Dr. James Whitfield

fatherhood

Still

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This week I found out that I will be a Grandfather to a precious baby girl next summer. As we watched the video of their adorable gender reveal, chills ran through my body. As the slice of cake transitions from black and white to reveal the pink center, my heart melts. I am going to be a girl grandpa!

Be Still and Commit to the Process

I swear I had my final reflective word for 2023 picked out for about a month now. It was gonna be something real sly to cap off the year. But now, equipped with this marvelous revelation, I was reminded of one of the strongest lessons this whole process has taught me – don’t get too far ahead of yourself. It defeats the purpose of being in a state of true reflection. Just BE STILL in the moment and allow yourself the space to simply BE.

When I began this journey I thought the biggest challenge would be actually finding the time to actually write it. While there have been times where I got the piece out on a Saturday instead of a Friday, each week I found ways to get it done. I was committed to the process.

There were a few weeks where writer’s block kicked in. Several weeks were largely a blur, and there just didn’t seem to be anything that really jumped out. It was in those moments where I realized there was a need to dig deeper, beyond surface reflections. I also came to rest, knowing that each week didn’t have to be some profound, life-changing reflection. Sometimes it was just a simple lesson I may have been reminded of, a family member I’d thought about, the love and appreciation I have for my wife, or the deep love and gratitude that comes with being a father. 

Over time, it became what it was supposed to be – a truly reflective journey. It didn’t have to be some cataclysmic event that happened in the world, or to me. It could be as simple as embracing the time and space to sit, think, feel, and be. To say this year has been transformative in this sense is an understatement. Quite honestly, I could not have written a more fitting script to finish out this year’s journey. 

Grandpa Era

I’m so excited to embark on the new year. I know that 2024 will bring about a new, beautiful transformation as I enter my Grandpa Era. My grandparents are no longer with us. Kerrie’s have passed on, as well. In our small, close-knit family, the only grandparent that’s around for our children is Kerrie’s mother, Colleen. Both of our fathers live out of state and we don’t get an opportunity to see them much at all. And there is not a day that passes that I don’t think about how much of a presence my mother would be in Jordan, Lauren, and Landon’s lives. 

It’s quite perplexing how some who have every opportunity to be involved in their grandchildren’s lives will find every opportunity not to. Then you have those who you know would give their last breath for their grandchildren, yet they have no breath left to give. I know that’s just the way life goes, but the irony can be infuriatingly confusing.

Through it all, I can only control what I can control. And that is simply being who I need to be for my family. By no means a perfect man, but a steady, positive presence in the lives of the people I love. 

Long ago I came to the realization that it’s not necessarily others who disappoint us. It’s our expectations of others to do something that is simply beyond their capacity that disappoints us. So, with that, I choose to lean into it, control what I can control, let go of resentment, love from afar, and be for my family that which I longed for as a child, young man, and now, as an adult. 

None of this ever came down to earthly possessions for me. The person who loved me more than anything in this world had nothing material to leave me when she left the earth. But what she did leave was her spirit of love, affection, and compassion. She left her relentless work ethic and tenacity for standing up for those in need. She left me her joy in the face of adversity, her ability to take notice, and celebrate the small things in life. My mother left me with a legacy that dwells deep within my soul. She sits here with me, today, on what would be my mother’s 67th birthday, putting the final touches on my last reflective piece of 2023. Happy Birthday, Mama! I love you! Thank you for continuing to guide my hand in all things!

Transitioning to What’s Next

This has been one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done…and that’s coming from someone who’s undergone the grueling beast of completing a pretty arduous doctoral program. I’ve tried to keep it as authentic and raw as I possibly could. There were moments of joy, pain, chaos, clarity, peace, conflict, anger, frustration, comfort, learning, unlearning, and everything in between. And isn’t that life? This journey has left an indelible impact on the way I will navigate the next chapters that unfold. 

Many asked if I will continue these weekly reflections. I’ve yet to land on a firm answer to that question, but it definitely is my plan to continue to grow as a writer. And, with that, comes a lot of writing.

Prior to January of this year, much of my writing was in isolation – for my eyes only – hyper-focused on capturing my experience since July of 2021, when our world absolutely imploded. It has always been my hope to partner with a publisher, at some point, to tell that story. Not so much the story the media wanted to run with, but the real story that needs to be shared. A narrative that helps shine a light on what truly plagues our communities, and how we build a meaningful way forward for our kids and each other.

