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transformation

Weekly With Whitfield – Hope

March 17, 2023 by drwhitfield 5 Comments

I find myself enthralled in wonder more these days. Since starting this weekly reflective blog in January it’s sparked a deeper sense of wonder. I’ve found myself more dialed-in on things that would typically be the most miniscule. I’ve learned and grown along this introspective journey. 

This is week 11 of 52 of 2023. If this is your first visit to the blog, I’m glad you’re here. I encourage you to scroll back through the weeks that came before to see what’s been going on. It’s been quite an adventure. If I’m honest, there have been weeks where I’ve found it quite difficult to nail down a particular word that’s different or more unique than the one before. But here we are. Thanks for following along. Your feedback, reflections, and support mean more than you’ll ever know.

Now, to the word that resonated most with me this week – HOPE

Disappointment

Dang, James, I thought we were talking about HOPE, then you throw out “DISAPPOINTMENT”?

I hear you. Roll with me…

Over the last couple years my thoughts have been all over the place with regard to what a future in the education space would look like. While I haven’t been able to work for another Texas public school district (until August 16, 2023 under current settlement agreement) I’ve been approached for several roles with a number of education adjacent non-profits.

Without fail, when it comes time to sign on the dotted line it’s been the same old song:

“Let’s just wait til things cool down, politically.”

“We’d love to bring you on right now, but we’re afraid of the political consequences.”

“Actually, we’ve thought about it and you’re way overqualified for this role. You’d get bored with this.” 

“We can bring you on…you just need to (insert statement of sacrificing my authentic self and who I’ve been as an educational leader over the last decade).”

There have even been organizations who’ve gone out of their way to say they’d create a role just to bring me on board. But when it came down to it – radio silence. Message received.

This, coupled with the mounting legal expense of ongoing litigation has been a downright exhaustive process. I’ve had moments of anger, disgust, angst, depression, and frustration. There have been days where I did not want to get out of bed. There have been days where I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone outside of my home. No response to any calls or texts. Just alone with my thoughts and my keyboard. Writing has been such a very therapeutic tool during this time.

This hasn’t been the first moment of despair throughout the course of my life – and I know it won’t be the last. Actually, I feel like my journey to this point has been somewhat of a training ground for when these moments arise. My mother always told me “son, no matter how bad things seem, they could always be worse. Similarly, no matter how good things seem to be going, they can change in a heartbeat. Don’t allow yourself to get too high or too low based on life’s circumstances. Be present in the moment. Live!” These words have been etched in my heart and carried me through the fire.

While I can’t openly share yet what I’ll be up to in August, I’m pretty excited! Believe me, when I can share, I will. For now, I’ll just say that what I learned early this week gave me a great sense of hope! There is light at the end of the tunnel! In due time I will be back to living out my purpose of partnering with educators and families to create excellent, dynamic, nurturing, and equitable learning environments for youth. 

Disappointment has been a steady resident in my mind. It takes up space in my soul. I felt it’s sharp sting. But through it I’ve learned so much. Though it has been challenging, I refuse to discount its place in my growth. Through the lessons learned in the most disappointing of situations I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by true friends and an amazing family. They helped me reframe these disappointments and point me towards hope for a brighter future.

The Playground

Under a bright blue sky kids bounced across the landscape. If you haven’t been to Grand Prairie’s PlayGrand Adventures, I’d highly recommend it. It’s phenomenal and very intentionally built to be inclusive of all children. Kids and families everywhere, as far as the eyes could see. There is so much for us to learn from kids at play.

My 10 year old, Landon, is a live wire when it comes to playgrounds. The dude is everywhere – jumpin’, runnin’, climbin’ things he probably shouldn’t be climbin’, swingin’, and slidin’. He gets it honest. I still have a hard time not partaking in the fun of a playground that I’m far too big for, so I just followed him around the park and observed.

Various structures with a wide degree of complexity lay intentionally placed across the area. And there was a beautiful display of diversity around the park. This space serves as a microcosm of our society. A great sense of hope welled up inside as I watched children from different backgrounds, cultures, and experiences come together and, despite their differences, find common ground in play. They work together, communicate, and respect each other’s differences. Lessons that we, as adults, can learn from to create a world where everyone is included and valued.

