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Weekly With Whitfield – Transition

September 4, 2023 by drwhitfield 1 Comment

As we make our way from one space to the next over the course of our lives, there are always a transition periods. During those moments of transition, all too often, there’s a great swirl of emotions that churn within us. And the way we navigate those emotions is critical to the outcomes those transitional moments bring.

The Challenge of Change 

Change can be challenging. Learning new things presents new and unique opportunities. Getting to know the new faces takes a lot of energy and intentional focus. Transitioning from that which you were very familiar with to something new presents you with daily moments of learning, application, and reflection. 

And these are all wonderful things! I firmly believe that it is in these moments throughout the course of our lives that we grow the most. Comfort and familiarity seems all well and good. But it is during these transitional periods that we really find out what we’re made of.

Unexpected Transitions

Roughly two years ago I began a transition that I never anticipated. In a matter of days, my entire life was flipped upside down. All of a sudden, I was thrust into the national spotlight answering calls from The New York Times, NBC, The Washington Post, and the likes.

In an instant, I went from someone who was very “don’t make the 6 o’clock news” to “let’s use the news to highlight what’s happening here and bring awareness” – something I was unfamiliar with and, if I’m honest, rather uncomfortable with. But, seeing as though I grew up in an environment where I was forced to fight through various things that came my way, I knew only one course of action…TO FIGHT.

As I transitioned to a new world of media engagements and advocacy I felt discombobulated. This space looked and felt quite different than showing up at school each day surrounded by the staff and students I adored. I felt empty and alone. I felt disconnected and depressed. This transition was not something I’d planned for, nor desired, yet here I was.

Embrace the Unknown

Over time I would find my footing. What helped the most was looking into the eyes of the people who love me most, my family. Over time I would come to reframe the situation. This transition would not be something happening to me. Rather, I would turn this on its head and take what was meant for my detriment into something positive for my family and the greater global community. 

I put my head down and started on projects I’d once considered, but never did. One of those projects was writing a book and, boy, do I have a doozy in the works to shine a light on what so many educators across the country are facing. I won’t share too much now but I can’t wait until it’s time to send that out into the world. 

Family Support

Most importantly, though, I looked at this as an opportunity to be there for my family in a way that I’d never been able to over the course of my career. Those who know me, know – I only know one way to be a teacher/coach/administer – and that’s FULL FORCE! I give my all to every school I’ve had the pleasure of serving. And, while I have the most amazing and understanding family support system, I know that, oftentimes, they took what was left of me after many of those long, challenging days serving in public schools.

Personal Growth

Slowly, I got out of bed a bit quicker, I calmed my bitterness and frustration, and I leaned into being ON for my family. That’s not to say that disappointment, frustration, bitterness, and anger did not rear their ugly heads over time. They did. If I told you the amount of times I heard people say I’d never work in public education in the metroplex again. If I heard it once, I heard it a hundred times. And I’m talking from folks in pretty high-up places in various districts across the DFW. And every time it had nothing to do with who I was. No, that was intact, well known, and even desired by many of these people. Yet the lack of intestinal fortitude kept many from taking a leap of faith for fear of a small group of hateful, bigoted, intolerant people. It’s been both an eye-opening and disappointing realization that some who claim to be in this work for kids and educators are really more interested in political positioning and harmful games.

Overcoming Adversity

But I would not let this consume me. In reality, I dodged a bullet with those who were afraid of the “bogeyman backlash”, as I sure did not want to end up in a situation where I was serving for a leader who lacked courage, integrity, and conviction. So I embraced the transition and chose to make the most of the challenges presented to me. I poured into my family, advocacy work that took me to the halls of Congress, and partnering with educators, higher education institutions and other organizations across the country. When you’re from where I’m from you’ve learned to make magic out of mess. 

New Beginnings

A few weeks ago, I turned the page on that chapter of life – a chapter that has been more like an entire crazy book. And now I’ve transitioned to a new, beautiful chapter… back in a beautiful school, doing what I love. This transition comes with a new role, a role that entails leading a small, but mighty, district made up of roughly 400 students K-12. It’s such a special place – the acres of tall, big trees, the winding creek, and, most importantly, THE PEOPLE. Everyone has been so warm and welcoming. They’ve made this transition smoother than I ever could’ve imagined. I’m forever grateful that God made this possible. What some meant for harm, He turned to good. 

So as you make the twists and turns of the various transition points in life, give yourself the grace to feel, learn, and grow. As tough as the terrain may be at the moment, always know that you don’t have to walk that rocky road alone. Be still and reflect on ways to reframe and reload to propel yourself forward towards brighter days. I’m rooting for you in all your days ahead.

