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mental health

Weekly With Whitfield – Paris

September 15, 2023 by drwhitfield Leave a Comment

I’ll be real with y’all – I’ve never understood people’s obsession with their pets. I had two puppies over the course of my crazy childhood. And, much like a tragic plot twist of a play, they’re were ripped from me before I ever really got a chance to feel the power of their presence.

Losing them just brought on more hurt. And I had enough of that, already. So, from an early age, I threw in the towel on pet ownership.
Then I met Kerrie back in 2003.

I know what you’re saying…“wait, Kerrie’s you’re wife, not a pet”…hang in there with me, y’all!
In her I knew I had found someone who I could spend my life with. The feeling was instantaneous. But there was one very big issue. I was very allergic to cats. And she had two of them. You’ve gotta be kidding me, I thought!

Whether it was just placebo or the fact that Kerrie didn’t play around with having cat dander everywhere, something worked. Over time I’d come to embrace Panther and Precious as my fur babies, and loved them so much, but it still wasn’t that particular obsession I’m taking about.

Panther and Precious passed on after two good, long lives spoiled by the best cat mom ever and we would go on to adopt two more, Toby and Tyson, as kittens. Without question, a deep love formed for them both, but not that “talk to em like they a real human” type of love, ya know?

An Unexpected Birthday Surprise

Then, just after Thanksgiving last year, we travelled out to east Texas to celebrate a rad little two year old (love you, Jaggy). It was a cold and rainy day, but all was bright inside as we celebrated his birthday. Towards the end of the party, in walked someone with this little kitten who’d lost her way from the rest of litter. She couldn’t have been more than a week or two old. Enter, Kerrie. Within minutes it was decided (against my vehement denial) that we’d inherited one more kitten.

In a matter of hours, as we traversed the highway back home with this kitten in Kerrie’s lap, something felt different about this pet. But I was still kind of in my feelings about not wanting ANOTHER cat.

Kerrie woke up many times throughout that first night to feed her. The next morning she whispered “honey, we don’t have to keep her if you don’t want. We can find her a good home.” In an instant I responded, “no ma’am. She is home.” I could go on and on about all the adventures with the little girl we affectionately named “Paris” (Paris, TX, ya dig?).

Who Rescued Whom?

But, most importantly, I just want to say to all the obsessive, over-the-top, pet lovers out there – I GET IT, now. You’ll have to check her out over on Instagram (Paris_Kitty_Whitfield), where you can get a glimpse of what the journey with her has been like. She’s brought so much joy to our lives.

Some would say we saved her but, truthfully, she’s the one that did the saving. I can’t imagine life without my girl!

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: catdad, cats, happiness, healing, inspiration, joy, kittens, mental health, pets, Reflection

Weekly With Whitfield – Unscripted

September 9, 2023 by drwhitfield 1 Comment

As the days of 2023 dwindle down, only 16 weeks remain in this calendar year. To those who have faithfully followed my weekly reflections, thank you for being a part of this introspective journey. For those joining for the first time, a warm welcome. Regardless of where you stand, know that your presence is valued, and I’m genuinely delighted that you’re here. My wish is that this year has unfolded just as you’d hoped it would.

The Weekly Reflection Challenge

Writing this weekly blog has brought with it a unique and beautiful challenge. I have always been a deeply reflective person. But I cannot think of a time in my life where I dedicated time at the end of each week to reflect on what that time had presented me. There have been many weeks where I’ve struggled to find a word that truly captured my thoughts and feelings. But, every time, God laid something on my heart to share.

This journey has been an unscripted one. But such is life. I have no earthly idea what I’m going to write about at the beginning of each week. I won’t lie, early on, I tried to force it. But it never fit. The things I felt I needed to talk about or wanted to talk about never seemed to be what I actually wrote about, in the end. And this has made the journey more genuine, authentic, and therapeutic for me.

Unscripted Lessons

Life’s unscripted moments often hold the most profound lessons. While plans have their place, they can sometimes pale in comparison to the grand design that the universe, or in my case, God, has in store for us. We may attempt to force our personal narratives into the script, but more often than not, they fail to fit. Life’s greatest surprises, blessings, and revelations emerge when we relinquish control and embrace the unscripted. 

Reflecting on these past weeks, I am reminded that the most impactful adventures often arise when we surrender the pen that drafts our life’s script. I’ve gazed up in awe at the grace, mercy, and provision that God has bestowed upon me.

An Unforeseen Journey

This past holiday weekend I had the opportunity to visit Seaside, Florida with my family and good friends. This trip was not something we planned, but a generous opportunity was extended by some good friends. Completely unforeseen, all of a sudden, we were loading up the Expedition, headed to the Florida panhandle. 

Though brief in duration, those three days were filled with unforgettable moments, too numerous to recount in this humble blog post. What we lacked in time, we made up for in moments.

Finding Joy Amidst the Challenges

The trip was an absolute blast, not because everything unfolded perfectly – quite the contrary. We encountered our fair share of unexpected challenges, from navigating a busted golf cart in the dark to a tangle with jellyfish, and even a near mishap with a stop sign. Yet, in these seemingly exasperating moments, we found joy in these “you’ve gotta be kidding me” moments that popped up. 

This trip served as a vivid reminder of the beauty inherent in an unscripted life. Had I known about the golf cart’s sudden breakdown on our way to dinner, I might have opted for the car and missed out on the deep belly laughs and crazy commentary that filled that peculiar ride. There’s so much more to share, but some experiences defy adequate description – you truly had to be there. What I can attest to is that, despite the chaos, it was so much fun!

Navigating the Unchartered Waters of Life

As I reflect on the past week and the broader journey of my life, I’m so grateful that I’ve not held the script in my own hands. Many of the trying moments, pains, and frustrations I’ve endured would likely have been edited out in a quest to construct a “perfect” life. In doing so, I might have overlooked the remarkable treasures hidden just beyond the curtain of despair.