I find hope in the empathy on display. On this playground, I watched children recognize and respond to the emotions of their playmates. They helped each other up when one fell down. They looked out for the person below them, so as to not crush the hands of those below them. And, as the swings were limited to only a handful, no one sat and bogarted the swings. They acknowledged that others were waiting and made their way to the next thing so someone else could feel the wind rush against their face. 

As adults, we should cultivate this same empathy to create a more compassionate world. We need to listen to each other, seek to understand each other’s experiences, and work to create a world where everyone can thrive. We tend to do these things when crises arise, but what if we did it each day as we co-exist on the playgrounds of life?

No one was concerned about the nature of each other’s politics. There was no swing-side discussion on where one went to church, or if they attended church at all. No boundary lines were drawn with regard to who could play on this structure or that – or who was not allowed to play at all. They just found common humanity in playing.

These kids were not all carbon copies, cut from the same social strata, gender, race, or any other factor, but they found a way to make it work – to co-exist for a wonderful shared experience. Their free, loving, compassionate spirits gave me hope for brighter tomorrows. I hope they never forget those playground experiences. And I hope we, as the adults in their lives, can find a way to tap back into the times that we were those kids who found ways to co-exist without all being the same. 

Hope as a Tool

Hope is a powerful force. It has the capacity to help us navigate life’s ups and downs. It provides optimism in the face of great challenges. Hope pushes us forward when we feel like giving in. But hope, alone, is not a strategy for overcoming obstacles. Hope cannot be a passive state. It is critical that we take action and have a plan for what we hope to achieve and become.

Through it all, a sense of hope has existed deep down in my soul. With every shaky excuse given by an organization as to why they couldn’t move forward. Every time I was ghosted by an organization I thought was an ally. Each thought of the tens of thousands of dollars in mounting legal fees. I remained hopeful that the right organization would come along and that God would provide as it relates to covering legal financial obligations. And I remained focused on the actions I must take to move forward.

While much remains to be seen as it relates to how litigation and the next step in my career will play out, I’m hopeful. As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” Hope allows us to persevere in the face of adversity and remain steadfast in our pursuit of our dreams.

As you set out on the days ahead I pray you will hold fast to hope. Remember that it’s not just an emotion, but a force that can transform fear into courage, doubt into faith, and despair into optimism. It is the bridge that connects the present with the future, reminding us that tomorrow can be brighter than today. Embrace hope’s place in your life as a tool to unlock doors to new opportunities, new beginnings, and a new life. I have high hopes for you!

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: encouragement, faith, Growth, healing, inspiration, joy, motivation, optimism, perseverance, positivity, Reflection, reframe, transformation

Weekly With Whitfield – Bridges

March 11, 2023 by drwhitfield 6 Comments

In May of 2022 I was selected as one of forty people across the U.S. (Chicago, Dallas, and Pittsburgh) to join Independent Sector’s inaugural 2022 Bridging Fellows cohort. This two year program, through a combination of virtual and in-person convenings allows us to engage, learn, amplify, and share adaptive skills to help our communities bridge across various divides.

Serendipity. To be in such a space, learning from so many fabulous people, whom I may have never met if not for the storms I’ve encountered over the last couple years. An opportunity to engage in the deep and powerful work of building bridges to create stronger communities.

And, as fate would have it, this week would find us in the City of Steel, Pittsburgh, PA – also prominently known as the City of Bridges.

A Beautiful Landscape

The birds-eye-view flying into the city was pretty amazing. But it was when I hit the ground that it hit me on a whole other level. Pittsburgh is so picturesque.

From the iconic hills that rise up from the banks of the Allegheny River and stretch out into the distance, covered in a patchwork of green and brown. To the Monongahela River, with its deep shades of green, reflecting the foliage that lines its banks. To the Ohio River, with Its deep, dark blue hues, reflecting the sky above and the depths below, carrying barges and cargo ships up and down its length. These three rivers create a landscape that is both beautiful, powerful, and captivating. 