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: adversity, Advocacy, challenges, family, gratitude, Growth, healing, inspiration, leadership, learn, lessons, life, motivation, optimism, transition

Weekly With Whitfield – Service

August 26, 2023 by drwhitfield Leave a Comment

As we journey through life, certain skills become ingrained in us, like riding a bike after years of not being on one. Chances are, you could go without riding a bike for years and still be able to jump right back on and go like yesterday. 

Ok, maybe you can’t do the rad tricks of yesteryear, but you can ride, nonetheless. Muscle memory kicks in and you’re off to let the steamy breeze of a Texas summer scald your face.

Y’all be careful out there, my fellow Texans

Service

I’ve had an absolute blast in my new role. If you’re an educator you know there’s no tired like “first full week of school” tired. But I am so encouraged, excited, and inspired by what I’ve experienced in my first 8 days of school. To those in education, the fatigue that accompanies the “first full week” is all too familiar. Yet, I find myself invigorated, motivated, and deeply moved as I head into the weekend. The spirit of service manifested in various ways, reminding me of the selflessness that thrives within our communities.

Students: Champions of Responsibility

The sight of students taking it upon themselves to wash windows, empty trash cans, and assist in unloading fans was heartwarming. Without prompting, these young people take extreme ownership of our school facilities and grounds. Their willingness to roll up their sleeves and contribute to the school environment exemplifies the responsible citizens they are becoming. I am telling you – there is something different in the water at this school.

Staff: Stepping Up Without Hesitation

Have you ever been in a place where everyone in your organization where there was no “that’s not my job” mentality? I’ve been in some pretty special places, but never have I experienced the level of “get it done, no matter what” as I have the past 8 days. Our staff proved their dedication beyond the call of duty, stepping in wherever and whenever their assistance was needed. Whether directing traffic during the car line chaos or providing support in unforeseen circumstances, their commitment to ensuring a smooth school operation was unwavering.. I am truly honored to serve with such amazing individuals who are committed to creating a dynamic learning environment for young people.

Families: Answering the Call

Our school community isn’t just confined to the four walls of the institution; it extends to the families who support us. It’s inspiring to witness parents and guardians respond with unwavering support and supplies in hand whenever the need arises. This afternoon a parent handed out huge Smart Waters to staff members who were out in the heat ensuring each student made it to their ride safely. And this was not an isolated event. Time after time I witnessed kind, thoughtful acts by our families throughout the week. They truly are our partners in fostering a nurturing learning environment.

Support: Extending a Helping Hand

With the start of the school year, I sent out our teachers Amazon Wish Lists to as few people, igniting a response from those eager to support. Last year I did something similar on Twitter for educators across the country and it spread like wildfire, securing tens of thousands of dollars for supplies for teacher’s classrooms. 

It is so amazing to be able to do this for my new school family this year. If you would like to support an educator at my school, please click on this link, locate a wishlist and item and send their way. Our staff, students, and families are eternally grateful. Thank you, in advance, for your willingness to serve in such a way.

As I reflect on these instances of service, I can’t help but feel immense pride in the community I am part of. Service isn’t just a transaction; it’s a mindset, a way of life that keeps us connected and thriving. So, as we all navigate the challenges and triumphs of another school year, let us carry this spirit of service forward. Let us honor the dedication of students, staff, families, and supporters by continuing to uplift one another. Thank you for the role you play in serving your community.

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: Advocacy, Education, Growth, inspiration, joy, leadership, lessons, motivation, optimism, Public Education, Reflection, service

Weekly With Whitfield – I’m Back

August 18, 2023 by drwhitfield 2 Comments

On March 18th, 1995, a 16 year-old basketball junkie, would hear two words that sent him through the roof with excitement.

On October 6th, 1993, his favorite player walked away from the game of basketball in the prime of his career. Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player to ever grace the hardwood – I said it – announced his retirement from the NBA.

That kid was me. My mother and I had just watched his Chicago Bulls secure a three-peat just months earlier and all was well in the world. And I was completely devastated. But while my childhood hero was no longer in the game, my love for the game continued to grow. I was determined, like so many kids of that day, to be “Like Mike” (sorry, not sorry, for that jingle ringing in your head the rest of the day).

Wanna Be a Baller

Over the span of those two years I watched my game grow in ways I’d never imagined. I was putting in work. Everywhere I went, I had a basketball in my hand. If there was a good run going on somewhere, I was there.

