Dr. James Whitfield

family

Echoes

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The holiday season doesn’t always bring with it a picture-perfect scene fresh out of a hallmark movie. For many, this time of year ushers in a complex whirlwind of emotions, juxtaposed against the backdrop of joy and celebration. This week I had the opportunity to rest and celebrate Thanksgiving surrounded by my loving family. I am so very grateful for these moments and definitely count my blessings. 

In the Holiday Spirit – A Mother’s Legacy

But coupled with that joy is a sense of loss, as this time of year was my mother’s favorite time of year. Despite the chaos that surrounded our lives, I saw an extra pep in her step and joy in her spirit. As if she didn’t already work hard enough, she’d pick up extra shifts and engage with various community support organizations to ensure we didn’t go without. Superwoman didn’t have anything on my mother. 

From the time I was about 5 years old, I was done being an only child. I wanted a brother. I don’t know that I really had a preference on brother or sister as a child. Something just welled up in my heart to specifically ask for a brother. 

A Wish Granted

And it was on this day in 1988 that my wish came true. After eating a full Thanksgiving feast at my aunt Shorty’s house, my mom went into labor. Hours later, my baby brother, Michael, was born. I had just turned 10 that summer – I was definitely a BIG brother. 

In an instant, I saw a different spark in my mother’s eyes. After years of living in the grips of chaos, I saw a renewed sense of conviction towards a better life. As the years ticked on I would watch my mother go back to school and pursue her dream of becoming a teacher. She was done scratching and clawing – it was time to step into something greater.

Navigating Adversity and Loss

And then, as quickly as things began to look up, a door was slammed in our face. That door was my mother’s Leukemia diagnosis my sophomore year of high school. Almost 3 years later we’d celebrate our last Christmas together. From hopeful to hellish, in an instant. The holidays would never be the same.

In the often unpredictable cadence of life, we’re presented with seasons of adversity and uncertainty. We see loved ones caught up in battles that strain their spirit. Perhaps, as you read these words, you find your own reflection staring back at you, acknowledging that these struggles hit close to home – maybe even within your own story.

Embracing Support and Overcoming Isolation

The weight of these trials can bring a profound sense of isolation, emptiness, and loneliness. Negative self-talk becomes the unwelcome companion, spinning tales of unworthiness that isolate us further from the warmth of family and friends. Grief grabs our soul with a tight grasp. A shadow of loss, disillusionment, and despondency is cast over our lives.

I’m grateful for so many wonderful people who have provided a kind, thoughtful ear over the course of these moments throughout my life. Never minimizing my feelings. Always providing space to be, feel, and work through it all. The powerful and positive presence of my wife, children, friends, and various family members has helped me see beyond the pain, towards joy and purpose. 

Empathy in Action

For those who may be treading a path lined with adversity, remember, you’re not walking alone. There are empathetic souls willing to lend an ear, devoid of judgment, ready to support you through this tumultuous season.

And for those who observe these battles from the sidelines, I urge you to move beyond the mere acknowledgment of their struggle. 

Reach out and let them know you care. Sometimes, people aren’t necessarily seeking solutions to their plight; they simply crave a listener, someone who notices their struggles without the pressure to fix them. Our ability to give of our time to just be available is one of the greatest gifts we can present.

Consider the profound impact of reaching out to that one person who entered into your thoughts as you read these lines. 

How many lives could we positively influence with a simple act of compassion? 

How many souls could we uplift from the depths of despair?

A Call to Action: Be a Lighthouse

I don’t often leave you with action items to pursue in my reflections, but I have one today. Be a beacon of light for someone when you finish this piece. Extend your hand, lend your ear, and offer a space of refuge. 

In doing so, you may just become the guiding star for someone navigating the turbulent waters of life. And always remember, in this shared journey of humanity, someday, someone might become that guiding light for you. I firmly believe that our ability to love, offer empathy, and extend compassion is a reciprocal process. We giveth and we receive.

Wishing peace, love, comfort, and blessings to you all this holiday season and beyond.

Heroes

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As I walk out of the building, I hear cheers and see dozens of my students with signs of support. It’s the end of yet another long school board meeting where many of their classmates stood up and spoke on my behalf and for each other. It’s a dark, crisp night, it’s getting late and I know this will likely be the last time I get to address this group of students face-to-face. I step to the bullhorn and deliver a brief message of appreciation, love, pride, and support, then head home so we can put my 3rd grade son, Landon, to bed. 