I don’t possess all the answers, and I’m content with that uncertainty. My path is one of faith, a willingness to embrace challenges, and an unwavering commitment to celebrating the moments of joy that grace my journey. I will continue to navigate the uncharted territory of this unscripted life, knowing that it is in these unanticipated moments where the true essence of existence thrives. And I hope you will, too.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: adversity, blessings, family, friendship, gratitude, Growth, happiness, healing, inspiration, joy, lessons, life, mental health, motivation, optimism, Reflection, transformation, unscripted

Weekly With Whitfield – I’m Back

August 18, 2023 by drwhitfield 2 Comments

On March 18th, 1995, a 16 year-old basketball junkie, would hear two words that sent him through the roof with excitement.

On October 6th, 1993, his favorite player walked away from the game of basketball in the prime of his career. Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player to ever grace the hardwood – I said it – announced his retirement from the NBA.

That kid was me. My mother and I had just watched his Chicago Bulls secure a three-peat just months earlier and all was well in the world. And I was completely devastated. But while my childhood hero was no longer in the game, my love for the game continued to grow. I was determined, like so many kids of that day, to be “Like Mike” (sorry, not sorry, for that jingle ringing in your head the rest of the day).

Wanna Be a Baller

Over the span of those two years I watched my game grow in ways I’d never imagined. I was putting in work. Everywhere I went, I had a basketball in my hand. If there was a good run going on somewhere, I was there.

I wore out the VHS tapes – Come Fly With Me, Michael Jordan’s Playground, Air Time, Above & Beyond! I’d watch a little bit, press pause, go out in the yard and try to emulate those moves, then come back in and watch some more; then do it all again…for hours.

When I wasn’t watching those tapes I was doing various leaping exercises. I was a small, scrawny runt, but I wanted to fly. I wanted to know the air up there. One of the things I did was alternating one legged jumps, working on my form, scraping my hand against the roof shingles. I was gauging how high based on where the scrape was. I had to get about half way up my arm before I could even consider attempting to dunk a basketball. 

I’d also wear ankle weights everywhere I walked. I remember when I’d take them off to hoop I felt like I was free. I was flying. And, while I was just a mighty 5’7”, pretty quickly those scrapes began to get higher and higher on my arm. And I did a horrible job of hiding them. So much so that one of my school counselors called me in for a well-check to make sure I was ok. When I explained to her how I’d come by those scapes she was a bit perplexed. I just smiled and said “come watch me play basketball. I’ll show you what I’ve been up to.”

It was over the course of this time that a spark was lit inside my soul. I know that, for some, this may sound silly. How on earth does a game have such an impact on one’s life? Well, for me it was much more than a game – it was a way out. And with each passing day I poured everything I had into being the best basketball player I could be.

I was still an average student in the classroom. But I was never one to speak up in class. If I could sit in your class and just get by without saying a word, I was good. My teachers and many of my peers I went to high school with didn’t hear me say too much. I was fairly quiet and a bit shy.

But when I stepped foot on that court it all changed. In an instant I transformed into something different. I like to call it passion. But I will be totally honest, that “passion” got me in plenty of trouble, as I was competitive as hell. I was driven to win and had a desire to completely destroy the person in front of me. By no means did I get the better of everyone that I faced. While I definitely tried, me getting the better of someone is not what I’m getting at here. 

The transformation that took place on that court came from an extreme confidence. Over the course of a couple years I’d gone from a relatively non-athletic, scrawny kid, to a dude that was dunking on guys that were over a foot taller than me. And that confidence and ability to do some pretty athletic things came from hard work, dedication, a desire to change my circumstances, and the devastation that came with Michael Jordan being away from the game.

While he may have stepped away, he never really did in my world, as I had him on repeat every single day. But then, on that day in March of 1995, something hit me differently when I heard wind of those two magical words “I’m Back” – the fax heard round the world. 

Transformation

Over the course of two years my whole world changed. In the midst of the chaos that surrounded me, I found a way to focus on where I wanted to be. I set goals. I was disciplined in my approach – no days off. And I was determined to use that round, orange ball to find a way out.

I never made the NBA, as I dreamed. But I did go on to fulfill a goal of playing collegiate basketball – something I always promised my mother I would do. 

But, as I reflect on those times – all the sweat, pain, soreness, mental and physical exhaustion, fighting poverty…you name it – I see how God was using basketball as a conduit to prepare me for the uncertain seasons of life. It’s why basketball has always been more than a game to me. God used a game to prepare me for the many “I’m Back” moments that would undoubtedly unfold on the other side of the mountain.

I’m Back

It has been a long road over the course of the last two years. I’ve been attacked by folks with nefarious agendas. We’ve received hate mail and death threats. I’ve been told by many folks who I’d held in high esteem that I’d never work in public education again in this area due to the media firestorm that accompanied my trials. Believe me, the book is coming. It has been one heck of a ride.

But I’ve also received support and encouragement from so many, near and far. I’ve connected with wonderful educators and advocates across the country along this journey. I’ve partnered with national organizations who are committed to supporting educators in their work. I’ve had the opportunity to testify before the House Subcommittee on Civil Rights and Civil Liberties with regard to classroom censorship. I’ve spoken to thousands of people in various keynotes, workshops, and panels. I’ve worked with preservice teachers to help prepare them for the climate they’re jumping into.

I reached back to the lessons learned by that young boy. I didn’t wallow in pity of devastation. While I was hurting and definitely had my share of challenging days, the strength of my faith refused to allow the obstacles to block my purpose. I got straight to work. I honed my craft, stayed true to my beliefs, and since Wednesday of this week…I’M BACK!!!

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: adversity, Advocacy, Growth, happiness, healing, inspiration, joy, justice, leadership, lessons, life, mental health, motivation, optimism, Reflection, transformation

Weekly With Whitfield – Faith

August 4, 2023 by drwhitfield 4 Comments

Life will always present challenges. Without fail, difficult days are sure to come as we navigate our lives. They come in many forms – from losing a job to facing a serious illness to coping with the death of a loved one, life can seem overwhelming at times. When faced with challenges, it’s easy to feel lost, alone, and afraid. This is where faith kicks in. But, let’s not pretend that faith is some magical potion. Sometimes, it’s hard to find.