I wore out the VHS tapes – Come Fly With Me, Michael Jordan’s Playground, Air Time, Above & Beyond! I’d watch a little bit, press pause, go out in the yard and try to emulate those moves, then come back in and watch some more; then do it all again…for hours.

When I wasn’t watching those tapes I was doing various leaping exercises. I was a small, scrawny runt, but I wanted to fly. I wanted to know the air up there. One of the things I did was alternating one legged jumps, working on my form, scraping my hand against the roof shingles. I was gauging how high based on where the scrape was. I had to get about half way up my arm before I could even consider attempting to dunk a basketball. 

I’d also wear ankle weights everywhere I walked. I remember when I’d take them off to hoop I felt like I was free. I was flying. And, while I was just a mighty 5’7”, pretty quickly those scrapes began to get higher and higher on my arm. And I did a horrible job of hiding them. So much so that one of my school counselors called me in for a well-check to make sure I was ok. When I explained to her how I’d come by those scapes she was a bit perplexed. I just smiled and said “come watch me play basketball. I’ll show you what I’ve been up to.”

It was over the course of this time that a spark was lit inside my soul. I know that, for some, this may sound silly. How on earth does a game have such an impact on one’s life? Well, for me it was much more than a game – it was a way out. And with each passing day I poured everything I had into being the best basketball player I could be.

I was still an average student in the classroom. But I was never one to speak up in class. If I could sit in your class and just get by without saying a word, I was good. My teachers and many of my peers I went to high school with didn’t hear me say too much. I was fairly quiet and a bit shy.

But when I stepped foot on that court it all changed. In an instant I transformed into something different. I like to call it passion. But I will be totally honest, that “passion” got me in plenty of trouble, as I was competitive as hell. I was driven to win and had a desire to completely destroy the person in front of me. By no means did I get the better of everyone that I faced. While I definitely tried, me getting the better of someone is not what I’m getting at here. 

The transformation that took place on that court came from an extreme confidence. Over the course of a couple years I’d gone from a relatively non-athletic, scrawny kid, to a dude that was dunking on guys that were over a foot taller than me. And that confidence and ability to do some pretty athletic things came from hard work, dedication, a desire to change my circumstances, and the devastation that came with Michael Jordan being away from the game.

While he may have stepped away, he never really did in my world, as I had him on repeat every single day. But then, on that day in March of 1995, something hit me differently when I heard wind of those two magical words “I’m Back” – the fax heard round the world. 

Transformation

Over the course of two years my whole world changed. In the midst of the chaos that surrounded me, I found a way to focus on where I wanted to be. I set goals. I was disciplined in my approach – no days off. And I was determined to use that round, orange ball to find a way out.

I never made the NBA, as I dreamed. But I did go on to fulfill a goal of playing collegiate basketball – something I always promised my mother I would do. 

But, as I reflect on those times – all the sweat, pain, soreness, mental and physical exhaustion, fighting poverty…you name it – I see how God was using basketball as a conduit to prepare me for the uncertain seasons of life. It’s why basketball has always been more than a game to me. God used a game to prepare me for the many “I’m Back” moments that would undoubtedly unfold on the other side of the mountain.

I’m Back

It has been a long road over the course of the last two years. I’ve been attacked by folks with nefarious agendas. We’ve received hate mail and death threats. I’ve been told by many folks who I’d held in high esteem that I’d never work in public education again in this area due to the media firestorm that accompanied my trials. Believe me, the book is coming. It has been one heck of a ride.

But I’ve also received support and encouragement from so many, near and far. I’ve connected with wonderful educators and advocates across the country along this journey. I’ve partnered with national organizations who are committed to supporting educators in their work. I’ve had the opportunity to testify before the House Subcommittee on Civil Rights and Civil Liberties with regard to classroom censorship. I’ve spoken to thousands of people in various keynotes, workshops, and panels. I’ve worked with preservice teachers to help prepare them for the climate they’re jumping into.

I reached back to the lessons learned by that young boy. I didn’t wallow in pity of devastation. While I was hurting and definitely had my share of challenging days, the strength of my faith refused to allow the obstacles to block my purpose. I got straight to work. I honed my craft, stayed true to my beliefs, and since Wednesday of this week…I’M BACK!!!

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: adversity, Advocacy, Growth, happiness, healing, inspiration, joy, justice, leadership, lessons, life, mental health, motivation, optimism, Reflection, transformation

Weekly With Whitfield – Faith

August 4, 2023 by drwhitfield 4 Comments

Life will always present challenges. Without fail, difficult days are sure to come as we navigate our lives. They come in many forms – from losing a job to facing a serious illness to coping with the death of a loved one, life can seem overwhelming at times. When faced with challenges, it’s easy to feel lost, alone, and afraid. This is where faith kicks in. But, let’s not pretend that faith is some magical potion. Sometimes, it’s hard to find.

