Dr. James Whitfield

reframe

Adaptability

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The water rushes in, pushing up through the asphalt and out onto the front lawn of one of our buildings.

Our nearby creek rapidly fills as the water crashes over the banks, onto the stone wall below, and into the once calm flowing waters. The water climbs at an alarming rate, and I fear the worst – our building is going to flood. And the road that is impacted is a main thoroughfare between the two sides of our expansive campus.

Standing on the road above the rushing water, I connect with emergency services, who quickly dispatch a police officer to close off the road. A water main had burst and, within the hour, city services were out to attempt to slow the flow of water.

A Test of Flexibility

It’s just before dismissal, and nothing about normal operating procedures will be in play. In a moment’s notice, everything has flipped upside down, and we have to just figure it out.

I’ll spare you the logistical gymnastics that our staff, students, and families had to navigate from last Friday evening until Wednesday afternoon of this past week; but anyone who has ever been through, or worked, a car rider line at a school knows how critical routines and procedures are to this process. This promised to be a test of our flexibility. And we passed that test with flying colors, as a community.

Our Response Matters

This event is symbolic of so many of life’s chaotic moments. Throughout our life, we are faced with various challenges. Some greater than others, but challenges, nonetheless. And what I’ve found to be true through these moments is that it is our response that makes all the difference in the world. Challenges don’t care about our schedules or plans; they arrive unannounced, demanding our full attention. Yet, it’s not the challenge itself that defines us; it’s our response.

When these events arise, we’re on stage. People may be looking to us to gauge how they should feel or respond. I know that may sound strange, but it’s true. Think of it this way:

A toddler falls and scrapes their knee on the playground. Immediately, they look to their parent or caregiver and begin to gauge “ok, how bad is this?” If the parent/caregiver jumps up and screams bloody murder, the kid begins to scream. If the parent/caregiver remains cool, calm, and collected, chances are, the child mimicked that very behavior. They’re watching to see how we respond.

Leadership in Crisis

It’s much the same in society. When these events play out, people are watching to see how we respond. Are we losing our ever-loving mind, wandering aimlessly? Or are we cool, calm, and collected, managing the crisis? These moments stand as a test of leadership. The response to chaos and/or conflict sends a resounding message to those who look to us for guidance.

And, many times, that is within our own homes. Kids mimicking our behavior. They hang on to every word. Even though it doesn’t seem like it most of the time, they are listening and watching how we respond. In doing so, they are capturing deep, impactful lessons on how to deal with chaos, disagreement, and conflict. And They will carry these lessons forward as they navigate the days ahead.

So, as we’re met with these moments, we must capitalize on the teachable moments they bring both in our homes and in society as a whole.

There’s Power in the Pause 

Take time to pause when met with the moment. So often we’re quick to rush into panic mode, and rarely does that serve us well. Instead, give yourself a moment to take a deep breath, collect yourself, and reflect. You’ll find a deeper sense of clarity as to how to proceed.

Communication is Key

The way you communicate in these moments is key. Clear, calm, and consistent communication helps create a sense of serenity. Even if you don’t have all the answers, communicate that. People will appreciate the vulnerability you’ve shown by addressing the fact that you don’t have it all figured out. The worst thing you can do is pretend you do, or share information too early that may be counter to the realities that may lie ahead. Share what you know. Acknowledge what you don’t know. And assure them that, as soon as you do know, you’ll let them know. Then communicate when you do. Most every time I’ve seen things go off the rails, whether in moments of chaos or not, it comes down to communication gaps. Never underestimate the powerful role communication plays. Additionally, remember that communication is not only about what we say; it’s our body language and tone, as well. 

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

In these moments, it’s critical to rally the troops. You cannot get through these times of chaos alone. It takes a concerted team effort to successfully navigate these times. Lean on your people. Collaborate with them to find viable solutions. Empower them to lead in their respective spaces. And trust them to perform. Collaboration is key to successfully navigating the turbulence. Your team will come out stronger on the other side.

Smile

Don’t be afraid to smile. Sure, this may be a crazy challenge before you, but your ability to smile through it will reverberate through the community you serve. Remember, communication has a great deal to do with body language and a smile…well…it’s really hard to not smile back at someone who is smiling at you. So, while the winds may have shifted, and this moment may be tough, our ability to smile through it helps strengthen our resolve.

Reflection

The challenges that crop up along our journey can be unrelenting and paralyzing at times. While this is, in no way, an exhaustive list of the skills and mindset required to navigate these scenarios effectively, they have been elements that have helped me on my journey. And it is my hope that possibly, in some small way, they may help you. As we round out the week I’d like to challenge you to reflect on the latest “water main break” in your life. Ask yourself:

What did the people who count on me see from me through that challenge?

How did I communicate?

What did I do well?

What could I have done better?

