Dr. James Whitfield

gratitude

Weekly With Whitfield – Transition

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As we make our way from one space to the next over the course of our lives, there are always a transition periods. During those moments of transition, all too often, there’s a great swirl of emotions that churn within us. And the way we navigate those emotions is critical to the outcomes those transitional moments bring.

The Challenge of Change 

Change can be challenging. Learning new things presents new and unique opportunities. Getting to know the new faces takes a lot of energy and intentional focus. Transitioning from that which you were very familiar with to something new presents you with daily moments of learning, application, and reflection. 

And these are all wonderful things! I firmly believe that it is in these moments throughout the course of our lives that we grow the most. Comfort and familiarity seems all well and good. But it is during these transitional periods that we really find out what we’re made of.

Unexpected Transitions

Roughly two years ago I began a transition that I never anticipated. In a matter of days, my entire life was flipped upside down. All of a sudden, I was thrust into the national spotlight answering calls from The New York Times, NBC, The Washington Post, and the likes.

In an instant, I went from someone who was very “don’t make the 6 o’clock news” to “let’s use the news to highlight what’s happening here and bring awareness” – something I was unfamiliar with and, if I’m honest, rather uncomfortable with. But, seeing as though I grew up in an environment where I was forced to fight through various things that came my way, I knew only one course of action…TO FIGHT.

As I transitioned to a new world of media engagements and advocacy I felt discombobulated. This space looked and felt quite different than showing up at school each day surrounded by the staff and students I adored. I felt empty and alone. I felt disconnected and depressed. This transition was not something I’d planned for, nor desired, yet here I was.

Embrace the Unknown

Over time I would find my footing. What helped the most was looking into the eyes of the people who love me most, my family. Over time I would come to reframe the situation. This transition would not be something happening to me. Rather, I would turn this on its head and take what was meant for my detriment into something positive for my family and the greater global community. 

I put my head down and started on projects I’d once considered, but never did. One of those projects was writing a book and, boy, do I have a doozy in the works to shine a light on what so many educators across the country are facing. I won’t share too much now but I can’t wait until it’s time to send that out into the world. 

Family Support

Most importantly, though, I looked at this as an opportunity to be there for my family in a way that I’d never been able to over the course of my career. Those who know me, know – I only know one way to be a teacher/coach/administer – and that’s FULL FORCE! I give my all to every school I’ve had the pleasure of serving. And, while I have the most amazing and understanding family support system, I know that, oftentimes, they took what was left of me after many of those long, challenging days serving in public schools.

Personal Growth

Slowly, I got out of bed a bit quicker, I calmed my bitterness and frustration, and I leaned into being ON for my family. That’s not to say that disappointment, frustration, bitterness, and anger did not rear their ugly heads over time. They did. If I told you the amount of times I heard people say I’d never work in public education in the metroplex again. If I heard it once, I heard it a hundred times. And I’m talking from folks in pretty high-up places in various districts across the DFW. And every time it had nothing to do with who I was. No, that was intact, well known, and even desired by many of these people. Yet the lack of intestinal fortitude kept many from taking a leap of faith for fear of a small group of hateful, bigoted, intolerant people. It’s been both an eye-opening and disappointing realization that some who claim to be in this work for kids and educators are really more interested in political positioning and harmful games.

Overcoming Adversity

But I would not let this consume me. In reality, I dodged a bullet with those who were afraid of the “bogeyman backlash”, as I sure did not want to end up in a situation where I was serving for a leader who lacked courage, integrity, and conviction. So I embraced the transition and chose to make the most of the challenges presented to me. I poured into my family, advocacy work that took me to the halls of Congress, and partnering with educators, higher education institutions and other organizations across the country. When you’re from where I’m from you’ve learned to make magic out of mess. 

New Beginnings

A few weeks ago, I turned the page on that chapter of life – a chapter that has been more like an entire crazy book. And now I’ve transitioned to a new, beautiful chapter… back in a beautiful school, doing what I love. This transition comes with a new role, a role that entails leading a small, but mighty, district made up of roughly 400 students K-12. It’s such a special place – the acres of tall, big trees, the winding creek, and, most importantly, THE PEOPLE. Everyone has been so warm and welcoming. They’ve made this transition smoother than I ever could’ve imagined. I’m forever grateful that God made this possible. What some meant for harm, He turned to good. 

