow can be brighter than today. Embrace hope’s place in your life as a tool to unlock doors to new opportunities, new beginnings, and a new life. I have high hopes for you!

Weekly With Whitfield – Love

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There’s no way I could let the week of Valentine’s Day pass and not reflect on love. Believe me, I tried. I didn’t want to be cliche’. But love, as it so often does, captured the essence of the week. That said, Valentine’s Day has generally just been another day for me. Sure, it’s cool to do all the little extra things – the chocolates, flowers, sweet cards, and the likes – but I think most of us know that love can’t be confined to one day or material things. It surrounds us every day.

Love is a beautiful, dynamic force.

Dynamic Love

Speaking of a beautiful, dynamic force, this week we returned from the gorgeous shores of Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, where we were able to celebrate my stunning wife, Kerrie, and her twin sister. We had an amazing time strolling the lush, tropical, expansive spaces of our resort and the magnificent beaches. Along those paths I’d find myself gazing intently at this woman by my side – the love of my life. She is absolutely captivating.

To be loved by such a person is indescribable. Her love is so pure and deep. It wraps me in hope in moments of despair. And brings me unlimited moments of smile-til-your-face-hurts joy. Her love is all encompassing. I love the way it feels to be loved by her. I love her so much. 

On many occasions during our trip we discussed our upcoming milestone anniversary. This year marks 20 years that we’ve been together – 19 married. And in August of 2024 we will be married for 20 years. We chuckled as we reminisced about how much we’ve grown over the course of all those years. Love did that.

We were just two kids in our early 20’s, trying to find our way. I’ll never forget the moment I met her. It was absolutely love at first sight. She has continued to mesmerize me ever since. I am so fortunate to get to share my life with such a beautiful soul. The way she loves is the inspiration for today’s message. 

Love is such a powerful force. To be loved, and to share love, is one of the greatest gifts we can give. It serves, heals, inspires, connects, and transforms. While my example is that of the love of my wife, we know that love has the ability to take on many forms, whether that be romantic, familial, or the love between friends. Regardless of the form, the power of love is undeniable. 

Service

Love leads us to serve. When we feel loved we are more inclined to serve. Service is one of the greatest, most pure, expressions of love. Love calls us to operate with a heart of service to those we encounter throughout our days. 

And it’s reciprocal. Some days you will be the one with the energy and ability to be of service to someone in your space. Then, there will be days when it feels like you have nothing left to give, and someone comes through for you. Love nudges us to be of service to others, without an expectation of anything in return.

Healing

Love heals. When we feel loved, we experience a sense of safety and belonging that allows us to heal from emotional pain and trauma. And if we’re real about it, much of that emotional pain and trauma manifested because of our love for those who inflicted it. I won’t deny that. Love can, most definitely hurt.

But love’s healing powers are strong enough to help us overcome the hurt. Love stands ready to help us defeat feelings of isolation, anxiety, and depression. It wraps us up in comfort as we face the challenges that life may throw our way.

Inspiration

Love inspires. In love, we feel inspired to be our best selves. It pushes us to take risks and wildly pursue our dreams. The love of those around us sparks inspiration for things to come. 

It helps us see beyond our immediate circumstances and on to what may lay ahead for us. And armed with that inspiration, we tend to be  more generous and compassionate towards others. We pay it forward, sparking inspiration in the lives we touch on a daily basis. 

Connection

Love connects. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, besides food, water, and safety, belonging and love stand as two of the most powerful needs we must fulfill. Human connection is paramount to our overall well being. When we experience love, we form deep, meaningful connections with those around us. 

Love allows us to see beyond the differences that seek to divide us and pushes us to connect with each other on a deeper level. This connective power of love can bring people together in a way that nothing else can. All too often it takes tragedy for us to embrace how connected we really are in this experiment called life. We must allow the connective tissue of love to weave its way into our relationships with our families, friends, communities, and the world at large. 

Transformation

Love transforms. The transformative nature of love shifts the way we see ourselves and the world around us. Love contains the essential ingredients to transform our communities, helping us create a more loving, just, and compassionate world. 

When we allow ourselves to embrace love over the alternative, we are able to see past societal-imposed differences. We become transformers – more than meets the eye. Powerful, transformative figures, ready to combat evil and injustice to create a better, brighter world. 

The Power of Love

Love serves, heals, inspires, connects, and transforms. It’s foundational to our relationships with others. And critical to our personal and collective well-being. In a world that can, oftentimes, feel grim and unforgiving, love shines through, lighting our path to brighter days. We simply must continue to reach for it.

Every chance you get, spread love. Especially on the days that may feel darkest. It can be as simple as a phone call or a text expressing how much a loved one means to you. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Chances are, a simple, heartfelt message of love will mean more than any material thing. Sending love and light to you all in the days ahead. Go out and BE LOVE.