The Kids Are Alright

Before I go further I must note something that many may not have realized about the students who were leading protests and speaking out. Many in the crowd that night have just finished their early action applications to Harvard, Brown, MIT, Stanford, University of Texas Honors Program, and Rice. Most, if not all, of them are taking a full load of AP classes as high school seniors. They are students who have never skipped school a day in their life but quickly informed their parents that they would be walking out of school in protest because they believed so strongly in their cause. After many of them spoke on this night, they were chastised by another speaker saying “they should not get to speak – they don’t pay taxes.” 

On this day two years ago, November 17, 2021, I saw a group of young people who, despite the opposition, found their voice. A group of students who had no time to engage in protests and the likes, made time. Their courage, leadership, and conviction landed them in the headlines of The Washington Post, refusing to be silenced. They represented what so many people feared – an engaged, educated young citizen capable of critical thinking and forming their own conclusions. These young people refused to drink from the fire hydrant of what may have been traditional “community” norms, but rather, questioned it.

Winds of Change

My time had run its course in the district, yet my youngest son was still enrolled there. He’d joined me in the district years prior and it was nice to have him so close to me. I could pop over for lunch when I had a few minutes. He could come over after school and shoot hoops with me before we went home. He loved his teachers, principal, and friends. And we enjoyed our rides to and from school together. 

But at this, things have changed. For the last several months I would drive Landon to school, past my former school, drop him off, then head home where a whirlwind of media were chomping at the bits for their pound of flesh. Thankfully, I’d found a dear friend and PR Strategist throughout this process who helped screen out some of the sharks. But after the meeting on November 17, 2021, it was clear that I had to make the tough decision to withdraw Landon from the district at the Thanksgiving break and enroll him in our home district on the other side. He was sad. His friends and teachers were sad and they made him cool going away presents. We were all sad. But this was just the way it had to be.

Navigating Transitions

As I walk up to enroll Landon for his first day at his new school I’m met with the emotion that most every parent has felt at some point –

Am I doing the right thing?

Surely I could just suck it up and just make the drive, push down the emotional trigger of passing my former place of employment, and make it happen, right?

But through the mixed emotions I enrolled Landon in his new school, which is within walking distance from our house. Over the course of the next several weeks we created a new routine – walk to school, then at the end of the day pick up by the big oak tree, then walk home. We found rhythm and consistency. And, as luck would have it, one of Landon’s former teachers was good friends with one of his new teachers and they were able to discuss his progress. 

Not only was he experiencing a transition academically, but he was watching the world around him unravel. He clung closer and closer to my side. While I tried to shield him from all that was going on and hide the pain, disappointment, and frustration in his presence, he knew something was off. He knows how much his dad loves being a school principal and now dad is no longer doing that. He is now accustomed to cameras and journalists following us to school or setting up in our home. And he is thriving in his new school setting. 

I marveled at his resilience and growth, his capacity to adapt to change and pour out love. On many days where I felt my light begin to dim, he shared some of his with me to brighten the way. And over the course of the rest of the 21-22 school year and 22-23 school year it was much the same. This dude served as such an inspiration to me.

A Whole New World

As August came around, I was nearing the end of my required time outside of public education. But I knew where I would be on the first day of school for the 23-24 school year. I’d obtained my superintendent certification years ago and never thought I’d be using it. But God always has a way of making a way towards those things you once thought unattainable. For this school year I’d begin on the first day of school at a K-12 public charter school as superintendent. 

Look at God.

But now I had a decision to make. With my older two children, Jordan and Lauren, I had the opportunity to serve in a school they attended. I got to coach Jordan as a basketball player (he loved it). When Lauren went into middle school, good ole dad was starting as a first year assistant principal (and you know she loved that). And now an opportunity has presented itself for me to be at school with Landon as a 5th grader, should we choose to transfer him to the school I’m at.

Decisions

For weeks prior we went back and forth. He’d been through so much change over the last few years. Relationships were formed with friends and teachers in his current school. And this was his year to be the big dawg on campus as 5th grade is the final year in that school. With us now being at different schools I definitely couldn’t drop him off in the mornings. Sparingly I’d be able to pick him up from school. I’d still probably get to join him for lunch as much as any other year. But things would be changing, for sure. So many considerations.

I drove to school alone on August 16, 2023. This was to be Landon’s first day of school, as well. His school day was set to start several minutes after mine and we would no longer ride together. With each mile I inched in traffic closer to school my emotions were everywhere, much like the cars that zoomed around each other. We’d been so torn on whether or not I should bring Landon to my school, which promised to be an amazing place, or leave him at his current school that was also amazing.