Why Faith Escapes Us, At Times

While faith isn’t necessarily magical, it is a powerful thing. Standing in faith gives us hope, strength, and peace in the midst of our struggles. But, at times, faith can seem out of reach for many reasons:

  • Life can be hard. We can become overwhelmed by the moment and lose faith. We question why God would allow us to suffer in such a way. This allows our mind to play tricks on us, making us feel like we are all alone. Then, as we give in to isolation, faith diminishes and despair sets in.
  • We live in a world that is full of confusion and doubt. Whether it’s the news, social media, or even some of our own friends and family, we are often bombarded with messages of doubt. Over time, this toxicity and pessimism can make it hard to have faith in anything.
  • Many of us may have had bad experiences with religion. As I watch the Christian faith become more and more hijacked and weaponized, I’m reminded of so many friends who want nothing to do with religion. Many of them have been hurt by people who claim to be religious. It saddens me to see my faith used as a tool of exclusion, bigotry, and hate. 

A Disclaimer

I’ll start by saying this – I’m a Christian, and I find my strength in Jesus Christ and the promises made in the Bible. I understand that not everyone reading this may be Christian, and that’s ok. It still remains my hope that you are able to use these words, in some way, as you navigate your faith journey. 

Through The Fire

The Bible is full of examples of how faith brings forth the power to overcome. But one that always stands out to me is that of brother Job. He was a righteous man who devoted his life to the service of god. Job held great wealth and had a large family. But one day, his life got flipped upside down.

Satan proposed a challenge to God, saying that Job would only serve Him because he was living a good life. Surely, if Job saw days of strife he’d turn his back on God. But God knew better. So he accepted the challenge and allowed Satan to test Job’s faith by causing him to suffer.

Throughout his trials, our dear brother Job lost everything: his livestock, his servants, his children, and even his health. He was covered in boils and was so sick that he could barely move.

Seeing Job suffering, his friend’s came to visit him – something was terribly off. But instead of extending comfort and grace, many accused him of sinning. Surely Job must have done something wrong to deserve such pain and suffering.

This left Job angry and confused. He could not reconcile or understand why God was allowing such grim days. But through his anger, Job never gave up his faith in God.

Faith Carries

Job’s faith was tested to the limit, but it never broke. He knew that, ultimately, God was still in control, even though he couldn’t answer the question of “why?”. 

His extreme faith offered hope in the midst of despair. That faith gave him the fortitude to press on, even when things seemed at their worst. And, armed with that strong faith, Job had the peace of mind needed to know that everything was gonna be alright in the end. 

Ultimately, God restored Job’s fortunes. He gave him back everything he had lost…and more. And Job went on to live a long and prosperous life.

Job’s story is a reminder that faith can carry us through even the most difficult challenges. When we face suffering, it is easy to lose our way – but we must never forget to face those challenges with an unrelenting faith.

Reflections 

As I think back on life, I’m reminded of so many times where I definitely didn’t understand the struggle I was faced with. Throughout my journey, I faced numerous challenges, starting with trying to break free from an impoverished environment. Then, tragically, losing my mother to leukemia at the age of 19. And, if all those lumps were not enough, the path to enter the education profession was arduous, but I persevered. Then, as I rose in my career, I encountered opposition from individuals with questionable motives, putting my faith to the test repeatedly.

But, through it all, I found solace in the promise of God’s word and provision. While it may have been hard to see in some of those moments, I always knew there was something greater on the other side of the challenges I faced.

Saying Goodbye

This week we faced another great test of faith as we laid one of our dear friends to rest. When something as tragic as this happens we’re left with all sorts of questions and even feelings of anger. As we try to wrap our minds around the senselessness of it all it can become all-consuming. 

But, in the end, I choose to turn to faith. Knowing that our dear friend is at rest in the arms of our Heavenly Father and will see no more pain. I have faith that, one precious day, we will be united with her, and so many of our dear loved ones, when we’re called home. And I have faith that, while she may be gone from this earth, her legacy of protection and advocacy for others will live on in the lives of so many. Our faith has carried us through yet another dark and tragic moment in our lives, and will propel us forward in our unique purpose in the days ahead.

Keep The Faith

If you are facing a challenge in your life, I encourage you to put your faith in God. He is with you, and He will help you to overcome whatever you are facing. Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time in prayer. Refuse to give up. And, remember…this is a team game – you’re not in this alone. I’m rooting for you! Keep the FAITH!

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: adversity, Bible, blessings, challenges, Christian, death, faith, God, grief, hope, humanity, inspiration, Job, leadership, life, loss, mental health, optimism, overcoming, peace, Reflection, resilience, strength, suffering

Weekly With Whitfield – Devastated

July 14, 2023 by drwhitfield 1 Comment

Most days I try to keep it moving in gratitude. I am so very grateful for the many blessings in my life – my wife, kids, friends, profession, health – amongst a host of other things. But living in gratitude does not make you immune to the ills of society. Our relationship between gratitude and the blows that life deals is, well…let’s just say it’s complicated.

Gratitude Amidst Devastation

So often, when things go awry in our society, someone comes along with the “it could be worse” line. And, while I believe this comes from a good place (most of the time), I can’t help but feel like it diminishes the very real tragedies and struggles folks are going through in real time. 

Yes, it could “always be worse”…but stating such isn’t a meaningful way of dealing with chaos. We can still practice gratitude while being in a state of disappointment, disgust, anger, and/or frustration. But we operate in such a “grind it out” and “push through” society that often urges people towards feeling as we want them to feel (good) rather than the way they may need to feel at the time.

So this week, while I am so grateful for my many blessings, it has also been devastating.

Devastated

Devastation sets in with each passing evening this week. I turn on the news to hear of the latest shooting here in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. 

Shooting. 

Another Shooting.

Another Shooting.

Weather.

Sports.

A horrid pattern that makes one question humanity. Senseless acts that change the trajectory of so many lives.

Paola Nunez Linares, a loving wife, daughter, and step-mom, was shot and killed – taken from her family, in an act of road rage – an innocent passenger.