Why Faith Escapes Us, At Times

While faith isn’t necessarily magical, it is a powerful thing. Standing in faith gives us hope, strength, and peace in the midst of our struggles. But, at times, faith can seem out of reach for many reasons:

  • Life can be hard. We can become overwhelmed by the moment and lose faith. We question why God would allow us to suffer in such a way. This allows our mind to play tricks on us, making us feel like we are all alone. Then, as we give in to isolation, faith diminishes and despair sets in.
  • We live in a world that is full of confusion and doubt. Whether it’s the news, social media, or even some of our own friends and family, we are often bombarded with messages of doubt. Over time, this toxicity and pessimism can make it hard to have faith in anything.
  • Many of us may have had bad experiences with religion. As I watch the Christian faith become more and more hijacked and weaponized, I’m reminded of so many friends who want nothing to do with religion. Many of them have been hurt by people who claim to be religious. It saddens me to see my faith used as a tool of exclusion, bigotry, and hate. 

A Disclaimer

I’ll start by saying this – I’m a Christian, and I find my strength in Jesus Christ and the promises made in the Bible. I understand that not everyone reading this may be Christian, and that’s ok. It still remains my hope that you are able to use these words, in some way, as you navigate your faith journey. 

Through The Fire

The Bible is full of examples of how faith brings forth the power to overcome. But one that always stands out to me is that of brother Job. He was a righteous man who devoted his life to the service of god. Job held great wealth and had a large family. But one day, his life got flipped upside down.

Satan proposed a challenge to God, saying that Job would only serve Him because he was living a good life. Surely, if Job saw days of strife he’d turn his back on God. But God knew better. So he accepted the challenge and allowed Satan to test Job’s faith by causing him to suffer.

Throughout his trials, our dear brother Job lost everything: his livestock, his servants, his children, and even his health. He was covered in boils and was so sick that he could barely move.

Seeing Job suffering, his friend’s came to visit him – something was terribly off. But instead of extending comfort and grace, many accused him of sinning. Surely Job must have done something wrong to deserve such pain and suffering.

This left Job angry and confused. He could not reconcile or understand why God was allowing such grim days. But through his anger, Job never gave up his faith in God.

Faith Carries

Job’s faith was tested to the limit, but it never broke. He knew that, ultimately, God was still in control, even though he couldn’t answer the question of “why?”. 

His extreme faith offered hope in the midst of despair. That faith gave him the fortitude to press on, even when things seemed at their worst. And, armed with that strong faith, Job had the peace of mind needed to know that everything was gonna be alright in the end. 

Ultimately, God restored Job’s fortunes. He gave him back everything he had lost…and more. And Job went on to live a long and prosperous life.

Job’s story is a reminder that faith can carry us through even the most difficult challenges. When we face suffering, it is easy to lose our way – but we must never forget to face those challenges with an unrelenting faith.

Reflections 

As I think back on life, I’m reminded of so many times where I definitely didn’t understand the struggle I was faced with. Throughout my journey, I faced numerous challenges, starting with trying to break free from an impoverished environment. Then, tragically, losing my mother to leukemia at the age of 19. And, if all those lumps were not enough, the path to enter the education profession was arduous, but I persevered. Then, as I rose in my career, I encountered opposition from individuals with questionable motives, putting my faith to the test repeatedly.

But, through it all, I found solace in the promise of God’s word and provision. While it may have been hard to see in some of those moments, I always knew there was something greater on the other side of the challenges I faced.

Saying Goodbye

This week we faced another great test of faith as we laid one of our dear friends to rest. When something as tragic as this happens we’re left with all sorts of questions and even feelings of anger. As we try to wrap our minds around the senselessness of it all it can become all-consuming. 

But, in the end, I choose to turn to faith. Knowing that our dear friend is at rest in the arms of our Heavenly Father and will see no more pain. I have faith that, one precious day, we will be united with her, and so many of our dear loved ones, when we’re called home. And I have faith that, while she may be gone from this earth, her legacy of protection and advocacy for others will live on in the lives of so many. Our faith has carried us through yet another dark and tragic moment in our lives, and will propel us forward in our unique purpose in the days ahead.

Keep The Faith

If you are facing a challenge in your life, I encourage you to put your faith in God. He is with you, and He will help you to overcome whatever you are facing. Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time in prayer. Refuse to give up. And, remember…this is a team game – you’re not in this alone. I’m rooting for you! Keep the FAITH!