As the city is surrounded by these majestic waters, bridges are critical. Pittsburgh has a network of over 440 bridges – more bridges than any other city in the world, including Venice, Italy. As you drive into the city, the first thing that strikes you is the sheer number of bridges that dot the skyline. Some are massive steel structures that stretch across entire river valleys, while others are small pedestrian bridges that connect neighborhoods and parks. Each with their own unique beauty, character, and purpose.

These bridges are not just a testament to the city’s historic, industrial past, but they also serve as an important part of the city’s transportation infrastructure and add to the overall beauty of the city. Bridges everywhere. A beautiful necessity. But also a symbol of the task before us in our own communities – to be bridge builders.

Great Divides

Over the course of the last several years in the United States, the gulf between us has grown wider and wider. We’ve become that pesky set of siblings that fight just to fight. We will fight over just about anything. 

For many, all hope is lost. But not for me. Although we may have some deep wounds to heal – and we may need to go to time-out for a few minutes – I have faith in us. This is not the first time we’ve been at odds with each other. And this will not be the last time, I assure you. These times provide us with an opportunity to help  form a more perfect union. Our continued capacity to bridge the divides that would keep us worlds apart helps us move forward.

Bridges and Bridging Work

As we traversed the city for this convening I couldn’t help but reflect on the likeness of the physical bridge and the bridging work before us. Bridges are physical structures that connect people and places that may otherwise be divided by impassable barriers. Similarly, in this work we seek to bridge the gap between people and their causes, connecting those who might otherwise be separated by barriers of ignorance, indifference, or fear.

At the heart of this bridging, is the idea that we are all connected. We might come from different backgrounds, have different lived experiences, and be motivated by different concerns, but at our core, we share a basic, common humanity. We all want to live in a just and compassionate world. And these bridges can help us navigate the divides that separate us. Connecting us and  moving us towards our vision of a better future.

Building a Solid Foundation 

A bridge is nothing without a strong, solid foundation. The same goes for the bridging work in our communities. This foundation is built on knowledge, research, and an understanding of the issues and the impact they have on communities. Without taking the time to delve into those key aspects, our efforts are bound to collapse, leaving those who rely on our work stranded and vulnerable. 

In Pittsburgh we had the opportunity to visit several organizations committed to bridging in their communities. Each organization had built a firm foundation in the heart of the city geared towards service, engagement, and standing in the gap for some of the most vulnerable populations. Hearing their journey of how they laid that foundation in the face of some pretty challenging obstacles was inspiring.

Our capacity to build strong relationships in the communities we serve is key. Knowing the wide range of humanity that exists in our space at a deep and meaningful level provides focus as we navigate the challenges that come with bringing communities. Strong relational capacity leads to high levels of trust which, in turn, affords us the ability to move faster than we could otherwise.

Additionally, our sense of purpose is critical to setting out on firm footing. Having a strong, rooted foundation allows us to serve as a determined presence in our communities to leverage the power that lies within to create better futures for our people. 

Design and Construction 

A bridge is so much more than its foundation, though. It requires careful, intentional  design, engineering, and construction. Bridging work in communities is no different. We must put forth the required creativity, strategy, and collaboration to build bridges that are strong, resilient, nurturing, and effective. Additionally, innovation and vision are critical to creating solutions that can address the complex and interconnected issues facing our world.

One of the highlights of our time was our visit to 1Hood Media. As we walked off the bus to enter their facility, the cameras were rolling. A team of individuals greeted us with cameras, and continued as we entered the building, welcomed by the dope beats of old school hip-hop. At some point, the footage captured will undoubtedly be part of a piece for them telling their story. They’ve become masters of creative storytelling to highlight issues in their community, educating the populace, and bringing people in to solve complex issues plaguing their community.

1Hood has a distinct vision for amplifying and authorizing youth voices. The organization’s leaders embrace the historic role that youth have played in bridge builders across our nation over time. Instead of being an organization of “as the adults, we’re here to tell you how it’s done”, they commit to holding space for young people to speak up, engage, and activate in their communities where they see a need. 