In an instant, I asked Siri to call my wife, who I knew would be up with Landon, preparing for his first day. As she picked up the phone I said, 

“Honey, don’t send him to school today. I’m gonna bring him with me. What do you think?”

Yes. I know. I went from making a firm decision to asking a question in the same breath. That speaks to where my mind was at. But I just knew in my heart that this was the right move.

She went over to Landon with the phone on speaker and said “Hey bud, what do you think about going to school with Dad this year? Dad wants you to go with him.”

All of a sudden, the phone momentarily went silent. I thought “oh crap. Did I just mess this up? The first day of school is already stressful and now I’ve gone and made it extra stressful.”

Before I got too far along the downward spiral of my thoughts I heard Kerrie’s voice exclaim, “Oh my gosh, he’s smiling so big. Yes. He’s shaking his head, yes.”

The decision was made. Landon would join me at school for 5th grade. Our rides to and from school together would continue. He’d be in a place where he gets to learn in a small setting and enjoy the outdoors afforded at our beautiful, expansive campus.

A Day to Trot

Over the last few months we’ve both gone through transition – him, as a new student in a new space; me, in a new role in a new place. And it has been one heck of a journey navigating the winds of change. 

Today was our annual Turkey Trot at our school. For the last several weeks, students were given the opportunity to sign up by grade level clusters to run in it. The winners of each race received a turkey to take home. Over the course of that time I’ve asked Landon every day if he wanted to run in the race. The dude is a strong, fast runner. But every day, the answer was, “no dad, I’m good.” 

This morning we began as we do most Fridays with our Donuts with Dad at our favorite donut shop. Then, we had a conversation about everything from the upcoming anniversary of the JFK assassination to the conflict in the middle east. As we got to school and entered my office Landon looked at me and said, “Dad, I think I want to do the Turkey Trot”, to which I responded, “then let’s do it!”. Quickly, we went over to the sign up sheet to add his name. 

After adding his name he said, “Dad, if I win the Turkey Trot, I want to give the turkey I win to someone who needs it.”

With my heart beaming with pride I said, “that sounds like a fantastic idea son. I’m sure there is someone who needs it.”

We had a great day today at our school. I was pied in the face by those who won the drawing from our canned food drive. Families feasted on wide food spreads, picnic style, with their children on the grounds. And the races were intense. 

As I watched Landon round the last turn towards the finish line with no one in front of him I couldn’t help but smile. After so much hesitation about even running, he’d not only run the race, but won first place, thus securing that turkey to give away. After a great big hug, he was off to take his picture with the first place sign and a huge turkey in his arms. I could see the happiness in his face – the pride in his stance. He’d won the turkey he set out to win to donate to someone in need.

I stood there watching this young man with so much pride in my heart. To think about where we were two years ago on this very day. So much uncertainty, pain, grief, disappointment, and fear. Then the transitions over the course of the time from then to now. And now, this moment. Only by the grace of God.

Our Young People, Our Heroes

So often, we reserve the title of “hero” for adults or celebrities, but I know better. Heroes are the young folks I’ve described above. Youth who sacrificed so much of their time and energy to stand up for not only me, but their community. They were harassed online and in person, but never buckled under the pressure. They shook up things and made folks aware of what was going on in their community. 

And my son, Landon. He is truly one of my heroes. He inspires me with his courage and resilience. The last couple years have been tough but he mets every challenge, head-on, and conquering them. I’m proud of his huge heart, empathy, and sense of compassion for others. His compassion knows no bounds, a beacon of light in a world that sometimes feels dim. I’m uplifted by his constant encouragement and love. 

Landon. My son. Our little champion. My heart. My hero.

Comfort

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My wife is my comfort. She’s shelter. My peace. My heart. She’s my everything. While I know this to be true every single day, over the course of this very trying week, that comfort, shelter, peace, love – everything, continued to shine through. 

A Life-changing Encounter

It was the end of the spring in 2003 when I first met Kerrie. In an instant, I knew I was in the presence of the woman I would share my life with. And I wasted no time in securing her hand in marriage, as I asked her to marry me on Christmas day that same year. 

As I reflect on the past two decades of our journey together, I find myself overcome with emotions. I have such deep gratitude – so thankful that the Lord brought this incredible woman, who has been a constant source of comfort and strength, into my life. 

Navigating Traumas, Embracing Imperfections, and Building a Joyful Home

We were just two young kids who were trying to find our way, navigating through the echoes of our past traumas. Her soothing, steady presence helped to heal wounds that had festered my whole life. With love and understanding, she embraced my imperfections and vulnerabilities, providing a safe foundation where I could begin to build a future beyond my wildest dreams. Her patience, love, and empathy are the bedrock upon which our love story has unfolded.