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: adversity, Bible, blessings, challenges, Christian, death, faith, God, grief, hope, humanity, inspiration, Job, leadership, life, loss, mental health, optimism, overcoming, peace, Reflection, resilience, strength, suffering

Weekly With Whitfield – Humanity

July 7, 2023 by drwhitfield Leave a Comment

My wife and I finally got around to watching a show that had been on our list for a long while – Ted Lasso. I know. I know. We’re late to the game. We didn’t jump on the Lasso train early on but, my goodness, am I glad we finally did. Beyond its comedic brilliance, this show imparts valuable life lessons and offers so many powerful takeaways – far too many to list here – but mostly centered on human connection. Here are a few elements that stood out to me about the Lasso Way.

Optimism

Coach Lasso’s unwavering optimism in the face of adversity and conflict is inspiring. Despite relentless setbacks, he maintains a positive outlook. And this isn’t the toxic positivity of just pretending everything is ok or being naive. While optimistic, he often acknowledges the elephant in the room, head-on. Then he pushes forward. We can all take a page out of that playbook. Being optimistic does not necessarily mean that we walk around with rose-colored glasses all day. But it sure doesn’t help to throw them on every now and then and see things in a more positive light.

Empathy

Empathy lies at his core, taking the time to understand and deeply connect with others, showing genuine care and concern. As we embrace empathy it allows us to better understand and support those around us. Empathy derives from listening actively, putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes, and responding with kindness and understanding. When we recognize and validate people’s emotions, we create a safe space for open dialogue. We all need an empathetic ear at some point. Look for opportunities to practice this skill with those around you. In a society that can be so quick to cast shame and judgment, choose empathy.

Kindness

Dude’s a true leader – leading with kindness, mutual respect, and compassion. By treating everyone with dignity and respect (whether they have earned it or deserve it), he fosters a positive environment. Great leaders support and encourage others, they have a servant’s heart, and they are compassionate. Never underestimate the power of small acts of kindness. They can have a profound impact on the people around you. I encourage you to make a conscious effort to perform random acts of kindness each day – whether it be complimenting a stranger, a hand-written note, offering assistance to someone in need, or even a home-made box of biscuits.

Vulnerability 

Coach Lasso shows that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength. He openly shares his own struggles and emotions with those around him, creating a space for others to do the same. When we embrace vulnerability in our own lives by opening up about your fears, insecurities, and challenges, we unlock a code. And, equipped with this code, we are able to foster deeper connections, which allows others the opportunity to provide support and understanding. If you haven’t done so lately, initiate a meaningful conversation with a loved one, friend, or colleague. Refuse to be limited by fears and insecurities. Utilize your secret weapon or vulnerability and, in turn, encourage others to do the same.

Relationships. Relationships. Relationships

The ability to forge genuine human connections is evident throughout the show. Coach Lasso’s approach to building relationships is grounded in trust, empathy, and open communication. Whether it’s forming a bond with a troubled player or forging unlikely friendships, his actions speak to the profound impact of meaningful connections on our well-being and happiness. It encourages us to invest time and effort into cultivating relationships that enrich our lives. People know when you care. And they know when you don’t. The power of human connection can change lives.

Forgiveness over Resentment

Resentment seems to be our default setting in most cases. And that was evident in the lives of so many of the characters of this show. But resentment shackles us to past trauma. Forgiveness is key to our personal growth. Our willingness to forgive doesn’t mean that our pain is not valid. Rather, our ability to forgive acknowledges the reality that exists and our power to refuse to be held hostage by someone else’s demons. We all have someone in our life to forgive. I encourage you to find that someone and work towards that reality, whether you feel they deserve it or not. Refuse the limitations of resentment.

Believe

And there’s so much more…but I don’t want to spoil the show for any who may not have watched it yet. I often wondered what all the hype was about, but after watching it is clear as to why Ted Lasso captured the hearts of viewers worldwide. While funny and witty, it also evokes deep emotional connectivity and asks us to look deep into the best parts of our being. As the world can be a tricky and often messy place to navigate, I have no doubt that this show will provide the breath of fresh air needed, anytime. Keep on Believin’!