Additionally, they’re embrace of art and creativity have ushered opportunities for artists to engage in the work of bridge building through their medium of expression. Through thoughtful design, creativity, strategy, and collaboration towards creating a strong bridge to the communities they serve across the city.

Connection

At its core, a bridge is a structure that connects two places that would otherwise be separate. They span rivers, valleys, and other obstacles, providing a safe and efficient way for people to travel between them. It brings people together, creating opportunities for dialogue, understanding, collaboration, and cooperation. 

Such is the work of bridging in our communities. We must connect people from different backgrounds, communities, and causes, to create a space for them to learn from one another, share their lived experiences, and build towards brighter futures.

We had the opportunity to do a guided bus tour through a few of the roughly 90 neighborhoods that comprise Pittsburgh. Mr. Malik was our phenomenal guide – an absolute wealth of knowledge surrounding, most anything, Pittsburgh. But this tour was largely focused on affordable housing and sustainability in a few communities. 

Listening to him speak of the collaboration and connectivity needed to pull off some of these aspirational housing proposals was mind boggling and inspirational. He spoke to the connections between the private sector, public sector, developers, philanthropy, etc. to make their collective vision come to life.  And, while they all tend to move at very different speeds, they’re all critical to creating brighter outcomes for people in our communities. Sure many of these entities may have some competing priorities, but the work of bridging these priorities is paramount towards creating communities where we can all thrive.

Connection doesn’t always mean we will immediately agree on whatever the problem is that we seek to solve, or how to solve it. But our willingness to understand, engage in dialogue, and collaborate can create strong connections that allow us to see past that which separates us and towards that which we can envision for our collective future.

Upkeep

Bridges require ongoing maintenance and repair to keep them strong and functional. Neglect can and, eventually, will lead to disaster. The work we do in our communities is no different. Today we find our societal bridges in need of massive repair. Fear-mongering, deception, othering, ignorance, and hate have chipped away at our social fabric, eroding trust in our fellow man.

As we go about the challenging work of repairing these fractures it’s imperative that we operate with compassion and empathy. As hard as it may be to listen to those who may believe differently than us, please take time to lend a kind ear. Chances are, if we really listen, we can find that common ground and begin to solder these broken pieces of our communities.

And it won’t be easy. There’s no sense in pretending it will be. It will be hard work. As we are challenged with things that may run counter to that which we thought we knew there’s a tendency to get defensive. It’s human nature. But I encourage you to lean into vulnerability and push back on those defensive feelings. 

Building bridges is just the first step. Building communities where all can thrive requires ongoing commitment, monitoring, and evaluation to ensure that the bridges we construct remain strong and effective over time.

Be the Bridge

The symbol of the bridge reminds us that we are all connected, and that the work of building great, thriving communities is about constructing bridges that can span divides, connect people, and create opportunities for a better future. It requires a solid foundation, careful design and construction, and ongoing care and repair. But if we dare erect these bridges, if we can connect people and causes at the intersection of various issues, then we can create a world that is better for us all.

I encourage you to get out there and look for opportunities to build bridges in your communities. The work is plenty and endless. And there will be new concerns that arise as we turn the pages of tomorrow. But it’s necessary and so worth it. 

Go Build!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Advocacy, bridges, Bridging, community, connection, Education, engagement, equality, Equity, justice, learn, life, pittsburgh, Reflection, transformation

Weekly With Whitfield – Love

February 17, 2023 by drwhitfield 5 Comments

There’s no way I could let the week of Valentine’s Day pass and not reflect on love. Believe me, I tried. I didn’t want to be cliche’. But love, as it so often does, captured the essence of the week. That said, Valentine’s Day has generally just been another day for me. Sure, it’s cool to do all the little extra things – the chocolates, flowers, sweet cards, and the likes – but I think most of us know that love can’t be confined to one day or material things. It surrounds us every day.

Love is a beautiful, dynamic force.

Dynamic Love

Speaking of a beautiful, dynamic force, this week we returned from the gorgeous shores of Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, where we were able to celebrate my stunning wife, Kerrie, and her twin sister. We had an amazing time strolling the lush, tropical, expansive spaces of our resort and the magnificent beaches. Along those paths I’d find myself gazing intently at this woman by my side – the love of my life. She is absolutely captivating.