Kyrie Barnes, a 7 year-old boy, was shot and killed – taken from his mother and family by “celebratory gunfire” while playing video games. 

So many lives upended as 11 people were shot while celebrating the 4th of July at ComoFest. Paul Willis (18), Cynthia Santos (22), and Gabriella Navarrete (18) were all victims of this senseless, vile act. 

Do Not Honk in Texas

I’ve told my wife a million times – I’m not honkin’ at anyone here in Texas. I’m moving over when folks are driving crazy. I’m not engaging with anyone on these streets because there are far too many people running around strapped – not only with firearms, but erratic emotions.

It’s really wild to think you can’t even use your horn here in Texas. We use the horn for a variety of reasons but, most importantly, safety. There was a day, honking your horn at someone could mean a variety of things. 

You could give them the two-honks, which is like “hello”. You could give them the brief honk, which is like “I see ya”, or you could give them the full-on, blaring “I need you to realize you’re about to hit me” honk, and all would be well with the world. At most, you’d be told you’re “numero uno”. But not today. You better not honk at someone out in these Texas streets. Chances are, that person is armed. And, as evidenced by recent incidents – they aren’t in an emotional space to handle it.

To Be Clear

Let me be clear – my intention is not to advocate for the confiscation of all firearms. I firmly believe in responsible gun ownership and respect the rights of individuals who adhere to proper protocols. However, we must reckon with the fact that none of the tragedies mentioned above align with the concept of responsible gun ownership. We find ourselves with a grave, devastating problem. And it concerns me that, with each passing day and news cycle, we seem to be growing increasingly desensitized to it all. 

As we witness these repeated acts of violence and tragedy, it becomes easy to slip into a state of indifference or numbness. This constant exposure to distressing news and images, slowly erodes our sensitivities and emotional response. And this creates a perilous detachment from the magnitude of the predicament we find ourselves in.

When we lose touch with the pain and suffering brought on by these events, we risk losing our sense of humanity. As our ability to empathize and take action diminishes, the cycle of violence continues to ravage our communities. All of this perpetuates a dangerous norm where we accept tragedy as an unavoidable part of our existence, rather than striving to prevent it or even attempt to make things better.

From Fixation to Transformation

Our fascination with firearms is terrifying. But, perhaps, what’s more deeply troubling is our unwillingness and/or inability to engage in meaningful dialogue, especially when the influence of social media algorithms pushes us further apart.

I implore you to open your hearts. May we care enough to strive for justice for these grieving families. Let’s care enough to foster safer communities. Communities where children can enjoy playing video games in their homes without the constant fear of losing their lives. Let’s care enough to take action instead of dismissing these tragedies as mere “misfortune” or claiming that “things could be worse.”

While it is true that circumstances could always be worse, it is essential to work towards the possibility of something better. What if we could foster a culture that values human life above all else, where empathy and understanding guide our interactions? What if we could bridge the gaps that divide us, engaging in meaningful conversations that promote unity and mutual respect? Somewhere, deep down, I believe we hold the power to see past that which divides us and into our commonalities. There is far more we have in common than what we’ve been led to believe for so long. 

Because, yes, while it could definitely “be worse” – my goodness…what if we could make it better?

***Prayers of peace, comfort, strength, and love for each of these families as they navigate the trying days ahead.***

 

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: community, connection, devastated, gratitude, gun violence, humanity, justice, life, mental health, Reflection, resilience, thankful, violence

Weekly With Whitfield – Humanity

July 7, 2023 by drwhitfield Leave a Comment

My wife and I finally got around to watching a show that had been on our list for a long while – Ted Lasso. I know. I know. We’re late to the game. We didn’t jump on the Lasso train early on but, my goodness, am I glad we finally did. Beyond its comedic brilliance, this show imparts valuable life lessons and offers so many powerful takeaways – far too many to list here – but mostly centered on human connection. Here are a few elements that stood out to me about the Lasso Way.

Optimism

Coach Lasso’s unwavering optimism in the face of adversity and conflict is inspiring. Despite relentless setbacks, he maintains a positive outlook. And this isn’t the toxic positivity of just pretending everything is ok or being naive. While optimistic, he often acknowledges the elephant in the room, head-on. Then he pushes forward. We can all take a page out of that playbook. Being optimistic does not necessarily mean that we walk around with rose-colored glasses all day. But it sure doesn’t help to throw them on every now and then and see things in a more positive light.

Empathy

Empathy lies at his core, taking the time to understand and deeply connect with others, showing genuine care and concern. As we embrace empathy it allows us to better understand and support those around us. Empathy derives from listening actively, putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes, and responding with kindness and understanding. When we recognize and validate people’s emotions, we create a safe space for open dialogue. We all need an empathetic ear at some point. Look for opportunities to practice this skill with those around you. In a society that can be so quick to cast shame and judgment, choose empathy.

Kindness

Dude’s a true leader – leading with kindness, mutual respect, and compassion. By treating everyone with dignity and respect (whether they have earned it or deserve it), he fosters a positive environment. Great leaders support and encourage others, they have a servant’s heart, and they are compassionate. Never underestimate the power of small acts of kindness. They can have a profound impact on the people around you. I encourage you to make a conscious effort to perform random acts of kindness each day – whether it be complimenting a stranger, a hand-written note, offering assistance to someone in need, or even a home-made box of biscuits.

Vulnerability 

Coach Lasso shows that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength. He openly shares his own struggles and emotions with those around him, creating a space for others to do the same. When we embrace vulnerability in our own lives by opening up about your fears, insecurities, and challenges, we unlock a code. And, equipped with this code, we are able to foster deeper connections, which allows others the opportunity to provide support and understanding. If you haven’t done so lately, initiate a meaningful conversation with a loved one, friend, or colleague. Refuse to be limited by fears and insecurities. Utilize your secret weapon or vulnerability and, in turn, encourage others to do the same.

Relationships. Relationships. Relationships

The ability to forge genuine human connections is evident throughout the show. Coach Lasso’s approach to building relationships is grounded in trust, empathy, and open communication. Whether it’s forming a bond with a troubled player or forging unlikely friendships, his actions speak to the profound impact of meaningful connections on our well-being and happiness. It encourages us to invest time and effort into cultivating relationships that enrich our lives. People know when you care. And they know when you don’t. The power of human connection can change lives.