Reflection is key to growth. And if we’re honest with ourselves in answering those questions, growth will come.

I am so grateful you’ve joined me on this journey throughout 2023. Thanks for being here.

Gratitude

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I’ve thought a lot this week about how fortunate I am to be here. At this stage of life I find myself reflecting more and more on the graces I’ve been afforded, and just how much of a miracle it is that I’m even here to write these words. I’m filled with gratitude.

Upbringing

I grew up in Midland, Texas. No stranger to tumbleweeds, dust storms, and tornado warnings that never seemed to materialize. I was also no stranger to all the nefarious elements that come with being a pivotal point along a main thoroughfare for illicit drugs heading to the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. It was a wildly chaotic childhood and hard to imagine when, where, or how life could be better.

Movin’ on Up

When I was heading into middle school I learned my family was moving to another house, two streets over. The house we lived in was crumbling, we were behind on our rent, and it was just past time for us to leave. This place held pain, toxicity, and nightmares. My mother told me we were moving from this house at the “T” of Comanche and Eisenhower to “a house on the corner on Kiowa Drive.” I was excited to hear of this new place. 

Armed with this notice, I rode my bike over to Kiowa. I knew there weren’t many neighborhood kids over there – most all of us were strewn up and down Comanche – and I had to see what was going on over there. I remember seeing a house on the corner – an off white, brick house with a couple of nice trees in the front yard. “We hit the jackpot, I thought” If this house looks anything on the inside like it does on the outside, we’re movin’ on up! 

I quickly rode home, threw my bike down in the yard, and hurried inside to ask my mom “mom, you said ‘house on the’ corner, right?”

“Yes”, she plainly responded. 

I shouted “YES” and gave my mom a great big hug. She reciprocated but I could tell she was a bit thrown off by my excitement over this new place. Upon the move, I would understand why.

The Move

As we rounded the corner of Eisenhower onto Kiowa drive, I looked out in the distance to that house on the corner on the south side of the street. I was locked in. As we got closer I could feel it. I tried to envision the layout and how it would feel as I walked in. My imagination didn’t get to run wild for long, as the truck came to a stop on the north side of the street, just the other side of a large pasture. I looked out the window to the house we’d pulled up to. A salmon colored, frame house that looked to be on its last leg thinking “what’s this?”

The truck was thrust into park and everyone got out. I thought ‘ok, maybe we’re just parking here but we’re really taking stuff over there (to the white brick house). Nope, that would not be the case. This place, with a dirt front yard, seemingly one step from being condemned, would be the house we called home for the entirety of the rest of my life in Midland, TX.

A Heartbreaking Revelation

I’ll spare you the details of what that house held as surprises when we got inside. There’s far too much to describe here. I was devastated. For the better part of the last week, with pride, I’d shown my friends the house I thought I’d be moving to. It wasn’t so much a “brag” as it was “can you believe this?” type deal. I was excited to finally not be embarrassed to have friends over to my house. And they were so excited for me. And all of that was crushed as I entered my new house and saw what awaited. 

I found out later that we’d been evicted from the other house and this was the best we could find that would allow us to remain in the area, where I wouldn’t have to change schools. 

Two Houses, Two Worlds

I never stepped foot in the white brick house, but I can still envision the thoughts I had as we turned up that road towards it. As I look back on it, the house wasn’t anything super-special. But from my limited understanding of what could be, that place was a mansion. 

I have a blueprint of that old salmon colored house, with all the chaos it embodied, imprinted in my brain. That place represented so much of what I never wish for anyone to endure at any point in their life. 

I’ve never forgotten either of those houses. Those two places, a stones throw apart, represented an interesting dichotomy of life for me at an early age. It was so wild to have something I deeply desired squarely within view, but completely unable to attain. Within reach, but so far away. 

I knew how I didn’t want to live. And what I hoped for in the future, despite not having a clue as to how I’d make that dream a reality. 

Beyond the Brick and Mortar: A Journey of Hope, Guidance, and Gratitude

Yes, I’m in that brick home now. But it’s really about something much deeper than the material building that was so important to me as a child. It was the hope of something different, more hopeful and brighter, that the house symbolized for me. Along my journey, I’ve been blessed to have so many amazing people, guiding me towards a more hopeful, brighter place in life. 

From several coaches and teachers, to the random kindness of strangers, to colleagues, students, and families, to my loving family – I consider myself so fortunate. While the road has been marred with plenty of pain, chaos, and trauma, there’s also been moments of joy, clarity, and comfort. I think, to varying degrees, that’s the case for most of us. 

We’re all faced with disappointment, discontent, and hopelessness at some point along the plot line of our lives. And then, somewhere along the way, we’re given a glimpse of hope. A glimpse of what could be, and a sense of purpose, pushing us forward. 