***And here’s a beautiful montage that doesn’t spoil too much 🙂

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: believe, compassion, connection, empathy, forgiveness, Growth, happiness, humanity, inspiration, joy, kindness, leadership, learn, lessons, love, mental health, motivation, optimism, Reflection, relationships, Ted Lasso, vulnerability

Weekly With Whitfield – Reframe

June 2, 2023 by drwhitfield Leave a Comment

It’s wild how swiftly time has flown, bringing us to the month of June, 2023. When I embarked on this introspective journey at the beginning of the year, I couldn’t have predicted the path it would take. While the idea of starting a weekly blog intrigued me, I was well aware of the challenge of maintaining consistency week after week. To those who have joined me on this adventure, I want to express my deepest gratitude. Your feedback, words of encouragement, and active participation have played a vital role in keeping me motivated and pushing me forward.

For those who have been accompanying me over the past couple of years, you know that it has been an extraordinary journey. I’ve faced unwarranted criticism from individuals who don’t truly know me, but I’ve also received recognition and praise from organizations that share my passion for youth and education. Some days, I’ve struggled to find the strength to get out of bed, while other days, the presence of remarkable individuals in my life has ignited inspiration within me.

Throughout this journey, I’ve found solace in moments of quiet contemplation. Additionally, I’ve been uplifted and motivated by a select few, including my beloved wife, who have stood unwaveringly by my side through every twist and turn. Along the way, I’ve learned valuable lessons and had my existing beliefs reaffirmed.

These past years have presented me with a conundrum. At times, bitterness, disgust, and anger have consumed me. Yet, in other moments, I’ve felt immense gratitude, encouragement, and motivation. It has been a whirlwind of emotions, but I have no doubt that God is paving the way for greater things.

The ability to overcome adversity is deeply influenced by our capacity to reframe. In the face of significant changes in my day-to-day life, I refuse to abandon my purpose. Let me be clear—it’s not an easy feat. It demands intentional effort and unwavering focus. But it’s undeniably worth it. Never underestimate the transformative power of reframing.

When we engage in the practice of reframing, we empower ourselves to find strength and meaning in the face of great odds. Its power creates space for us to challenge limiting beliefs and reevaluate our circumstances through a more optimistic lens. It lifts us from victimhood to empowerment, recognizing that we have the ability to shape our own narratives. By consciously choosing to reframe, we gain control and agency over our lives. Back in the driver’s seat, we are able to find hidden opportunities, cultivate gratitude for what we have, and focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. 

So, while it may be tempting to dwell on grievances and anxieties from the past couple of years, I choose not to do so. Instead, I will reframe my perspective and focus on the fact that, despite all the challenges, I still stand tall. I am immensely grateful for the support of good friends, advocates, and my incredible family. In every line of my song, there they stand beside me. I consider myself extremely fortunate.

My wish for you is that you embrace whatever discomfort comes your way. Reframe those unique challenges that cross your path and rewrite the script, transforming them into beautiful opportunities. Believe in your ability to do so, because you can.

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: adversity, Growth, healing, inspiration, leadership, lessons, life, mental health, motivation, opportunity, Reflection, reframe

Weekly With Whitfield – Endings

May 26, 2023 by drwhitfield 4 Comments

Throughout this week, the concept of endings has occupied my thoughts, leading me to ponder the profound role they play in shaping our lives. As the familiar sound of the school bell reverberated through the air, my eyes were fixed on my son, Landon, who, in that very moment, transitioned from a fourth grader to a fifth grader. The previous year had dissipated like dust in the wind as he excitedly dashed towards me, arms wide open for an affectionate embrace.

Happy Retirement

However, my gaze extended beyond the immediate, and I noticed Mrs. Pybus, his teacher, lingering in the distance. In this moment, I realized that for Mrs. Pybus, this marked the culmination of a profound and storied career. Landon had the privilege of being a part of her final class before she chose to embark on the journey of retirement. The conclusion of fourth grade for Landon mirrored the final notes of a symphony composed of Mrs. Pybus’ unwavering dedication to the service of children—a harmonious culmination of a lifelong pursuit.

Endings are complex and multifaceted, evoking a mixture of emotions that ebb and flow within us. They carry with them a sense of uncertainty that shrouds our path forward. Yet, nestled within the depths of this uncertainty lies an extraordinary revelation: as we bid farewell to one chapter, we create fertile ground for new beginnings to take root and flourish.

Time Flies

Although we still have one more year of elementary school left with our youngest child, I am acutely aware of how swiftly this chapter will draw to a close. This realization has been solidified through my experiences with both Jordan and Lauren, my older children. It feels as though it was only yesterday when they embarked upon their tentative first steps into the realm of kindergarten, their innocent eyes brimming with curiosity and wonder. And yet, like a fleeting wind gust, they have matured into remarkable individuals, confidently donning their caps and gowns, clutching their hard-earned college degrees. There was a time when these transitions filled me with melancholy, a sense of loss as familiar chapters reached their final pages. However, as time has passed, I have learned to embrace the inherent opportunities that lie within endings, and I cherish the privilege of being present to witness the dawning of new beginnings alongside my children.