Forgiveness over Resentment

Resentment seems to be our default setting in most cases. And that was evident in the lives of so many of the characters of this show. But resentment shackles us to past trauma. Forgiveness is key to our personal growth. Our willingness to forgive doesn’t mean that our pain is not valid. Rather, our ability to forgive acknowledges the reality that exists and our power to refuse to be held hostage by someone else’s demons. We all have someone in our life to forgive. I encourage you to find that someone and work towards that reality, whether you feel they deserve it or not. Refuse the limitations of resentment.

Believe

And there’s so much more…but I don’t want to spoil the show for any who may not have watched it yet. I often wondered what all the hype was about, but after watching it is clear as to why Ted Lasso captured the hearts of viewers worldwide. While funny and witty, it also evokes deep emotional connectivity and asks us to look deep into the best parts of our being. As the world can be a tricky and often messy place to navigate, I have no doubt that this show will provide the breath of fresh air needed, anytime. Keep on Believin’!

***And here’s a beautiful montage that doesn’t spoil too much 🙂

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: believe, compassion, connection, empathy, forgiveness, Growth, happiness, humanity, inspiration, joy, kindness, leadership, learn, lessons, love, mental health, motivation, optimism, Reflection, relationships, Ted Lasso, vulnerability

Weekly With Whitfield – Serendipity

June 16, 2023 by drwhitfield Leave a Comment

The story of my life is filled with many twists and turns – unbelievable highs and devastating lows. But, through it all, God has revealed a power and purpose deeper than I could ever imagine. By no means am I suggesting that it’s been easy. Far from it. The journey has been incredibly challenging. That said, each passing day reminds me just how fortunate I am for every bit of it – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and how it has shaped the husband, father, and community partner I aspire to be.

The last couple years have been quite heavy for our family. We have felt every emotion imaginable, but we have maintained our strength and resolve throughout. We draw that strength in a multitude of ways. But this week I was reminded, on several occasions, of one of those sources of strength that has been sustaining, encouraging, affirming and validating. And that is the many serendipitous encounters with a wide range of individuals. With each passing week I am uplifted by these serendipitous moments – moments that seem to hit right on time even if I didn’t know or feel it.

For Kids

Some of the most powerful moments come directly from the many former students. Without fail, these tend to come in moments where I may be feeling the lowest. It could be a student I had back in my 9th grade World Geography class, a player I coached, or one of the many students I served as a school administrator. With each encounter I am left with a great sense of joy and purpose-filled. Ultimately, they are why I do what I do and to have so many who have been so gracious to say hello, express their gratitude and share about what’s going on in their lives means the world to me. 

The “Dark Side”

As I entered education I was solely focused on being a classroom teacher and a basketball coach. Never, in a million years, did I imagine I’d take this journey into school administration. I remember when I made the decision to jump into school administration, one of my teaching colleagues said “oh no, James. Don’t go to the dark side!” But as time went on, and I continued my education, I began to see huge gaps in what was being asked of teachers and actions of administrators – why this stellar educator would view administration as “the dark side”. In the classroom, teachers are encouraged to engage their students but I saw little to no true engagement from administrators to teachers. Compliance seemed to be held above engagement and I saw the impact that had on many of my colleagues. 

So I committed to do this work as a school leader in a different way – in a way that uplifts, engages, encourages, celebrates, values, trusts, connects, and empowers educators to bring their full and authentic selves to school each day to do the most important work on the planet – educating the hearts and minds of our young people. Along the way I’ve learned from, and grown with, so many phenomenal educators. By no means do I claim to have it all figured out. In this work, as in life, when you think you’ve got it all figured, rest assured, something will come along and humble you. Instead, I continually seek opportunities to reflect, learn, and grow in my leadership journey.

Be Impeccable with Your Word

And, sometimes, that journey of reflection and growth can come with a seedy dose of self-doubt. Our minds are one of the most powerful tools in the universe. In his best-seller, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz discusses being “impeccable with your word”. At its core, this agreement acknowledges the immense creative power of language, acknowledging that our words can either uplift and inspire or inflict wounds and perpetuate suffering. So often, we tend to think about how our words can hurt others. But I want to give a nudge for us to consider how negative self-talk can actually be more harmful than anything we’d ever dare say to another person.

Being impeccable with our word begins within. It calls for self-awareness and a commitment to authenticity. We must find strategies and mechanisms to avoid self-deception or negative self-talk. By using our words and thoughts in a spirit of self-love, we cultivate a positive self-image and strengthen our personal integrity. Believe me, I get it…easier said than done. But that brings me to serendipity.

Serendipitous Encounters: Renewal, Encouragement, and Gratitude

Just as I’ve run into countless former students over the course of my career, I’ve encountered many former educators I’ve served as an administrator. These encounters always leave me feeling renewed, refreshed, and encouraged for our profession. Strangely enough, whether or not I know it heading into these encounters, I leave thinking “that was right on time”. I am so very grateful for the many people out there who take the time from what they’re doing to stop and say “hello”, lend a kind, supportive word, or share some anecdote of how you may have played even a small role in their journey as an educator. It is the ultimate data point for me, as this work is about the people.

Serendipitous Encounters with New Friends and Allies

Over the last couple of years, as my story has played out in local and national media, that circle of educators, parents/guardians, and youth has expanded. With each passing week there’s some sort of serendipitous encounter with someone in one of these groups. From social media messages to emails to chance encounters in public spaces – each interaction stokes my passion and purpose to press on even in the midst of such chaotic and turbulent times. 

One such encounter happened just the other day as our family was out to eat with friends. As I walked to the bar to order a drink for my wife and I, there stood a person ready to greet me with a big smile and an extended hand. As we shook hands they said “Dr. Whitfield, right?” I responded, jokingly, “you got me”, as I lifted my hat to expose my shiny, bald head. After a brief chuckle they went on to share that they’re a principal in a nearby district and just wanted to say hello and let me know how much they support who I am and what I stand for. 