I encourage you to continue to look for that hope and purpose in the midst of your trials. It may not be the brick house on the corner you thought was yours. You may be stuck in the chaos and pain of the moment. It seems unending and out of control. But never let your current circumstances limit your future possibilities. Trust that this season is preparing you for something greater than you ever imagined.

Weekly With Whitfield – Reframe

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It’s wild how swiftly time has flown, bringing us to the month of June, 2023. When I embarked on this introspective journey at the beginning of the year, I couldn’t have predicted the path it would take. While the idea of starting a weekly blog intrigued me, I was well aware of the challenge of maintaining consistency week after week. To those who have joined me on this adventure, I want to express my deepest gratitude. Your feedback, words of encouragement, and active participation have played a vital role in keeping me motivated and pushing me forward.

For those who have been accompanying me over the past couple of years, you know that it has been an extraordinary journey. I’ve faced unwarranted criticism from individuals who don’t truly know me, but I’ve also received recognition and praise from organizations that share my passion for youth and education. Some days, I’ve struggled to find the strength to get out of bed, while other days, the presence of remarkable individuals in my life has ignited inspiration within me.

Throughout this journey, I’ve found solace in moments of quiet contemplation. Additionally, I’ve been uplifted and motivated by a select few, including my beloved wife, who have stood unwaveringly by my side through every twist and turn. Along the way, I’ve learned valuable lessons and had my existing beliefs reaffirmed.

These past years have presented me with a conundrum. At times, bitterness, disgust, and anger have consumed me. Yet, in other moments, I’ve felt immense gratitude, encouragement, and motivation. It has been a whirlwind of emotions, but I have no doubt that God is paving the way for greater things.

The ability to overcome adversity is deeply influenced by our capacity to reframe. In the face of significant changes in my day-to-day life, I refuse to abandon my purpose. Let me be clear—it’s not an easy feat. It demands intentional effort and unwavering focus. But it’s undeniably worth it. Never underestimate the transformative power of reframing.

When we engage in the practice of reframing, we empower ourselves to find strength and meaning in the face of great odds. Its power creates space for us to challenge limiting beliefs and reevaluate our circumstances through a more optimistic lens. It lifts us from victimhood to empowerment, recognizing that we have the ability to shape our own narratives. By consciously choosing to reframe, we gain control and agency over our lives. Back in the driver’s seat, we are able to find hidden opportunities, cultivate gratitude for what we have, and focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. 

So, while it may be tempting to dwell on grievances and anxieties from the past couple of years, I choose not to do so. Instead, I will reframe my perspective and focus on the fact that, despite all the challenges, I still stand tall. I am immensely grateful for the support of good friends, advocates, and my incredible family. In every line of my song, there they stand beside me. I consider myself extremely fortunate.

My wish for you is that you embrace whatever discomfort comes your way. Reframe those unique challenges that cross your path and rewrite the script, transforming them into beautiful opportunities. Believe in your ability to do so, because you can.

Weekly With Whitfield – Hope

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I find myself enthralled in wonder more these days. Since starting this weekly reflective blog in January it’s sparked a deeper sense of wonder. I’ve found myself more dialed-in on things that would typically be the most miniscule. I’ve learned and grown along this introspective journey. 

This is week 11 of 52 of 2023. If this is your first visit to the blog, I’m glad you’re here. I encourage you to scroll back through the weeks that came before to see what’s been going on. It’s been quite an adventure. If I’m honest, there have been weeks where I’ve found it quite difficult to nail down a particular word that’s different or more unique than the one before. But here we are. Thanks for following along. Your feedback, reflections, and support mean more than you’ll ever know.

Now, to the word that resonated most with me this week – HOPE

Disappointment

Dang, James, I thought we were talking about HOPE, then you throw out “DISAPPOINTMENT”?

I hear you. Roll with me…

Over the last couple years my thoughts have been all over the place with regard to what a future in the education space would look like. While I haven’t been able to work for another Texas public school district (until August 16, 2023 under current settlement agreement) I’ve been approached for several roles with a number of education adjacent non-profits.

Without fail, when it comes time to sign on the dotted line it’s been the same old song:

“Let’s just wait til things cool down, politically.”

“We’d love to bring you on right now, but we’re afraid of the political consequences.”

“Actually, we’ve thought about it and you’re way overqualified for this role. You’d get bored with this.” 

“We can bring you on…you just need to (insert statement of sacrificing my authentic self and who I’ve been as an educational leader over the last decade).”

There have even been organizations who’ve gone out of their way to say they’d create a role just to bring me on board. But when it came down to it – radio silence. Message received.

This, coupled with the mounting legal expense of ongoing litigation has been a downright exhaustive process. I’ve had moments of anger, disgust, angst, depression, and frustration. There have been days where I did not want to get out of bed. There have been days where I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone outside of my home. No response to any calls or texts. Just alone with my thoughts and my keyboard. Writing has been such a very therapeutic tool during this time.