Building our family together has been such a magical journey. Her warmth and joy created a home where laughter echoes, love flows, and folks learned how to pick up after themselves…real quick (had to throw that in there, my love ☺️).

The Power of Belief

As I started my career in education, she was my biggest champion. During moments of self-doubt, her unwavering belief in my abilities has fueled my determination and ambition. The way she looks at me makes me feel as though I can do anything. It’s hard to describe what it feels like when someone has that level of belief in you. It’s truly transformative. Her belief and encouragement has always served as the catalyst for my personal and professional growth. 

And if that wasn’t enough, while she was so busy pouring into all of our lives, somehow she found the time and energy to become a world class professional in her industry. She is such an amazing hair stylist. Not only the talent and technical aspects, but in the way she creates space for her wonderful clients. It’s who she is. She works so very hard to take care of people (and animals  – my girl LOVES her some animals). There are no shortcuts in her professional or personal life. She gives her all! She’s such an inspiration! 

I’m so very proud of you, Kerrie! 

My Wife, My Superhero

This week I just found so many moments where I was simply in awe of the woman I’ve been so blessed to grow up with. The woman who has been my confidante, love, dance partner, and my greatest ally for going on two decades. 

It’s hard to imagine where my life would be without her presence. She’s helped me through the challenges of the past, serves as the anchor of my present, and the promise of my future. 

Kerrie Ann, I love you! Thank you for making every moment of my life richer, every challenge surmountable, and every joy more profound. 

Home is in your arms, my love. You are my best friend, my greatest source of comfort, my forever love!

Perserverance

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Throughout life, there are moments that, indeed, take us higher. One such moment – the Texas Rangers securing their first World Series Championship this week. A team that so many counted out, standing alone as the standard for baseball around the world. For the countless fans who have followed this team through thick and thin, drops and whiffs, and everything in-between, this achievement is more than just a sports victory; it’s a testament to the unwavering human spirit and the ties that bind generations. And with this, I can’t help but think about how proud my Ma would be.

Fond Memories with “Ma”

My Grandmother, Mintha Doris Sumner, affectionately known as “Ma”, was an avid sports enthusiast. I can vividly recall the countless hours we spent watching Mavs, Cowboys, and Rangers games together. She was a force to be reckoned with. You couldn’t tell her she was not the coach. She expected nothing less than excellence from the athletes on the screen. The only exception to her unwavering commitment was Dirk Nowitzki, who she adored. Rarely – even when that dude messed up – did she get upset with him. Oh, and Jose Canseco. She LOVED her some Jose Conseco – ball bouncing off his head and all. But I digress…

As I sat in the stands at Globe Life Field on Wednesday evening, I couldn’t help but think about all these moments with Ma. And as the fireworks shot off after the Sborz called 3rd strike, I had a bit of a mist in my eye. I was transported back to Ma’s living room where we watched so many games – all the ups and downs. I was transported to the various dollar hot-dog nights we went to at the old stadium. In the moment, I was reminded that this game was really about so much more. So many core memories. So many lessons that sports teach us.

A Legacy of Strength and Selflessness

When I think about Ma, I find solace in these vivid memories, knowing that her legacy lives on through our lives. It’s a testament to the beautiful story that the Lord painted with her life. A life that was anything but easy. 

Her life was not without challenges, and she faced them with unwavering strength. Losing Grandaddy, the love of her life, shortly after they were supposed to embark on a journey to enjoy the fruits of their hard work was a heart-wrenching blow. Yet, she continued to serve her beloved Itasca community, from volunteering at the church to delivering meals on wheels, always there for those in need.

A decade later, her life took another devastating and unexpected turn when she had to care for my mother, Beverly Jan Whitfield, who was fighting a cancer that proved to be incurable. Ma’s life shifted from the quiet streets of Itasca to the bustling metro of Downtown Houston to be by her daughter’s side every step of the way. Despite her own heartache, she provided love, care, and unwavering support to her daughter, who left this world far too soon.

And then with the loss of my mother, Ma took on the responsibility of guiding me, a 19-year-old on the brink of going off the rails, and raising my younger brother, Michael. All of this happened less than a decade after she and Grandaddy had planned to explore the country together and enjoy their hard-earned retirement. Her life had taken a dramatically different course.