As I thanked them for their kind words they went on to share a bit more background saying, “and I want you to know that my appreciation and admiration goes deeper than all this foolishness that’s been thrown at you and how you’ve handled it with such grace. Actually, I was an assistant principal at a local school when COVID struck. And you were the principal of one of our teachers’ kids. She came in and showed me the videos you were making for the students, staff, and community and I thought ‘that’s some good stuff – I need to follow that dude’, and I have followed your journey ever since.”

They added, “So just know that, for so many, you were, and are, a model for what true leadership should and could look like even before all this came your way.”

Accepting Your Flowers – Appreciation

I’ll just say it – I am terrible at accepting compliments, but have gotten better over the course of time. In full transparency – it was hard to even type the above paragraph because I, in no way, want to self-aggrandize. But my journey has taught me that it’s important to acknowledge and accept these kind sentiments. Doing so shows appreciation to the person who made the effort to share. Additionally, it becomes a powerful tool for being impeccable with my word, allowing myself the opportunity to practice self-love and appreciation.

Gratitude, Purpose, and the Power to Move Forward

This was one of several serendipitous moments that happened over the course of this past week, and each was accepted with deep gratitude. These moments happen to each of us in different ways throughout the course of our busy lives. Sometimes in the form of small whispers. Other times in thunderous applause. Each with the capacity to nudge us along our paths, which can often be mired in the vast complexities of our daily lives. And, while they may not know it right now, I have faith that those reading these words may soon have that moment of serendipity that reinforces their purpose, passion, or simply their will to be. It’s coming. The universe is sending it your way. Listen and/or watch for it. When you hear it and/or see it, embrace it. Then use that serendipitous power to propel you as you move forward. 

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: connection, Education, Educator, Growth, inspiration, Kids, kind, learn, life, love, mental health, motivation, Public Education, Reflection, serendipity, transformation, Youth

Weekly With Whitfield – Counter-Narrative

June 10, 2023 by drwhitfield 2 Comments

As we turn on the news and hear discussions surrounding violent communities, one city often takes center stage: Chicago. And, while Chicago may have its fair share of concerns to address, regurgitation of the “what about crime in Chicago?” trope overshadows the broader context and greatly minimizes the reality of the folks on the ground – those doing the hyper-local work of building communities where everyone can thrive. These narratives often reinforce deeply rooted racial stereotypes that have been with us over the course of time. Today I’d like to offer a counter-narrative for you. 

The Windy City – The Counter-Narrative

When I say “counter-narrative” I’m talking about an alternative perspective or story that may challenge prevailing narratives or beliefs. This provides a different lens through which to view a particular issue, with the aim of challenging stereotypes and potential misconceptions/biases. Counter-narratives can be such a powerful tool.

Chicago has often been stigmatized and reduced to a singular narrative of rampant violence and crime. This narrative, perpetuated by so many, contributes to negative perceptions and misconceptions about the very real communities of the city.

Today I want to offer the counter-narrative, where we acknowledge the multitude of individuals and organizations working tirelessly to address community concerns and create safer communities. There are countless community leaders, activists, social workers, educators, and residents in Chicago who are dedicated to fostering peace, reducing violence, and supporting those affected by it. From youth programming, to providing trauma-informed support, to promoting restorative justice, to advocating for systemic changes – there are dynamic, engaged, and impassioned individuals on the ground leading this community-building work.

This week I had the honor of visiting Chicago for the first time with my Bringing Fellows cohort. Upon arrival we immediately plugged into a full day and a half engaging with numerous non-profits doing deeply impactful work in some of the most disinvested communities in the city. I will do my best to highlight some of those organizations and the work they’re doing here in a bit. But, as a historian, I’d be greatly remiss if I did not delve into the historical context of how the systemic inequalities that exist in the great city of Chicago – a city that has given the world so much – actually came to be.

The Promise and Reality of the Great Migration

MPI/Getty Images

In the early 20th century, the Great Migration brought waves of Black people from the oppressive chains of the South to the promise-laden cities of the North. Prior to this movement, the South had long been the predominant home for African Americans. From the inception of the nation until the turn of the 20th century, the majority of African Americans, at least nine out of ten, resided in the South, primarily in rural areas. However, despite the newfound freedom granted by the 13th Amendment, which abolished slavery, various factors such as farm tenancy arrangements, poverty, high illiteracy rates, and limited opportunities in the North kept Black migration from the South at a very modest level.

From 1910 to 1970, Chicago attracted more than 500,000 of the approximately 7 million African Americans who left the South. One of the key contributors to the movement was The Chicago Defender, a prominent Black newspaper in the city. It played a pivotal role in promoting and facilitating the migration of African Americans to the North. Starting in 1916, the newspaper embarked on an extensive campaign, sharing inspiring stories of Southerners who had achieved success in the city. To assist those considering the move, the paper provided valuable resources such as lists of churches and organizations where potential immigrants could seek help with travel, housing, and employment.

Systemic Inequalities in a Promised Sanctuary

However, beneath the surface of Chicago’s attractive facade, the promise of a sanctuary was overshadowed by the stark reality of systemic inequalities. Civil Rights icon, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., turned his gaze upon the streets of Chicago and was met with a harsh, devastating truth – declaring it to be one of the most segregated places he had ever witnessed, exposing the persistent grip of racial divisions and systemic injustices that plagued African American communities.

Contrary to the hopes and expectations of those who migrated, the North proved to be mostly a continuation of the oppressive structures they sought to escape. Systemic inequalities persisted – discrimination, limited opportunities, and unequal access to resources remained obstacles to the progress and advancement of African Americans.

Structural Barriers and Resilient Prejudice

Getty Images

An insidious prejudice persisted in obstructing progress and maintaining racial divisions within Chicago. Structural barriers were erected to confine African American communities within invisible walls, denying them access to quality housing, educational opportunities, and economic advancement. Redlining, discriminatory lending practices, and predatory housing policies served as highly effective legal tools to perpetuate systemic inequalities and reinforce racial segregation.