This hasn’t been the first moment of despair throughout the course of my life – and I know it won’t be the last. Actually, I feel like my journey to this point has been somewhat of a training ground for when these moments arise. My mother always told me “son, no matter how bad things seem, they could always be worse. Similarly, no matter how good things seem to be going, they can change in a heartbeat. Don’t allow yourself to get too high or too low based on life’s circumstances. Be present in the moment. Live!” These words have been etched in my heart and carried me through the fire.

While I can’t openly share yet what I’ll be up to in August, I’m pretty excited! Believe me, when I can share, I will. For now, I’ll just say that what I learned early this week gave me a great sense of hope! There is light at the end of the tunnel! In due time I will be back to living out my purpose of partnering with educators and families to create excellent, dynamic, nurturing, and equitable learning environments for youth. 

Disappointment has been a steady resident in my mind. It takes up space in my soul. I felt it’s sharp sting. But through it I’ve learned so much. Though it has been challenging, I refuse to discount its place in my growth. Through the lessons learned in the most disappointing of situations I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by true friends and an amazing family. They helped me reframe these disappointments and point me towards hope for a brighter future.

The Playground

Under a bright blue sky kids bounced across the landscape. If you haven’t been to Grand Prairie’s PlayGrand Adventures, I’d highly recommend it. It’s phenomenal and very intentionally built to be inclusive of all children. Kids and families everywhere, as far as the eyes could see. There is so much for us to learn from kids at play.

My 10 year old, Landon, is a live wire when it comes to playgrounds. The dude is everywhere – jumpin’, runnin’, climbin’ things he probably shouldn’t be climbin’, swingin’, and slidin’. He gets it honest. I still have a hard time not partaking in the fun of a playground that I’m far too big for, so I just followed him around the park and observed.

Various structures with a wide degree of complexity lay intentionally placed across the area. And there was a beautiful display of diversity around the park. This space serves as a microcosm of our society. A great sense of hope welled up inside as I watched children from different backgrounds, cultures, and experiences come together and, despite their differences, find common ground in play. They work together, communicate, and respect each other’s differences. Lessons that we, as adults, can learn from to create a world where everyone is included and valued.

I find hope in the empathy on display. On this playground, I watched children recognize and respond to the emotions of their playmates. They helped each other up when one fell down. They looked out for the person below them, so as to not crush the hands of those below them. And, as the swings were limited to only a handful, no one sat and bogarted the swings. They acknowledged that others were waiting and made their way to the next thing so someone else could feel the wind rush against their face. 

As adults, we should cultivate this same empathy to create a more compassionate world. We need to listen to each other, seek to understand each other’s experiences, and work to create a world where everyone can thrive. We tend to do these things when crises arise, but what if we did it each day as we co-exist on the playgrounds of life?

No one was concerned about the nature of each other’s politics. There was no swing-side discussion on where one went to church, or if they attended church at all. No boundary lines were drawn with regard to who could play on this structure or that – or who was not allowed to play at all. They just found common humanity in playing.

These kids were not all carbon copies, cut from the same social strata, gender, race, or any other factor, but they found a way to make it work – to co-exist for a wonderful shared experience. Their free, loving, compassionate spirits gave me hope for brighter tomorrows. I hope they never forget those playground experiences. And I hope we, as the adults in their lives, can find a way to tap back into the times that we were those kids who found ways to co-exist without all being the same. 

Hope as a Tool

Hope is a powerful force. It has the capacity to help us navigate life’s ups and downs. It provides optimism in the face of great challenges. Hope pushes us forward when we feel like giving in. But hope, alone, is not a strategy for overcoming obstacles. Hope cannot be a passive state. It is critical that we take action and have a plan for what we hope to achieve and become.

Through it all, a sense of hope has existed deep down in my soul. With every shaky excuse given by an organization as to why they couldn’t move forward. Every time I was ghosted by an organization I thought was an ally. Each thought of the tens of thousands of dollars in mounting legal fees. I remained hopeful that the right organization would come along and that God would provide as it relates to covering legal financial obligations. And I remained focused on the actions I must take to move forward.

While much remains to be seen as it relates to how litigation and the next step in my career will play out, I’m hopeful. As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” Hope allows us to persevere in the face of adversity and remain steadfast in our pursuit of our dreams.

As you set out on the days ahead I pray you will hold fast to hope. Remember that it’s not just an emotion, but a force that can transform fear into courage, doubt into faith, and despair into optimism. It is the bridge that connects the present with the future, reminding us that tomorrow can be brighter than today. Embrace hope’s place in your life as a tool to unlock doors to new opportunities, new beginnings, and a new life. I have high hopes for you!