This year has given me the space to take a step back from a trauma-filled last couple years. This process has slowly allowed me to reclaim pieces of me that had been beaten, battered, and stripped away. While the healing continues to this day, I am in a much better place through taking this year’s journey. I have started the process of narrowing down prospective agents to help guide this endeavor and I am excited to see what’s next!

Acknowledgments

I want to thank you all for joining me on this crazy journey. Even those who may have just popped in for one or two blogs – I appreciate you. I hope you found something that resonated with you. 

Some of you have been consistent partners in this endeavor to complete this journey. Truly, my biggest cheerleaders. Each week you’ve left feedback on my website or you’ve made comments when I’ve posted my musing is in longform on social media. There are far too many of you to thank individually. Please know that I am forever grateful for you. 

To my amazing wife, Kerrie – thank you so much for always believing in me and pushing me on towards things I once thought impossible. You inspire me every day. I am so very fortunate to have you by my side on this magically wild ride through life. You are my rock, my best friend, my everything! I love you!

To my children, Jordan, Lauren, and Landon – you are God’s greatest gifts. I’m so honored to be your father. It has been such a joy to watch your journeys unfold; each so very unique, yet similar, at the same time. You enrich my life in more than I can put together in words. Thank you for being my north star, my loves! I’m forever in your corner!

The Gift of the Next Chapter 

Every day. Each week. Each month that we get is truly a gift, no matter where we may land on the spinning wheel of emotion and circumstances. Sooner or later, things will get better. And, in a moment, things can get worse. But the wheel will keep on turning. 

It is my deepest hope and prayer that as you navigate the days and weeks ahead is that you will grant yourself the grace to be still in the moments. Whether good or bad, there are lessons to be learned but so often we’re too busy trying to move to the next leg of the journey that we miss them. 

Make time to reflect often. It doesn’t have to be a blog post. It could be a sticky note, a note on your phone, a text to a loved one with your thoughts – it can be whatever. But make the time to practice self-reflection. I encourage you to make a habit of it. Set a frequent reminder to do so to begin. Over time, I guarantee you’ll find yourself more dialed in than you’ve ever been and you won’t need the reminder.

For many of us, we will be embarking on new endeavors as the calendar year turns. For some (myself included), it will be the all too familiar chase of better health in the new year. Others may be looking to transition to a new career path or promotional aspirations. There’s a couple (or two) out there who are venturing out into the new waters of a serious relationship. And some families out there are looking to become first time parents.

In all situations, trust the process. There will be times of frustration. There will be times that things are going smoothly. And there will be times where it will seem frustratingly smooth. It’s all part of your unique journey towards what’s next for you. I can’t wait to see what the new year brings you! 

Thanks again for being here! Wishing you peace and abundance in your next chapter, and beyond!

 

Heroes

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As I walk out of the building, I hear cheers and see dozens of my students with signs of support. It’s the end of yet another long school board meeting where many of their classmates stood up and spoke on my behalf and for each other. It’s a dark, crisp night, it’s getting late and I know this will likely be the last time I get to address this group of students face-to-face. I step to the bullhorn and deliver a brief message of appreciation, love, pride, and support, then head home so we can put my 3rd grade son, Landon, to bed. 

The Kids Are Alright

Before I go further I must note something that many may not have realized about the students who were leading protests and speaking out. Many in the crowd that night have just finished their early action applications to Harvard, Brown, MIT, Stanford, University of Texas Honors Program, and Rice. Most, if not all, of them are taking a full load of AP classes as high school seniors. They are students who have never skipped school a day in their life but quickly informed their parents that they would be walking out of school in protest because they believed so strongly in their cause. After many of them spoke on this night, they were chastised by another speaker saying “they should not get to speak – they don’t pay taxes.” 

On this day two years ago, November 17, 2021, I saw a group of young people who, despite the opposition, found their voice. A group of students who had no time to engage in protests and the likes, made time. Their courage, leadership, and conviction landed them in the headlines of The Washington Post, refusing to be silenced. They represented what so many people feared – an engaged, educated young citizen capable of critical thinking and forming their own conclusions. These young people refused to drink from the fire hydrant of what may have been traditional “community” norms, but rather, questioned it.