Endings, rather than being definitive conclusions, should be perceived as the threshold to a fresh chapter in the intricate story of our lives. Instead of succumbing to worry or apprehension, I urge you to wholeheartedly embrace each moment and seize the opportunity to embark on this new season with unwavering enthusiasm and resolute determination. 

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: Advocacy, community, connection, Education, Educator, Endings, family, Growth, happiness, healing, humanity, inspiration, leadership, learn, life, motivation, Reflection

Weekly With Whitfield – Lost

April 21, 2023 by drwhitfield 4 Comments

He was nowhere to be found. Toby, our plump, black and white, 10 year old cat, was lost. It’s Thursday, April 13th, and he must’ve slipped out the back door the night before. I was going back-and-forth to tend to the grill and that little sneaky guy got away. I awoke to calls from my wife, Kerrie, in a panic. Searching and searching before she went to work – to no avail. She was an emotional mess. 

And now she left for the salon to go work her chemical magic on people’s hair. Don’t get me wrong – I, too, was a bit panicked, but at this point my worry was more about my wife’s emotional well-being and the deep sadness that would ensue if we did not find Toby. My determination to find Toby is riding high.

The Search is On

I go through camera footage from the following night. BOOM! There he is at 1:30am just chillin’ out by the pool lounger like he doesn’t even know he’s an indoor cat. At roughly 4:30am, he walks off to the east side of the house, then never shows up again on camera.

Off I go. I search the backyard again and again. I walk our little culdesac over and over. I get on the Nextdoor platform (which I absolutely dread) and post a brief message and picture about Toby being missing. I do the same on our small community Facebook group. Nothing. Toby is gone. 

I jump in my car to expand my search. I don’t think he’s gone far, but I just want to check this off the list. As I creep at a crawl along these neighborhood streets I’m cognizant of the “look”. When I see people working in their yards outside, I’m quick to speak.

“Hello there! You wouldn’t have happened to see a plump, black and white cat around here, would ya?” 

Each response was, generally, the same:

“Nope. Good luck.”

Help Is On the Way

All of a sudden, my phone rings. It’s Kerrie. Usually, I’m very excited to answer her calls. When I see her name pop up I get this massive rush of dopamine. But for this specific call I was sad. I knew I didn’t have the news she was looking for and my heart was breaking. I answer the call and, through her tears, she tells me that my mother-in-law, Colleen (aka Mama), is on the way. I’m relieved to have some help. Especially from Mama, as she’s a freakin’ cat whisperer. If he’s anywhere close, she’ll find him.

Soon after I hang up with Kerrie, Colleen calls to let me know she’s on the way. She suggests printing off some flyers that we can post around the neighborhood. When she arrives, off we go, flyers, cat treats, and tape in hand. 

Doors

We walk. And walk. And walk. This dude is absolutely nowhere to be found. All of a sudden Mama says, 

“what if he went to someone’s door and they saw this pretty little cat and just took him inside?”

“Good point”, I thought.

She continues, “how bout you just go knock on some of these doors and just ask people if they’ve seen him. He may be in one of these houses.”

I stop in my tracks and immediately say, “Mama, there ain’t no way I’m (pointing to my chest) going up to knock on any of these doors – especially here in Texas.”

I didn’t have to think about my response. It was instantaneous. A lifetime of lessons learned about how I am to navigate this world. Ever-aware and conscientious that, in many spaces, my very existence is seen as a threat. I’m not knocking on any doors of people I don’t know.

In the end, Toby’s little bad butt was tucked up under our pool lounger cover THE WHOLE TIME. Talk about being super relieved and highly pissed at the same time. But the most important thing – he’s found and I get to deliver that news to Kerrie, who was on the verge of canceling the rest of her day. Disaster averted. Toby once was lost, but now is found! The relief in her voice soothed my soul.

The Cost of Being Lost

Days later, Ralph Yarl, a 16 year-old Black young man, was shot twice (once in the head) for simply knocking on the wrong door in Kansas City, Missouri. He was sent to pick up his siblings at 115th Terrace Street and, mistakenly, showed up at 115th Street. He knocked on the door, no words exchanged, and an 84 year-old White man simply shot him through the door. 

Despite suffering these violent wounds, Ralph ran to three different houses for assistance and, finally, aid was given – but not before being asked to lay on the ground with his hands up. Miraculously, Ralph is expected to make a full recovery. But my goodness…no child should have to ever fear ringing a doorbell.