To be loved by such a person is indescribable. Her love is so pure and deep. It wraps me in hope in moments of despair. And brings me unlimited moments of smile-til-your-face-hurts joy. Her love is all encompassing. I love the way it feels to be loved by her. I love her so much. 

On many occasions during our trip we discussed our upcoming milestone anniversary. This year marks 20 years that we’ve been together – 19 married. And in August of 2024 we will be married for 20 years. We chuckled as we reminisced about how much we’ve grown over the course of all those years. Love did that.

We were just two kids in our early 20’s, trying to find our way. I’ll never forget the moment I met her. It was absolutely love at first sight. She has continued to mesmerize me ever since. I am so fortunate to get to share my life with such a beautiful soul. The way she loves is the inspiration for today’s message. 

Love is such a powerful force. To be loved, and to share love, is one of the greatest gifts we can give. It serves, heals, inspires, connects, and transforms. While my example is that of the love of my wife, we know that love has the ability to take on many forms, whether that be romantic, familial, or the love between friends. Regardless of the form, the power of love is undeniable. 

Service

Love leads us to serve. When we feel loved we are more inclined to serve. Service is one of the greatest, most pure, expressions of love. Love calls us to operate with a heart of service to those we encounter throughout our days. 

And it’s reciprocal. Some days you will be the one with the energy and ability to be of service to someone in your space. Then, there will be days when it feels like you have nothing left to give, and someone comes through for you. Love nudges us to be of service to others, without an expectation of anything in return.

Healing

Love heals. When we feel loved, we experience a sense of safety and belonging that allows us to heal from emotional pain and trauma. And if we’re real about it, much of that emotional pain and trauma manifested because of our love for those who inflicted it. I won’t deny that. Love can, most definitely hurt.

But love’s healing powers are strong enough to help us overcome the hurt. Love stands ready to help us defeat feelings of isolation, anxiety, and depression. It wraps us up in comfort as we face the challenges that life may throw our way.

Inspiration

Love inspires. In love, we feel inspired to be our best selves. It pushes us to take risks and wildly pursue our dreams. The love of those around us sparks inspiration for things to come. 

It helps us see beyond our immediate circumstances and on to what may lay ahead for us. And armed with that inspiration, we tend to be  more generous and compassionate towards others. We pay it forward, sparking inspiration in the lives we touch on a daily basis. 

Connection

Love connects. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, besides food, water, and safety, belonging and love stand as two of the most powerful needs we must fulfill. Human connection is paramount to our overall well being. When we experience love, we form deep, meaningful connections with those around us. 

Love allows us to see beyond the differences that seek to divide us and pushes us to connect with each other on a deeper level. This connective power of love can bring people together in a way that nothing else can. All too often it takes tragedy for us to embrace how connected we really are in this experiment called life. We must allow the connective tissue of love to weave its way into our relationships with our families, friends, communities, and the world at large. 

Transformation

Love transforms. The transformative nature of love shifts the way we see ourselves and the world around us. Love contains the essential ingredients to transform our communities, helping us create a more loving, just, and compassionate world. 

When we allow ourselves to embrace love over the alternative, we are able to see past societal-imposed differences. We become transformers – more than meets the eye. Powerful, transformative figures, ready to combat evil and injustice to create a better, brighter world. 

The Power of Love

Love serves, heals, inspires, connects, and transforms. It’s foundational to our relationships with others. And critical to our personal and collective well-being. In a world that can, oftentimes, feel grim and unforgiving, love shines through, lighting our path to brighter days. We simply must continue to reach for it.

Every chance you get, spread love. Especially on the days that may feel darkest. It can be as simple as a phone call or a text expressing how much a loved one means to you. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Chances are, a simple, heartfelt message of love will mean more than any material thing. Sending love and light to you all in the days ahead. Go out and BE LOVE.

 

Filed Under: Weekly With Whitfield Tagged With: care, connection, happiness, healing, humanity, inspiration, joy, love, mental health, peace, power, Reflection, serve, transformation, trauma, well-being

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