So as you make the twists and turns of the various transition points in life, give yourself the grace to feel, learn, and grow. As tough as the terrain may be at the moment, always know that you don’t have to walk that rocky road alone. Be still and reflect on ways to reframe and reload to propel yourself forward towards brighter days. I’m rooting for you in all your days ahead.

Weekly With Whitfield – Journey

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This week, I celebrated my 45th trip around the sun. I can hardly wrap my mind around the fact that I am now 45 years old. My emotions are all over the place as I reflect on being here to see such a day.  As for most of us, life has been quite the adventurous ride, filled with trials and tribulations. And with each passing year I am filled with immense gratitude. As I reflect on the journey I can’t help but stand in complete awe of God’s grace, mercy, and steadfast love. As I looked around at the party that gathered at the restaurant I was consumed with feelings of warmth, gratitude, love, and joy. Good friends, my baby brother, my children, my beautiful bride – what more could a guy ask for? 

Thank you, Lord!

Out of the Darkness

As a young boy, I felt as though I’d never grow old. At least I couldn’t envision it. 

How the hell would I get there?

Time seemed to tick along, ever so slowly, as we navigated the challenges of daily life. 

I couldn’t see beyond the day. Try as I may, it was hard to envision brighter days. I was surrounded by chaos and often felt as though things may have been better for everyone if I’d never been born. 

As I lay in my bed each night I’d envision a world that didn’t include me. And, while I never contemplated taking my own life, the questioning of my existence, my purpose, persisted:

What is the meaning of this?

Why am I here?

Why so much pain, conflict, and struggle?

Those questions, and so many more, found their way into the recesses of my mind in the still of the night under the cover of darkness. Thankfully, along the way, God blessed me with so many people who saw me, believed in me, nurtured me, and loved me through the mess. As I celebrated my 45th birthday, surrounded by loved ones who’ve been part of this journey, I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of gratitude. Throughout my life, the people I’ve met, experiences I’ve lived, and the challenges I’ve overcome that helped that poor little boy from Midland, TX to resoundingly answer those questions of his existence. 

Embrace the Journey

Life’s journey is so very unpredictable. I have learned to embrace the beauty that lies in that. Each twist and turn presents a chance to learn and grow. And as I step into this next chapter, I carry with me the lessons learned, excited for the road ahead. 

On my birthday week, my wish for you is to embrace the journey, cherish every moment, and celebrate the beauty of this complex, yet beautiful, life. Don’t stop believin’!

 

Weekly With Whitfield – Devastated

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Most days I try to keep it moving in gratitude. I am so very grateful for the many blessings in my life – my wife, kids, friends, profession, health – amongst a host of other things. But living in gratitude does not make you immune to the ills of society. Our relationship between gratitude and the blows that life deals is, well…let’s just say it’s complicated.

Gratitude Amidst Devastation

So often, when things go awry in our society, someone comes along with the “it could be worse” line. And, while I believe this comes from a good place (most of the time), I can’t help but feel like it diminishes the very real tragedies and struggles folks are going through in real time. 

Yes, it could “always be worse”…but stating such isn’t a meaningful way of dealing with chaos. We can still practice gratitude while being in a state of disappointment, disgust, anger, and/or frustration. But we operate in such a “grind it out” and “push through” society that often urges people towards feeling as we want them to feel (good) rather than the way they may need to feel at the time.

So this week, while I am so grateful for my many blessings, it has also been devastating.

Devastated

Devastation sets in with each passing evening this week. I turn on the news to hear of the latest shooting here in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. 

Shooting. 

Another Shooting.

Another Shooting.

Weather.

Sports.

A horrid pattern that makes one question humanity. Senseless acts that change the trajectory of so many lives.

Paola Nunez Linares, a loving wife, daughter, and step-mom, was shot and killed – taken from her family, in an act of road rage – an innocent passenger.

Kyrie Barnes, a 7 year-old boy, was shot and killed – taken from his mother and family by “celebratory gunfire” while playing video games. 

So many lives upended as 11 people were shot while celebrating the 4th of July at ComoFest. Paul Willis (18), Cynthia Santos (22), and Gabriella Navarrete (18) were all victims of this senseless, vile act. 

Do Not Honk in Texas

I’ve told my wife a million times – I’m not honkin’ at anyone here in Texas. I’m moving over when folks are driving crazy. I’m not engaging with anyone on these streets because there are far too many people running around strapped – not only with firearms, but erratic emotions.