Winds of Change

My time had run its course in the district, yet my youngest son was still enrolled there. He’d joined me in the district years prior and it was nice to have him so close to me. I could pop over for lunch when I had a few minutes. He could come over after school and shoot hoops with me before we went home. He loved his teachers, principal, and friends. And we enjoyed our rides to and from school together. 

But at this, things have changed. For the last several months I would drive Landon to school, past my former school, drop him off, then head home where a whirlwind of media were chomping at the bits for their pound of flesh. Thankfully, I’d found a dear friend and PR Strategist throughout this process who helped screen out some of the sharks. But after the meeting on November 17, 2021, it was clear that I had to make the tough decision to withdraw Landon from the district at the Thanksgiving break and enroll him in our home district on the other side. He was sad. His friends and teachers were sad and they made him cool going away presents. We were all sad. But this was just the way it had to be.

Navigating Transitions

As I walk up to enroll Landon for his first day at his new school I’m met with the emotion that most every parent has felt at some point –

Am I doing the right thing?

Surely I could just suck it up and just make the drive, push down the emotional trigger of passing my former place of employment, and make it happen, right?

But through the mixed emotions I enrolled Landon in his new school, which is within walking distance from our house. Over the course of the next several weeks we created a new routine – walk to school, then at the end of the day pick up by the big oak tree, then walk home. We found rhythm and consistency. And, as luck would have it, one of Landon’s former teachers was good friends with one of his new teachers and they were able to discuss his progress. 

Not only was he experiencing a transition academically, but he was watching the world around him unravel. He clung closer and closer to my side. While I tried to shield him from all that was going on and hide the pain, disappointment, and frustration in his presence, he knew something was off. He knows how much his dad loves being a school principal and now dad is no longer doing that. He is now accustomed to cameras and journalists following us to school or setting up in our home. And he is thriving in his new school setting. 

I marveled at his resilience and growth, his capacity to adapt to change and pour out love. On many days where I felt my light begin to dim, he shared some of his with me to brighten the way. And over the course of the rest of the 21-22 school year and 22-23 school year it was much the same. This dude served as such an inspiration to me.

A Whole New World

As August came around, I was nearing the end of my required time outside of public education. But I knew where I would be on the first day of school for the 23-24 school year. I’d obtained my superintendent certification years ago and never thought I’d be using it. But God always has a way of making a way towards those things you once thought unattainable. For this school year I’d begin on the first day of school at a K-12 public charter school as superintendent. 

Look at God.

But now I had a decision to make. With my older two children, Jordan and Lauren, I had the opportunity to serve in a school they attended. I got to coach Jordan as a basketball player (he loved it). When Lauren went into middle school, good ole dad was starting as a first year assistant principal (and you know she loved that). And now an opportunity has presented itself for me to be at school with Landon as a 5th grader, should we choose to transfer him to the school I’m at.

Decisions

For weeks prior we went back and forth. He’d been through so much change over the last few years. Relationships were formed with friends and teachers in his current school. And this was his year to be the big dawg on campus as 5th grade is the final year in that school. With us now being at different schools I definitely couldn’t drop him off in the mornings. Sparingly I’d be able to pick him up from school. I’d still probably get to join him for lunch as much as any other year. But things would be changing, for sure. So many considerations.

I drove to school alone on August 16, 2023. This was to be Landon’s first day of school, as well. His school day was set to start several minutes after mine and we would no longer ride together. With each mile I inched in traffic closer to school my emotions were everywhere, much like the cars that zoomed around each other. We’d been so torn on whether or not I should bring Landon to my school, which promised to be an amazing place, or leave him at his current school that was also amazing.

In an instant, I asked Siri to call my wife, who I knew would be up with Landon, preparing for his first day. As she picked up the phone I said, 

“Honey, don’t send him to school today. I’m gonna bring him with me. What do you think?”

Yes. I know. I went from making a firm decision to asking a question in the same breath. That speaks to where my mind was at. But I just knew in my heart that this was the right move.

She went over to Landon with the phone on speaker and said “Hey bud, what do you think about going to school with Dad this year? Dad wants you to go with him.”

All of a sudden, the phone momentarily went silent. I thought “oh crap. Did I just mess this up? The first day of school is already stressful and now I’ve gone and made it extra stressful.”

Before I got too far along the downward spiral of my thoughts I heard Kerrie’s voice exclaim, “Oh my gosh, he’s smiling so big. Yes. He’s shaking his head, yes.”