Lessons from Life’s Challenges

Ma’s love was a selfless love, passionately committed to the well-being of others, born not of emotions but of choice. She never judged or condemned me, even when I faltered. Instead, she saw the best in me, believed in me, and offered a safe harbor in the tumultuous seas of the times. I often wonder how different my life would have been without Ma’s presence. That thought frightens me. Ma’s love, her pride in us, and her selfless spirit are the most significant gifts she left behind. They form a legacy that cannot be diminished or lost, ensuring that she continues to live on in our lives.

Celebration – Life and Sport

As I watched the Texas Rangers celebrate becoming World Series Champions, I could feel her presence. I could imagine her jubilation. Their ability to overcome, echoed the spirit of Ma. I’m reminded that that sorts often mimic life, and it’s more than just a game. It’s about enduring and triumphing through the challenges that come our way. Ma’s legacy taught me that, even in the face of adversity, we can lean into love – a love that believes in the best, endures through all trials, and asks for nothing in return.

Ma, we thank you for your humor, compassion, wisdom, patience, and, above all, your unwavering love. Your legacy is a testament to a life well-lived, and we can only imagine the celebration that’s taking place in Heaven. You are our joy, and we rejoice in honoring your memory. Your love continues to live on in each of us, and for that, we are forever grateful. 

Go Rangers!

Weekly With Whitfield – Legacy

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I love my kids. The impact they’ve made on my life can’t be quantified. Daily, I’m reminded of the great privilege it is to be their father. I feel the deep pride that comes with looking at all the great things they’re each doing in the various stages of their lives. There is a profound power that rises up in my soul when I think of the lengths I would go to protect them. My love for them knows no bounds.

With this week encompassing National Daughter’s Day and National Son’s Day, I couldn’t help but scroll through old photos. It’s crazy how technology has changed this aspect of reminiscing for me. Not too long ago, I would’ve been pouring over physical photo albums. Now, I have them on my phone. The process of selecting a handful of photos to share on a Happy National Daughter’s/Son’s Day was quite complex. Years upon years of so many beautiful memories. 

A Precious Stroll Down Memory Lane

During my stroll down memory lane, I came across a picture of my mother holding my oldest son, Jordan. And I sit with this photo, in deep thought, for a good while. Nearly two years before this photo, she’d been diagnosed with Leukemia. From the moment of diagnosis to the time of this picture (July of 1996) she’d undergone several rounds of chemotherapy, a bone marrow transplant at M.D. Anderson in Houston, TX, gone in and out of remission, watched her eldest son (me) graduate high school, and, now, was able to hold her first grandchild.

This would be the only time she ever got to hold him. And it was as if she knew that this would be her final opportunity. My mother was not feeling well, at all, but was able to leave M.D. Anderson and she return to my grandmother’s house in Itasca, TX to celebrate my 18th birthday. My mother was one of the strongest women I’ve ever known, if not the strongest. But Leukemia doesn’t care how strong you are…neither does the chemo…it devours and denies.

And, while that is so true, on this day I saw my mother transcend the pain and absolutely glow as she held this beautiful baby boy in her arms. Most will agree that, rarely, do pictures fully capture the beauty of these moments. But as I look back on this picture it’s about as close to a true reflection as I’ve ever seen. The way she held him. My arm around her. My baby brother, Michael, just over her right shoulder with a bright smile. One would never guess that poison was running through her body. The immense pride in her smile still speaks to me. She was glowing.

Cherish the Day

I remember never wanting that moment to end. I sat by her side the whole time. Although weak from treatment, she did not want to let Jordan go. She held him. And held him. And sang to him. And played the piano for him. And sang to him some more. Soon, it was time to gather in my grandmother’s kitchen for them to sing “Happy Birthday” to me. Time stood still. It seemed like those candles were lit forever. I didn’t want to blow them out. Not for any dramatic symbolism or anything like that. I just didn’t want that moment to end. Eventually, I blew them out. My family did that ceremonial applause. And then we enjoyed the chocolate cake my grandmother had baked and enjoyed the rest of our visit. I’m so very grateful God gave us that day.

A Painful Farewell

Over the next 5 months my mother’s condition would worsen. We spent Christmas down in Houston at my grandmother’s apartment, as she’d refinanced her house to relocate to be with my mother throughout this time. This visit would not be as joyous. My dad, brother, put on our hospital gowns and face coverings and entered my mother’s room. She lay there, resting, her eyes closed, as they’d given her medication to ease the pain. As we approached, her eyes slowly began to open. While I fully knew the pain she was in, I still felt as though she was going to jump out of the bed. 