It’s really wild to think you can’t even use your horn here in Texas. We use the horn for a variety of reasons but, most importantly, safety. There was a day, honking your horn at someone could mean a variety of things. 

You could give them the two-honks, which is like “hello”. You could give them the brief honk, which is like “I see ya”, or you could give them the full-on, blaring “I need you to realize you’re about to hit me” honk, and all would be well with the world. At most, you’d be told you’re “numero uno”. But not today. You better not honk at someone out in these Texas streets. Chances are, that person is armed. And, as evidenced by recent incidents – they aren’t in an emotional space to handle it.

To Be Clear

Let me be clear – my intention is not to advocate for the confiscation of all firearms. I firmly believe in responsible gun ownership and respect the rights of individuals who adhere to proper protocols. However, we must reckon with the fact that none of the tragedies mentioned above align with the concept of responsible gun ownership. We find ourselves with a grave, devastating problem. And it concerns me that, with each passing day and news cycle, we seem to be growing increasingly desensitized to it all. 

As we witness these repeated acts of violence and tragedy, it becomes easy to slip into a state of indifference or numbness. This constant exposure to distressing news and images, slowly erodes our sensitivities and emotional response. And this creates a perilous detachment from the magnitude of the predicament we find ourselves in.

When we lose touch with the pain and suffering brought on by these events, we risk losing our sense of humanity. As our ability to empathize and take action diminishes, the cycle of violence continues to ravage our communities. All of this perpetuates a dangerous norm where we accept tragedy as an unavoidable part of our existence, rather than striving to prevent it or even attempt to make things better.

From Fixation to Transformation

Our fascination with firearms is terrifying. But, perhaps, what’s more deeply troubling is our unwillingness and/or inability to engage in meaningful dialogue, especially when the influence of social media algorithms pushes us further apart.

I implore you to open your hearts. May we care enough to strive for justice for these grieving families. Let’s care enough to foster safer communities. Communities where children can enjoy playing video games in their homes without the constant fear of losing their lives. Let’s care enough to take action instead of dismissing these tragedies as mere “misfortune” or claiming that “things could be worse.”

While it is true that circumstances could always be worse, it is essential to work towards the possibility of something better. What if we could foster a culture that values human life above all else, where empathy and understanding guide our interactions? What if we could bridge the gaps that divide us, engaging in meaningful conversations that promote unity and mutual respect? Somewhere, deep down, I believe we hold the power to see past that which divides us and into our commonalities. There is far more we have in common than what we’ve been led to believe for so long. 

Because, yes, while it could definitely “be worse” – my goodness…what if we could make it better?

***Prayers of peace, comfort, strength, and love for each of these families as they navigate the trying days ahead.***

 

Weekly With Whitfield- Lessons

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This week marked the 26th Mother’s Day since my mother, Beverly Jan Whitfield, went to be with our father in heaven. It’s hard to wrap my mind around all that transpired in my life since then – all the moments I wished she’d been able to experience in the flesh.

I’m so grateful for my fabulous wife, Kerrie. Not only is she the most wonderful spouse, she’s a rockstar of a mom. And, with that, I’m able to shift my focus from the sadness of my loss to creating a celebratory experience for her. She absolutely amazes me.

It took me a while for me to lean into the pain of missing my mother so dearly. Especially on Mother’s Day. In those early days after her death I tried to push that pain down deep.

If I hid it well enough, no one could see it.

If no one could see it, they’d think I was “tough”.

If folks thought I was tough, they’d see that “I got this”.

Spoiler Alert – this is not a winning formula. In the years after her death I’d find myself wandering aimlessly through life. That journey would lead to monumental crossroads. I had to choose wisely. While I definitely did not choose the wisest of paths at various points along the way, over time, the rooted lessons I learned from my mother began to bloom.

While she was not able to obtain her teaching degree before her passing she was, most definitely, my most impactful teacher. She wasn’t a “told you so” type of parent. She took time to talk to me and break things down. Never the authoritarian, but at the same time, taking zero shenanigans.

Although free time was scarce as she worked seemingly endless hours to put food on the table, every free moment she got she poured into me. Whether it was shooting hoops, throwing the football, watching Pistons or Bulls games, playing the piano, or just simply sitting out on that bench swing in the middle of our rocky, dirt front yard – there was never a question as to who her number one priority was – me. So many lessons. Too much to shove into one blog post. But I’d love to share a bit of what my mother left with me, with you.