The decision was made. Landon would join me at school for 5th grade. Our rides to and from school together would continue. He’d be in a place where he gets to learn in a small setting and enjoy the outdoors afforded at our beautiful, expansive campus.

A Day to Trot

Over the last few months we’ve both gone through transition – him, as a new student in a new space; me, in a new role in a new place. And it has been one heck of a journey navigating the winds of change. 

Today was our annual Turkey Trot at our school. For the last several weeks, students were given the opportunity to sign up by grade level clusters to run in it. The winners of each race received a turkey to take home. Over the course of that time I’ve asked Landon every day if he wanted to run in the race. The dude is a strong, fast runner. But every day, the answer was, “no dad, I’m good.” 

This morning we began as we do most Fridays with our Donuts with Dad at our favorite donut shop. Then, we had a conversation about everything from the upcoming anniversary of the JFK assassination to the conflict in the middle east. As we got to school and entered my office Landon looked at me and said, “Dad, I think I want to do the Turkey Trot”, to which I responded, “then let’s do it!”. Quickly, we went over to the sign up sheet to add his name. 

After adding his name he said, “Dad, if I win the Turkey Trot, I want to give the turkey I win to someone who needs it.”

With my heart beaming with pride I said, “that sounds like a fantastic idea son. I’m sure there is someone who needs it.”

We had a great day today at our school. I was pied in the face by those who won the drawing from our canned food drive. Families feasted on wide food spreads, picnic style, with their children on the grounds. And the races were intense. 

As I watched Landon round the last turn towards the finish line with no one in front of him I couldn’t help but smile. After so much hesitation about even running, he’d not only run the race, but won first place, thus securing that turkey to give away. After a great big hug, he was off to take his picture with the first place sign and a huge turkey in his arms. I could see the happiness in his face – the pride in his stance. He’d won the turkey he set out to win to donate to someone in need.

I stood there watching this young man with so much pride in my heart. To think about where we were two years ago on this very day. So much uncertainty, pain, grief, disappointment, and fear. Then the transitions over the course of the time from then to now. And now, this moment. Only by the grace of God.

Our Young People, Our Heroes

So often, we reserve the title of “hero” for adults or celebrities, but I know better. Heroes are the young folks I’ve described above. Youth who sacrificed so much of their time and energy to stand up for not only me, but their community. They were harassed online and in person, but never buckled under the pressure. They shook up things and made folks aware of what was going on in their community. 

And my son, Landon. He is truly one of my heroes. He inspires me with his courage and resilience. The last couple years have been tough but he mets every challenge, head-on, and conquering them. I’m proud of his huge heart, empathy, and sense of compassion for others. His compassion knows no bounds, a beacon of light in a world that sometimes feels dim. I’m uplifted by his constant encouragement and love. 

Landon. My son. Our little champion. My heart. My hero.

Weekly With Whitfield – Legacy

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I love my kids. The impact they’ve made on my life can’t be quantified. Daily, I’m reminded of the great privilege it is to be their father. I feel the deep pride that comes with looking at all the great things they’re each doing in the various stages of their lives. There is a profound power that rises up in my soul when I think of the lengths I would go to protect them. My love for them knows no bounds.

With this week encompassing National Daughter’s Day and National Son’s Day, I couldn’t help but scroll through old photos. It’s crazy how technology has changed this aspect of reminiscing for me. Not too long ago, I would’ve been pouring over physical photo albums. Now, I have them on my phone. The process of selecting a handful of photos to share on a Happy National Daughter’s/Son’s Day was quite complex. Years upon years of so many beautiful memories. 

A Precious Stroll Down Memory Lane

During my stroll down memory lane, I came across a picture of my mother holding my oldest son, Jordan. And I sit with this photo, in deep thought, for a good while. Nearly two years before this photo, she’d been diagnosed with Leukemia. From the moment of diagnosis to the time of this picture (July of 1996) she’d undergone several rounds of chemotherapy, a bone marrow transplant at M.D. Anderson in Houston, TX, gone in and out of remission, watched her eldest son (me) graduate high school, and, now, was able to hold her first grandchild.

This would be the only time she ever got to hold him. And it was as if she knew that this would be her final opportunity. My mother was not feeling well, at all, but was able to leave M.D. Anderson and she return to my grandmother’s house in Itasca, TX to celebrate my 18th birthday. My mother was one of the strongest women I’ve ever known, if not the strongest. But Leukemia doesn’t care how strong you are…neither does the chemo…it devours and denies.