But this is not the movies – that didn’t happen. Instead, she slowly began to try to nudge her way up in her bed to sit up. She was alert and coherent, and that made me smile. I grabbed her frail hand and just sat by her side. We talked and tried to sing a few Christmas carols, as Christmas was my mother’s favorite time of the year. Through the pain, she smiled and even cracked a few jokes. The prognosis was looking worse than it had before, but I didn’t want to believe it. 

Heartbroken

I can’t describe the feeling that came over me when I left that hospital room that December evening. My mom, Beverly Jan Whitfield, turned 40 on December 30, 1996. Then on January 17, 1997, she passed from this earth. To this day, I remember, vividly, each detail of that day. My whole world flipped upside down. I lost my best friend, my everything, on that day. And it would take me years to see past the anger and pain and towards the possibility of brighter days.

Over time it started to hit me, just how lucky I was to have her as an example of how a parent should love their kids. As I sit here at 45 years old – a whole 5 years older than my mother was when she passed away – I’m reminded of just how strong my mother was in those final years and in that final Christmas with my brother and I. To look out into your children’s eyes and love them so deeply, yet know that you will likely miss all the key moments of their lives. While I know my mother knew she’d be with her Heavenly Father when she left this earth, I also know that she was a human and that must have caused such pain deep in her soul. But she never let it show. I cannot begin to imagine such pain.

An Enduring Legacy

The journey from then to now has been quite an adventure. And that adventure has included the three amazing young people I’m so proud to call my own. It’s hard to imagine what life would be like without each of their unique presence in my life. I praise God for each day I get to be with them. I know, all too well, that every single day is a special gift and I do my best to cherish it. Not a day passes that I don’t think about my mother and what life would be like with her physical presence.

But her powerful presence lives within me. She nudges me in moments of uncertainty or fear. I can feel her pride when I accomplish something I set out to do. Her strength props me up when I’m faced with things that seem impossible. I feel her in moments of joy. She is my ultimate guide along this journey of parenthood, as she left such an amazing blueprint. Throughout the days of my life I commit to building upon the legacy my beloved mother left us.

Weekly With Whitfield – Unscripted

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As the days of 2023 dwindle down, only 16 weeks remain in this calendar year. To those who have faithfully followed my weekly reflections, thank you for being a part of this introspective journey. For those joining for the first time, a warm welcome. Regardless of where you stand, know that your presence is valued, and I’m genuinely delighted that you’re here. My wish is that this year has unfolded just as you’d hoped it would.

The Weekly Reflection Challenge

Writing this weekly blog has brought with it a unique and beautiful challenge. I have always been a deeply reflective person. But I cannot think of a time in my life where I dedicated time at the end of each week to reflect on what that time had presented me. There have been many weeks where I’ve struggled to find a word that truly captured my thoughts and feelings. But, every time, God laid something on my heart to share.

This journey has been an unscripted one. But such is life. I have no earthly idea what I’m going to write about at the beginning of each week. I won’t lie, early on, I tried to force it. But it never fit. The things I felt I needed to talk about or wanted to talk about never seemed to be what I actually wrote about, in the end. And this has made the journey more genuine, authentic, and therapeutic for me.

Unscripted Lessons

Life’s unscripted moments often hold the most profound lessons. While plans have their place, they can sometimes pale in comparison to the grand design that the universe, or in my case, God, has in store for us. We may attempt to force our personal narratives into the script, but more often than not, they fail to fit. Life’s greatest surprises, blessings, and revelations emerge when we relinquish control and embrace the unscripted. 

Reflecting on these past weeks, I am reminded that the most impactful adventures often arise when we surrender the pen that drafts our life’s script. I’ve gazed up in awe at the grace, mercy, and provision that God has bestowed upon me.

An Unforeseen Journey

This past holiday weekend I had the opportunity to visit Seaside, Florida with my family and good friends. This trip was not something we planned, but a generous opportunity was extended by some good friends. Completely unforeseen, all of a sudden, we were loading up the Expedition, headed to the Florida panhandle. 

Though brief in duration, those three days were filled with unforgettable moments, too numerous to recount in this humble blog post. What we lacked in time, we made up for in moments.

Finding Joy Amidst the Challenges

The trip was an absolute blast, not because everything unfolded perfectly – quite the contrary. We encountered our fair share of unexpected challenges, from navigating a busted golf cart in the dark to a tangle with jellyfish, and even a near mishap with a stop sign. Yet, in these seemingly exasperating moments, we found joy in these “you’ve gotta be kidding me” moments that popped up. 