Through it all, she was a constant force. These lessons continue to provide counsel to me 26 years later. A mother’s love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. Here’s a bit of the love and lessons she left with me.

Rise

Do not allow your pain and troubles to keep you in the pit of despair. Life is hard, at times. Few find life to be easy, even those who it may seem. Press on. Don’t lie on the floor waiting for the end. Rise and begin, again. Maintain an unwavering focus on the positive aspects of existence, even amid the crumbling edifice of life’s challenges. For beyond the veil of adversity lies the potential for profound growth and remarkable triumph.

Love

Love unreservedly and passionately, even in the face of unrequited affection. Embrace love as an indomitable force, for it holds transformative power beyond measure. Welcome the vast spectrum of humanity, transcending the confines of societal stratification, racial divisions, and other arbitrary labels. Extend warmth and acceptance to all, allowing love and genuine engagement to shape and transform the world around you.

Serve

Cultivate a spirit of service, irrespective of your standing in this world. Recognize that the capacity to serve extends to all, transcending external circumstances. Seek to extend your benevolence not only to those seemingly burdened by adversity, but also to those who exude apparent prosperity. Every individual, at some point, yearns for connection. Place no prerequisite on who you serve. And do not expect reciprocity. But, more often than not, it will come back to you tenfold.

Speak Up

Do not be afraid to engage in relentless struggle! Fight ardently for your convictions, for the well-being of your family, and for the realization of a life befitting their worth. Understand that the path will not always be smooth, and victories will not be absolute, but remember that the war cannot be won unless the battle is waged. Fight with courage, integrity, and conviction!

The Miracle of You

Embrace your authentic self, recognizing that there exists no other being on this planet like you. Within the unique composition of your being lies the potential for extraordinary deeds. However, this potential can only be unleashed through a genuine acceptance of oneself. You are a miracle. Go and do miraculous things!

Family is Number 1

Devote yourself to diligent effort across all realms of existence, not solely confining your labor to the professional sphere. Often, we become consumed by the role our occupations play in our lives. We tirelessly pursue upward mobility. Remember, that role will be filled by someone else tomorrow if you leave today. That is not the case for your family. You fill a role that is irreplaceable. Ensure that you channel your energy and dedication into nurturing your family, fostering their growth and well-being more than anything. Family over everything!

Gratitude

Sing, dance, and express gratitude in all circumstances! Remember that life is ephemeral, a fleeting moment in the grand tapestry of existence. Therefore, consciously choose joy as your guiding companion through the symphony of life. That’s not to say that you should not feel pain. No, pain is a natural state of being in this life. But the key is to not get stuck there. Somewhere, someone wishes they were in your shoes, no matter how challenging you think you have it. Live in gratitude.

Be a Lighthouse

We are all interconnected, although some have yet to embrace this universal truth. Reflect upon those who have regarded us with bewildering gazes in various establishments, as if we were monstrous apparitions. Understand that their limited perception blinds them to the profound beauty that lies beyond the confines of race. Soon, more souls shall awaken to this realization. Do not succumb to ignorance; instead, acknowledge its innate existence within humanity and become a radiant beacon, illuminating the path for others. Let your light shine brightly! It just may be the beacon for someone who needs it.

The Great Beyond

Direct your gaze heavenward! Engage in prayer with earnestness and sincerity. Allow the divine to anchor your being, regardless of the tempestuous storms that assail you. Trust that divine guidance shall accompany each step of your journey, acknowledging that the path may not be easy, yet unequivocally worthwhile. You are living for something greater on the other side.

Forgiveness

In the journey of life, wounds and conflicts are inevitable. However, it is essential for us to be able to forgive. You must learn to release the burden of resentment and grudges that weigh heavy on your heart. By forgiving others and yourself, you free your spirit from the shackles of negativity and create space for healing, growth, and inner peace. Remember, forgiveness is not about condoning or forgetting the hurtful actions, but about choosing compassion and empathy over bitterness and revenge. It is a profound act of strength and a pathway to harmony within oneself and with others. Embracing forgiveness allows you to let go of the past and embrace the beauty and potential of the present moment. Forgiveness frees.

A Mother’s Love

I miss my mother so very much, but I call on her spirit, strength, and the lessons she taught me on a daily basis. I pray that one or more of these points resonated with someone who needed to hear her wisdom.

A mother’s love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe, reaching out into a future she could only dream of.

Dreams come true, Momma.

I love you!