When I heard of this tragedy I was left to grapple with what I said to Mama just days earlier. I didn’t just manufacture some fairytale of something going horribly wrong as I approached someone’s home. I could literally see it playing out. There was not a hint of play in my voice.

What most will never understand is that, while Ralph took the literal bullet, there was a figurative bullet that shot through the hearts of every Black person as they learned of this story. And that bullet doesn’t simply pass through – it leaves fragments of trauma along the way. A daily reminder that your body can be taken, at any point, for simply being lost – for simply existing. 

And Then There’s New York

More tragedy strikes days later when 20-year-old Kaylin Gillis was shot and killed because she and her friends were lost. They pulled into a 65-year-old man’s driveway to turn around and were met with armed resistance. The reason for Kaylin’s death was simply being lost. As if the shooting of Ralph was not enough of a gut punch to our societal consciousness, this senseless act highlights a reality we face.

In what world is it okay for our kids to fear being shot at or killed when they pull into a driveway to turn around? As parents and guardians, we must now have that conversation with our children and tell them to never pull into someone’s driveway to turn around – even if they’re lost. Another life was taken in a senseless act. All because these kids were lost.

And Then There’s Texas

We’ve all done it before. We approach, and maybe try to enter, a car that looks similar to either our own or one of our friend’s. But this simply being lost in the moment could cause us serious bodily harm (or even our life), as displayed here in Texas.

Several friends who met in an Elgin H-E-B parking lot had just returned from cheerleading practice.  One of the young ladies, Heather Roth, mistakenly opened the car door to a car she thought was hers, only to see a man sitting in the passenger seat.

Quickly, she retreated to her friend’s car. She gets in and rolls down the window to apologize to the man, who’s coming towards their car. They saw he had a gun and tried to speed off and then he just started shooting at them. Heather was grazed by a bullet. Another young lady, Peyton Washington, was shot in the leg and back.

In each of these instances there are such high costs for simply being lost.

Trauma

I cannot imagine what each of these families are going through right now. And not just those who were killed or injured – in some of these instances there were bystanders that will carry what happened with them forever. I pray that each person impacted by these horrific events receives the care they need to heal. I hope we can start to have some serious discussions about how some of these “stand your ground” laws have not necessarily served to make our communities safer.

When these tragedies happen we’re left with so many questions that often go unresolved. It seems as though we have almost become numb to it. We see it on the news one night, then the next night there’s another one. The sheer volume of these senseless acts has driven some into a dark corner of apathy. They become desensitized and think it’s just the way things go. I refuse to look towards that dreary corner. It stalls progress and leaves our communities more vulnerable.

Lost

As a society, we appear to be desperately lost. Hang in there with me – I’m not saying all hope is lost – but we are, indeed, lost. 

Decade after decade we’ve been led to believe that our brothers and sisters are not such. People in positions of power and authority understand that there is a time-tested, proven, way of maintaining that power. And that is to pit man against man.

If I can convince you to see someone as less than human, it becomes much easier to subjugate, discriminate, and hate that group. 

If I say it enough that “this group of people are coming to take your jobs”, at some point, you start to believe it and hard calluses begin to form in your mind about “them”.

If I scream it loud enough that “LGBTQ+ people are somehow pedophiles who are out to recruit your kids”, at some point, you start to believe it.

Day after day, we’ve been inundated with one simple tactic that has been used throughout the ages – FEAR. And this fear leaves us lost. 

Dazed and confused. 

Wandering aimlessly across each other’s paths. 

Narrowly avoiding disaster most days. 

With the capacity to inflict heinous and unspeakable acts against one another on other days.

The Way Back

But there is a way back. And it’s really quite simple. 

Embrace humanity. 

Interrupt the noise with empathy and compassion. 

Choose to see the good in the world. 

Reject rhetoric that seeks to sow distrust and divide. 

Understand that, oftentimes, the people using these ugly tactics are simply being used. They’re misguided by those who hold power over them. 

Remember, as humans we all have an innate desire to belong. It just so happens that need is sometimes filled by nefarious ideologies. 

Every time you have the opportunity, extend grace. Even to those who may seem to be totally off-base and too far gone. Especially to those who treat you the worst. 

Give them something more beautiful to belong to. Open the door and invite them in. Give them a parking spot in your driveway. Welcome them. 

In the end, they’re simply lost. Be the light that guides them back to love and humanity, not the flash from a muzzle that leaves them wounded and in despair.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: community, Growth, guns, leadership, learn, life, lost, together, violence, Youth

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