Through redlining and discriminatory lending practices systematically denied loans and mortgages to African Americans, depriving them of the opportunity to build wealth and secure stable housing. Predatory housing policies further exploited these communities, perpetuating cycles of poverty and limited mobility. The impact was profound, trapping generations in a cycle of inequality and denying them the chance to fulfill their potential.

Divisions and Neglect: Echoes of Injustice

Segregation’s corrosive effects permeated every corner of Chicago, eroding the city’s unity and corroding its social fabric. Neighborhoods once vibrant with diversity succumbed to the rigid boundaries of racial segregation, breeding inequality and perpetuating deep-rooted disparities. Within this segregated landscape, African American communities bore the brunt of the consequences, enduring the harshest realities of racial injustice.

Education, a pillar of opportunity, access, and empowerment, became a battleground of inequality. Dilapidated schools, deprived of resources and attention, stood as glaring symbols of neglect and systemic discrimination. African American children were denied equal access to quality education, limiting their chances for upward mobility and perpetuating generational cycles of disadvantage. Simultaneously, healthcare services in segregated areas were woefully inadequate, reflecting the callous disregard for the well-being of African American lives. Basic medical facilities were scarce, leaving communities grappling with preventable illnesses and untreated conditions.

Amidst the sea of despair, a familiar, resilient spirit emerged. African American communities in Chicago refused to be defeated. They rallied together, united in their demand for an end to the suffocating grip of segregation and systemic racism. 

Bob Fitch photography archive, © Stanford University Libraries

Organizations like the Chicago Freedom Movement, led by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and countless grassroots activists played a vital role in challenging the status quo. They paved the way for progress, tirelessly advocating for equality, justice, and the dismantling of oppressive structures. Their footsteps marked a path towards a more inclusive and just society, leaving a powerful legacy of local community power and hope.

The Legacy of Power and Hope 

African Americans’ struggle against systemic inequalities in Chicago serves as a testament to the unbreakable spirit of the human will. It reminds us that progress isn’t always rolled out on a linear path, that the journey towards justice is often riddled with countless obstacles. However, it also demonstrates the power of community and the unwavering belief that together, united in purpose, we can dismantle the barriers that hinder progress.

The legacy of the Great Migration and the resilience of those who fought for justice fuel our determination to create a future where equality and justice are not mere dreams, but a lived reality for all. And like those who paved the way during the Great Migration, today, there are so many powerful organizing efforts taking place in these communities. While there are so many doing absolutely phenomenal work in their communities, here are a few we visited during our time in Chicago.

Southwest Organizing Project (SWOP)

In the heart of Chicago’s southwest neighborhoods, the Southwest Organizing Project (SWOP) stands as a champion of community empowerment. They work tirelessly alongside residents, amplifying their voices and fighting for social and economic justice – they understand the power of collective action and partners with the community, rather than playing the role of a savior.

One of SWOP’s primary battles is housing insecurity. They confront gentrification and strive to ensure that every resident has access to safe and affordable homes. By transforming dilapidated buildings into beacons of hope, they enable families to thrive and reclaim their communities.

Education is another area where SWOP has made a significant impact. They stand alongside parents and students, demanding better resources and equitable opportunities. Through their unwavering commitment, they transform schools into empowering environments where the potential of every child is nurtured and futures are reshaped.

SWOP also fights for equitable healthcare access, mobilizing communities to dismantle barriers that hinder essential medical services. Their efforts have chipped away at healthcare inequity, ensuring that all residents, regardless of their zip code or economic status, can receive the care they deserve. The impact of SWOP reaches deep into the fabric of the community, instilling power, unity, and resilience. They inspire collective action and a model that change comes from unwavering determination and belief in the power of the people. 

Imagine Englewood if

In the heart of Englewood, Imagine Englewood If stands as a powerful force for change. As the longest-serving nonprofit in Englewood, it is committed to fostering secure and empowering environments for the youth in the Greater Englewood community. By imparting valuable knowledge on positive communication, promoting a healthy lifestyle, and fostering environmental awareness, IEi plays a vital role in strengthening the bonds within the Greater Englewood community. Through IEi, disinvested spaces are transformed into vibrant centers of growth and community building, adorned with murals that tell stories of strength and unity.

Imagine Englewood If defies limitations and nurtures the creative spirit within young people. Their impact pulses through the community, empowering individuals to rewrite their narratives and shape their neighborhoods. By fostering belonging and purpose, they instill the belief that dreams are valid and contributions are invaluable.

As architects of transformation, Imagine Englewood If builds bridges where others see walls, unlocking the potential within each individual. They paint a vivid picture of a future where empowerment replaces disinvestment, creativity silences violence, and every young person can thrive. Through their unwavering dedication, they pave the way for a brighter tomorrow, where hope guides us towards a world where dreams are realized.

Safer Foundation

Many of us have loved ones or close friends who’ve been incarcerated at some point in their lives. And we have seen the, oftentimes, irremovable obstacles that stand in the way of formerly incarcerated individuals. This is where the Safer Foundation steps in.

They serve as a beacon of hope, advocating for second chances and transformation in a world that can be quick to condemn those with criminal records. At Safer, they recognize the worth of every individual, believing that behind every label and mistake lies someone deserving of redemption and a fresh start. With unwavering dedication, they provide comprehensive services that extend beyond rehabilitation, including employment training, education, and vital support. They’ve even built a full-scale home in an old gym where these individuals can practice their skills in a practical way. There lies an inherent belief in the power of education to break chains of prejudice and open doors of opportunity to equip individuals with the skills and resources needed to rebuild their lives and contribute positively to their communities.

They work tirelessly to break the cycle of incarceration, dismantling barriers and fostering an environment of acceptance and understanding. With Safer, individuals are able to rewrite their narratives, rise above their past, and embrace limitless possibilities for their future. Lives are transformed, identities reclaimed, and communities are enriched as individuals begin to envision a brighter future – a future in which they belong. 