And, while that is so true, on this day I saw my mother transcend the pain and absolutely glow as she held this beautiful baby boy in her arms. Most will agree that, rarely, do pictures fully capture the beauty of these moments. But as I look back on this picture it’s about as close to a true reflection as I’ve ever seen. The way she held him. My arm around her. My baby brother, Michael, just over her right shoulder with a bright smile. One would never guess that poison was running through her body. The immense pride in her smile still speaks to me. She was glowing.

Cherish the Day

I remember never wanting that moment to end. I sat by her side the whole time. Although weak from treatment, she did not want to let Jordan go. She held him. And held him. And sang to him. And played the piano for him. And sang to him some more. Soon, it was time to gather in my grandmother’s kitchen for them to sing “Happy Birthday” to me. Time stood still. It seemed like those candles were lit forever. I didn’t want to blow them out. Not for any dramatic symbolism or anything like that. I just didn’t want that moment to end. Eventually, I blew them out. My family did that ceremonial applause. And then we enjoyed the chocolate cake my grandmother had baked and enjoyed the rest of our visit. I’m so very grateful God gave us that day.

A Painful Farewell

Over the next 5 months my mother’s condition would worsen. We spent Christmas down in Houston at my grandmother’s apartment, as she’d refinanced her house to relocate to be with my mother throughout this time. This visit would not be as joyous. My dad, brother, put on our hospital gowns and face coverings and entered my mother’s room. She lay there, resting, her eyes closed, as they’d given her medication to ease the pain. As we approached, her eyes slowly began to open. While I fully knew the pain she was in, I still felt as though she was going to jump out of the bed. 

But this is not the movies – that didn’t happen. Instead, she slowly began to try to nudge her way up in her bed to sit up. She was alert and coherent, and that made me smile. I grabbed her frail hand and just sat by her side. We talked and tried to sing a few Christmas carols, as Christmas was my mother’s favorite time of the year. Through the pain, she smiled and even cracked a few jokes. The prognosis was looking worse than it had before, but I didn’t want to believe it. 

Heartbroken

I can’t describe the feeling that came over me when I left that hospital room that December evening. My mom, Beverly Jan Whitfield, turned 40 on December 30, 1996. Then on January 17, 1997, she passed from this earth. To this day, I remember, vividly, each detail of that day. My whole world flipped upside down. I lost my best friend, my everything, on that day. And it would take me years to see past the anger and pain and towards the possibility of brighter days.

Over time it started to hit me, just how lucky I was to have her as an example of how a parent should love their kids. As I sit here at 45 years old – a whole 5 years older than my mother was when she passed away – I’m reminded of just how strong my mother was in those final years and in that final Christmas with my brother and I. To look out into your children’s eyes and love them so deeply, yet know that you will likely miss all the key moments of their lives. While I know my mother knew she’d be with her Heavenly Father when she left this earth, I also know that she was a human and that must have caused such pain deep in her soul. But she never let it show. I cannot begin to imagine such pain.

An Enduring Legacy

The journey from then to now has been quite an adventure. And that adventure has included the three amazing young people I’m so proud to call my own. It’s hard to imagine what life would be like without each of their unique presence in my life. I praise God for each day I get to be with them. I know, all too well, that every single day is a special gift and I do my best to cherish it. Not a day passes that I don’t think about my mother and what life would be like with her physical presence.

But her powerful presence lives within me. She nudges me in moments of uncertainty or fear. I can feel her pride when I accomplish something I set out to do. Her strength props me up when I’m faced with things that seem impossible. I feel her in moments of joy. She is my ultimate guide along this journey of parenthood, as she left such an amazing blueprint. Throughout the days of my life I commit to building upon the legacy my beloved mother left us.

Weekly With Whitfield – Parenthood

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Among life’s most profound joys, few can match the bliss found in parenthood. It is such a transformative journey of love, sacrifice, and growth – a journey that has changed my life for the better. 

I am a father to three amazing children. My eldest son, Jordan, is 27 years old. My daughter, Lauren, is 22 years old. And my youngest, Landon, is 10 years old. I’ve got quite the range of ages. But what a blessing and honor it is to be their father. Each of them have taught me unique things about myself that I may have never understood without their existence. Grateful is truly an understatement.