This trip served as a vivid reminder of the beauty inherent in an unscripted life. Had I known about the golf cart’s sudden breakdown on our way to dinner, I might have opted for the car and missed out on the deep belly laughs and crazy commentary that filled that peculiar ride. There’s so much more to share, but some experiences defy adequate description – you truly had to be there. What I can attest to is that, despite the chaos, it was so much fun!

Navigating the Unchartered Waters of Life

As I reflect on the past week and the broader journey of my life, I’m so grateful that I’ve not held the script in my own hands. Many of the trying moments, pains, and frustrations I’ve endured would likely have been edited out in a quest to construct a “perfect” life. In doing so, I might have overlooked the remarkable treasures hidden just beyond the curtain of despair.

I don’t possess all the answers, and I’m content with that uncertainty. My path is one of faith, a willingness to embrace challenges, and an unwavering commitment to celebrating the moments of joy that grace my journey. I will continue to navigate the uncharted territory of this unscripted life, knowing that it is in these unanticipated moments where the true essence of existence thrives. And I hope you will, too.

Weekly With Whitfield – Transition

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As we make our way from one space to the next over the course of our lives, there are always a transition periods. During those moments of transition, all too often, there’s a great swirl of emotions that churn within us. And the way we navigate those emotions is critical to the outcomes those transitional moments bring.

The Challenge of Change 

Change can be challenging. Learning new things presents new and unique opportunities. Getting to know the new faces takes a lot of energy and intentional focus. Transitioning from that which you were very familiar with to something new presents you with daily moments of learning, application, and reflection. 

And these are all wonderful things! I firmly believe that it is in these moments throughout the course of our lives that we grow the most. Comfort and familiarity seems all well and good. But it is during these transitional periods that we really find out what we’re made of.

Unexpected Transitions

Roughly two years ago I began a transition that I never anticipated. In a matter of days, my entire life was flipped upside down. All of a sudden, I was thrust into the national spotlight answering calls from The New York Times, NBC, The Washington Post, and the likes.

In an instant, I went from someone who was very “don’t make the 6 o’clock news” to “let’s use the news to highlight what’s happening here and bring awareness” – something I was unfamiliar with and, if I’m honest, rather uncomfortable with. But, seeing as though I grew up in an environment where I was forced to fight through various things that came my way, I knew only one course of action…TO FIGHT.

As I transitioned to a new world of media engagements and advocacy I felt discombobulated. This space looked and felt quite different than showing up at school each day surrounded by the staff and students I adored. I felt empty and alone. I felt disconnected and depressed. This transition was not something I’d planned for, nor desired, yet here I was.

Embrace the Unknown

Over time I would find my footing. What helped the most was looking into the eyes of the people who love me most, my family. Over time I would come to reframe the situation. This transition would not be something happening to me. Rather, I would turn this on its head and take what was meant for my detriment into something positive for my family and the greater global community. 

I put my head down and started on projects I’d once considered, but never did. One of those projects was writing a book and, boy, do I have a doozy in the works to shine a light on what so many educators across the country are facing. I won’t share too much now but I can’t wait until it’s time to send that out into the world. 

Family Support

Most importantly, though, I looked at this as an opportunity to be there for my family in a way that I’d never been able to over the course of my career. Those who know me, know – I only know one way to be a teacher/coach/administer – and that’s FULL FORCE! I give my all to every school I’ve had the pleasure of serving. And, while I have the most amazing and understanding family support system, I know that, oftentimes, they took what was left of me after many of those long, challenging days serving in public schools.

Personal Growth

Slowly, I got out of bed a bit quicker, I calmed my bitterness and frustration, and I leaned into being ON for my family. That’s not to say that disappointment, frustration, bitterness, and anger did not rear their ugly heads over time. They did. If I told you the amount of times I heard people say I’d never work in public education in the metroplex again. If I heard it once, I heard it a hundred times. And I’m talking from folks in pretty high-up places in various districts across the DFW. And every time it had nothing to do with who I was. No, that was intact, well known, and even desired by many of these people. Yet the lack of intestinal fortitude kept many from taking a leap of faith for fear of a small group of hateful, bigoted, intolerant people. It’s been both an eye-opening and disappointing realization that some who claim to be in this work for kids and educators are really more interested in political positioning and harmful games.

Overcoming Adversity

But I would not let this consume me. In reality, I dodged a bullet with those who were afraid of the “bogeyman backlash”, as I sure did not want to end up in a situation where I was serving for a leader who lacked courage, integrity, and conviction. So I embraced the transition and chose to make the most of the challenges presented to me. I poured into my family, advocacy work that took me to the halls of Congress, and partnering with educators, higher education institutions and other organizations across the country. When you’re from where I’m from you’ve learned to make magic out of mess. 