Through the work of the Safer Foundation we’re reminded of the importance of empathy, understanding, and forgiveness, challenging the notion that mistakes define individuals, and, instead, celebrating their resilience and potential. In a world where judgment often overshadows compassion, the Safer Foundation rises above the noise, guiding individuals towards redemption and renewal and reminding us of the transformative power of second chances in building a vibrant society. 

BUILD Chicago

BUILD (Broader Urban Involvement & Leadership Development) has been transforming the lives of young people in Chicago since 1969. Focusing on gang intervention, violence prevention, and youth development, the organization provides opportunities and inspires hope for youth facing systemic obstacles. Through mentoring, arts, athletics, college and career preparation, technology, and mental health programs, BUILD serves over 6,500 youth and families each year.

In response to the urgent need to address violence, BUILD launched the BUILDing Healthy Futures initiative in 2012. This initiative promotes healthy lifestyles through knowledge, nutrition, physical activity, and social-emotional learning. As violence rates increased in Chicago, BUILD adjusted its efforts to target areas with the greatest needs, such as Austin, Humboldt Park, and the West and South Sides. Since 2016, the organization has expanded its impact by establishing a Clinical Health & Wellness department and introducing Enrichment programs focusing on art, technology, and leadership training.

BUILD places a strong emphasis on building relationships with youth, fostering trust, and providing advocacy, support systems, and high expectations. They strive to ensure that every young person in every neighborhood has the opportunity for success. And they’ve achieved tangible results, with regular program participants showing decreases in negative behaviors, increases in prosocial behaviors, social mobility, post-secondary success, and civic activism/engagement.

They provide academic support and open doors to college and career opportunities for at-risk youth, including teen mothers and formerly incarcerated youth. Additionally, Project BUILD helps incarcerated teens reclaim their lives by introducing innovative practices to learn from past mistakes and develop positive life skills. They also engage neighborhood adults through the Community Resources Development program, collaborate with social service providers, and offer alternatives to incarceration for troubled youth.

Another powerful component to BUILD is The Iris, their campus farm, which plays a vital role in bringing fresh food, job experiences, and hands-on learning opportunities to the broader community. At The Iris, fresh and locally grown produce is cultivated, harvested, and shared with the surrounding community. By providing access to nutritious food, The Iris contributes to combating food insecurity and promoting healthier lifestyles for the community. 

Furthermore, the farm serves as a space for educational programs and workshops, allowing individuals of all ages to engage in experiential learning and gain a deeper understanding of sustainable agriculture and environmental stewardship. To date, BUILD collaborates with over 100 organizations, demonstrating a commitment to a true community partnership. 

Firehouse Community Arts Center

The Firehouse Community Arts Center, located across disinvested neighborhoods of Chicago, serves as a sanctuary of creativity and healing. For over a decade, they have provided a safe haven for young people in Chicago – its primary focus on preventing and interrupting youth and young adults caught in violence through a range of events and art programs. The center’s origins go back to a Saturday night Hip-Hop worship service in 2003, organized by Pastor Phil Jackson and attended by youth and young adults from North Lawndale and beyond. The overwhelming response led to the incorporation of the Firehouse Community Art Center as a 501(c)(3) non profit in 2006, and the subsequent purchase of a 100-year-old Chicago Firehouse in North Lawndale in 2007.

Today, the Firehouse Community Arts Center offers year-round, multi-disciplinary cultural arts programming, mentorship, leadership development, and workforce training. Its mission is centered around preventing and interrupting violence by providing young people with meaningful opportunities to engage in the arts. The center serves as a hub for artistic expression and creativity, empowering the youth and young adults of North Lawndale and the wider community. Through these various forms of expression, individuals find solace and strength, realizing that they are so much more than what they may have been led to believe.

The Firehouse Community Arts Center stands as a testament to the spirit of a community that refuses to be forgotten. It embodies the transformative power of art, connecting hearts and illuminating the human experience. In this reclaimed fire station, hope blossoms, wounds heal, and communities are woven together through shared experiences. 

IMAN (Inner-City Muslim Action Network)

Since its inception in 1997, IMAN has served as a powerful force for change on Chicago’s South Side. Rooted in the lived experiences of marginalized communities, IMAN’s passionate visionaries have nurtured the organization into a beacon of hope and transformation. 

IMAN’s approach defies conventional boundaries, recognizing that true change requires addressing the interconnected web of systemic inequities. They are a prime example of “buying the block” to provide services to the people. (I encourage you to read this more broad outline of how they’re changing the game – IMAN’s Principles of Change)

IMAN’s story celebrates the indomitable human spirit and the resilience of communities of color. They are catalysts for transformation, defying limitations and reshaping narratives. Their legacy will forever resonate as a testament to unity, resilience, and unwavering hope, fostering a society where every voice is heard, every life is valued, and justice radiates in every corner.

Embrace the Counter-Narrative

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey. I understand that stepping back and considering something different than what you may have believed or felt can be a hard thing to do. But I encourage you to. As we embrace the counter-narrative, we recognize that violence and crime do not define the entirety of Chicago or its residents. We acknowledge the agency and resilience of those who are actively engaged in creating positive change and foster a more nuanced and understanding of the city’s complex realities. 

I love the people of Chicago and thank them so much for their willingness to share the dope ways in which they are making a difference in their communities. I learned so much. Let’s commit to challenge our preconceived notions. And let’s celebrate the remarkable work being done by local community organizers in some of the most disinvested areas in our country. As one of these champions stated, “we don’t get to clock out – this is what we do 24/7.” That’s commitment. That is love. That is community. 

So the next time you hear someone say “well what are they doing about crime in Chicago” or some other racist trope, I challenge you to step up. You can show them this blog. You can point them to one of these fabulous organizations where they can ask the folks doing the work directly. And, while they’re at it – since they’re so concerned – they can donate to their causes. Let’s transcend stereotypes, embrace the counter-narrative, and support the transformative efforts of so many amazing nonprofits, such as these, in their mission to build a more peaceful and prosperous society for all.

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: adversity, Advocacy, Chicago, community, connection, Counter-Narrative, Education, Equity, healing, History, humanity, inspiration, justice, learn, mental health, together, transformation, Youth

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