Baby Boy

Landon, who will be in fifth grade in the fall, is out for summer break. With that, he and I spend most every day together as I am an educator and have flexible summers. This week I was scrolling through my Google photos album, which is filled with videos from when he was a baby till now.  I was struck at just how fast 10 years can fly by. And the joy and happiness that I see in these videos and pictures is reflective of the experience of daily life with him. These aren’t just moments that have been singled out to be part of some montage. What I see is a reflection of daily life with this amazing young person. At this stage in my life to get the experience of daily life through the eyes of a child is absolutely beautiful. What a wondrous ride it is.

Baby Girl

I had an opportunity to have lunch with my beautiful baby girl, Lauren, this week. When my baby girl asks if I want to do lunch, I do lunch. As I listened to her vision for the future, her hopes for a better world, and her ideas of what to do to impact the lives of people in a deep and meaningful way, I was moved beyond words. This young lady amazes me every day. She’s got so many creative ideas and things that will help people who need it the most. I hope she knows how very proud I am of her. She has such a deep care for the lives of others. At 22 years of age she’s a college graduate, she’s gainfully employed, and she’s working on becoming an entrepreneur.  If you get a chance to meet Lauren you will initially be struck by her glow, her outward beauty.  But what is most impressive is the shine that is within. I’m so proud of her and honored to be her father.

The O.G.

A couple weeks ago my eldest son, Jordan, invited me to be his guest at the annual Fort Worth Metropolitan Black Chamber of Commerce luncheon, which was held this week. If you’ve ever met Jordan you know that he is an amazing young man. Truly, he is the best man I know. And to be his guest at this event made my heart so very happy. To enter the space of this luncheon of roughly 900 guests and watch him work a room, engaging with folks – his smile, his interest in people’s lives, his ability to carry a conversation – was something to behold. Usually in those spaces I’m the one out doing the talking and mixing but on that day I simply took a backseat in pride and watched my baby boy, a boy that entered my life at the age of 17 years old, shine. He absolutely changed the course of my life for the better. And I have no doubt that all who cross his path will be all the better for it.

Shifting the Narrative

The absence of a father figure in my life initially left a void. Yet, in the depths of that void, seeds of resilience and determination took root. On most evenings, in my childhood, my mother and I would sit out on our bench swing in the front yard. So many fond conversations on that swing. One of the recurring conversations was that of the husband and father I promised to be for my wife and kids when that time came. Over time, I would recognize that the absence of a father did not define my worth or my potential to be an exceptional father myself. Instead, it would spark a fire within me to become the father I longed for.

Over the last 27 years, I’ve had the honor of witnessing the magic of parenthood unfold. This journey has been about creating a sanctuary of love and support, where dreams can flourish. Through every bedtime story, scraped knee kissed, and heartfelt conversation, my hope is to craft a legacy that transcends generations. To my own father, I offer forgiveness and gratitude. I carry your lessons with me, not as a burden, but as a source of inspiration to be the best father I can be. Offering no resentment, only love.

I am guided by love, driven by purpose, and devoted to creating a better future for my children. In this sacred role, I cherish the privilege of being a father –  knowing that I have the power to shape lives, to cultivate dreams, and to foster love that will ripple through generations to come. And as I watch my children grow, I am humbled by the amazing humans they have become. Being your father is truly one of life’s greatest joys!

Parent Appreciation

Shout out to all the amazing parents out there making it happen for your children. It’s a challenging role, filled with a rollercoaster of emotions. Along the way it’s natural to question if you’re doing it “right”. In those moments, grant yourself grace and remember that being a parent doesn’t come with instructions, per say. Each child is different and will bring forth their own unique challenges that may make you question yourself. In those moments, please don’t hesitate to reach out to someone. Chances are, someone out there has faced the same parenthood challenges. You’re not alone. And you are exactly the right person for the job. You are divinely appointed. 

Weekly With Whitfield – Anticipation

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Anticipation can be such a powerful tool. Whether it’s waiting to see what Santa leaves under the tree or the long awaited reunification of a loved one, that sense of excitement and anticipation can be a powerful and dynamic force. The feeling of anticipation can influence our emotions, thoughts, and behavior.

Numerous studies have shown that anticipation and the release of dopamine, the “feel good” hormone, are closely linked. When we anticipate something tied to a reward or motivation our brain releases dopamine in anticipation of what’s to come.