New Beginnings

A few weeks ago, I turned the page on that chapter of life – a chapter that has been more like an entire crazy book. And now I’ve transitioned to a new, beautiful chapter… back in a beautiful school, doing what I love. This transition comes with a new role, a role that entails leading a small, but mighty, district made up of roughly 400 students K-12. It’s such a special place – the acres of tall, big trees, the winding creek, and, most importantly, THE PEOPLE. Everyone has been so warm and welcoming. They’ve made this transition smoother than I ever could’ve imagined. I’m forever grateful that God made this possible. What some meant for harm, He turned to good. 

So as you make the twists and turns of the various transition points in life, give yourself the grace to feel, learn, and grow. As tough as the terrain may be at the moment, always know that you don’t have to walk that rocky road alone. Be still and reflect on ways to reframe and reload to propel yourself forward towards brighter days. I’m rooting for you in all your days ahead.

Weekly With Whitfield – Conflicted

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This week has been filled with conflicting emotions. Generally, it’s been positive and productive. But I’d be lying if I told you positivity stayed throughout the week. Thankfully, joy has outweighed pain, but as I searched for what to write about today I’ve been very, very conflicted.

Family Pool Days

We had the chance to have a backyard full of friends and family this past Sunday afternoon. I spent the day sweltering over the grill in the 100 plus degree Texas heat. But, man, was it worth it. In the hustle and bustle of daily life it is hard to nail down the whole extended family but, on this day, we did. Through my sweat-stinging eyes, I looked around that backyard and just took it in. I didn’t even get any pictures, that’s how tuned in I was. Like so many things of beauty, the image captured in real life – in the moment – is so much more powerful than any picture. The pictures simply don’t do it justice. My heart was filled with so much pride, joy, and contentment. 

Processing Loss

We are still reeling over the loss of our dear friend, Kim. Over the course of the last two weeks we’ve cycled through the stages of grief many times. While our faith is very strong, our human nature still kicks in from time to time. We try to make sense of something so tragic – something we’ll never be able to do. Then, we have moments of remembrance and joy that seem to push back the pain. And, soon thereafter, moments of anger well up in our souls. To anyone out there experiencing such loss, I hope you know that whatever you’re feeling is completely normal. Don’t beat yourself up as you navigate the emotions that come with these tragedies that crop up in your life. Allow yourself to feel in order to heal.

Ahead to New Beginnings

I can see light at the end of the tunnel. While we’re still engaged in a form of litigation, one chapter of that sage comes to a close next Tuesday. While the last couple years have been some of the hardest in my life, I am still encouraged by the road ahead. I am so grateful for all the love, support, and encouragement that so many people extended our family throughout this time. I’ll never forget your kindness. My faith tells me that this road has prepared me for something far greater than I could ever imagine – such has been the case for my entire life. I’m excited to see what God’s hands will lay out for our family in the days to come. And I vow to give my very best to glorify His name through it all.

Wedding Bells

I get to officiate my first wedding this weekend in beautiful Cancun, Mexico.

That’s right, your boy is officially an ordained minister.

I’m so honored that my sister-in-law, my wife’s twin sister, Sandy, and her fiancé, Ricardo, have asked me to be part of their special day in such a way. My heart is so happy that they have found each other. 

Sandy is so much more than an “in-law” to me – she is the sister I never had and I love her dearly. To witness her pure joy and happiness means the world to me. As she will attest, I am very protective of her. She is a phenomenal human and deserves nothing but the very best in life. And, in Ricardo, I can see that she has found that. 

The same goes to Ricardo – he is such a wonderful human with a heart of gold, deserving of the very best in life. And, with Sandy, he’s found that. I’m so excited for them to begin this journey together. 

Rollercoaster of Life

Y’all, isn’t that real life? It’s never really in a straight line. Each day can carry its own unique opportunities and feelings. But I think it is key for us to remember to stand in each of those moments, granting us the space to simply be. So, while this week has been a bit more conflicting than normal…such is life. Understand that life brings with it conflicting emotions and contradictions, but you were made for these moments. We’re not guaranteed that this thing will be smooth and scripted. And, quite honestly, I’m glad…because that would be a pretty boring existence. Feel the pain, but don’t get stuck in it. Embrace the joy and don’t be afraid to share it with others. Love yourself and grant yourself the grace to be.