Wifey’s Birthday Weekend

This week has been filled with the anticipation of being able to celebrate the love of my life, my wife, Kerrie, who’s birthday is this Sunday. I know, I know – that’s Super Bowl Sunday – but, as luck would have it, I’m married to a person who really enjoys football. Additionally, I guess it doesn’t hurt that we will be on the beach in Punta Cana [HUGE SMILE].

Those who know me, know – I’m all about family vacations. I love being able to get away with our kids. Leading up to those trips there’s a great sense of anticipation that swells inside me as I think of the memories we’ll make. 

But it’s always nice to be able to get away, just the two of us. We’ve had some amazing adventures. And as I think about how beautiful those adventures have been, my anticipation of those that lay ahead grows stronger. Then, when we get back it will be time to start planning our 20 year renewal of vows for  the summer of 2024. Another moment of great anticipation awaits. It really is quite a journey being able to do life with your best friend. 

First Date

Life with Kerrie has been a beautiful journey of anticipation. There are so many anticipatory moments that stand out in my mind. One that jumps out is our first date. Now, if you can believe it – she tried to tell me “it’s cool, we can just go to McDonalds or something”. But there was no way on God’s green earth I was going for that. Instead, we went to a small, quaint Italian place close to her house. 

And it was in those moments of conversation, over spaghetti and chicken fettuccine alfredo, that I knew I’d found the love of my life. I immediately envisioned building a life with this woman. And the rest is history. Here we are, almost 20 years later, and each day I awake with a spirit of anticipation of what’s to come for our love story. I pray everyone to be so lucky as to have a life partner who they don’t just get through life with, but they anticipate all that’s in front of them. 

Oh, The Places You Will Go

That excitement has caused me to reflect deeply on the feeling and power created by anticipation. Over the past several months I’ve found myself thinking about what’s next for my career journey. Most every day someone asks that very question – “what’s next for you?”

And, while I can’t pinpoint exactly what that answer is, I anticipate great things. If my journey to this stage of life serves an indicator of what’s to come, something great awaits. The data speaks for itself. On the other side of chaos something great has always been there, staring me down. 

I anticipate being able to serve in some capacity in public schools again. While some may call me crazy, it’s where my heart is. And I anticipate that things will not always be easy in that space. But, such is life. I look forward to the educators and students whose path I will cross at some point this fall. It’s going to be magical, just watch.

Lauren Nicole

With great anticipation I await the college graduation of my baby girl, Lauren, in May. Proud is an understatement. This young lady amazes me at every turn. She’s smart, creative, empathetic, hard working, beautiful (inside and out), and has such a bright vision for making the world a better place. I love to listen to her thoughts and ideas – her hopes and dreams. I hope she knows how very much she inspires me.  Without question, great things in her future. And I get a front row seat to it all. What a blessing.

Jordan & Peyton

And then there’s my oldest son, Jordan, and his wife, my amazing daughter-in-law, Peyton. They’ve already given me a Grandpuppy (Jimmy) and now I’m anticipating…wait for it…

…Them becoming first-time homeowners! 

(Don’t lie…everyone reading this thought I was about to announce something else… Y’all stop 😂)

With fingers crossed that all goes as planned, they’ll purchase their first home together late this spring. I could go on and on about these two. Their story is one out of a fairy tale. High School Sweethearts who journeyed away together for college, obtained their degrees, then came back home and began successful careers. But, most importantly, they’re simply beautiful people. I can’t wait to see all that the future holds for these two!

Landon

While I am in no hurry for my youngest, Landon, to grow up, I’m so excited for the days ahead for him. He is such a trooper and brings so much joy to my heart. His fun-loving personality, determination, and creativity. The way he loves so big. His thirst for adventure and imagination keep me on my toes. 

One of the beautiful moments about this season of life I’m in is getting to pick him up from school each day. While it may seem like a small thing, it’s really quite a big deal. Last year, as he transitioned to his new school, we picked a predetermined place that I’d pick him up from school each day – by the big tree. Each day, as I grab his little surprise snack and drink for the ride home, I’m filled with anticipation – to see him look for me at that tree. Then, to see his face when he sees me standing there – priceless. And to hear all the stories of his day as a 4th grader. Anticipation meets sheer jubilation.

Blessings

I’m so grateful for every moment. These amazingly beautiful kids. My stunning, magnificent wife. And I anticipate joy, blessings, and warm days to come. I know storms will come for us all at some point along our journey, but I will continue to look back at the trends of our lives, expecting and anticipating brighter days on the other side.