Dr. James Whitfield

care

Weekly With Whitfield – Conflicted

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This week has been filled with conflicting emotions. Generally, it’s been positive and productive. But I’d be lying if I told you positivity stayed throughout the week. Thankfully, joy has outweighed pain, but as I searched for what to write about today I’ve been very, very conflicted.

Family Pool Days

We had the chance to have a backyard full of friends and family this past Sunday afternoon. I spent the day sweltering over the grill in the 100 plus degree Texas heat. But, man, was it worth it. In the hustle and bustle of daily life it is hard to nail down the whole extended family but, on this day, we did. Through my sweat-stinging eyes, I looked around that backyard and just took it in. I didn’t even get any pictures, that’s how tuned in I was. Like so many things of beauty, the image captured in real life – in the moment – is so much more powerful than any picture. The pictures simply don’t do it justice. My heart was filled with so much pride, joy, and contentment. 

Processing Loss

We are still reeling over the loss of our dear friend, Kim. Over the course of the last two weeks we’ve cycled through the stages of grief many times. While our faith is very strong, our human nature still kicks in from time to time. We try to make sense of something so tragic – something we’ll never be able to do. Then, we have moments of remembrance and joy that seem to push back the pain. And, soon thereafter, moments of anger well up in our souls. To anyone out there experiencing such loss, I hope you know that whatever you’re feeling is completely normal. Don’t beat yourself up as you navigate the emotions that come with these tragedies that crop up in your life. Allow yourself to feel in order to heal.

Ahead to New Beginnings

I can see light at the end of the tunnel. While we’re still engaged in a form of litigation, one chapter of that sage comes to a close next Tuesday. While the last couple years have been some of the hardest in my life, I am still encouraged by the road ahead. I am so grateful for all the love, support, and encouragement that so many people extended our family throughout this time. I’ll never forget your kindness. My faith tells me that this road has prepared me for something far greater than I could ever imagine – such has been the case for my entire life. I’m excited to see what God’s hands will lay out for our family in the days to come. And I vow to give my very best to glorify His name through it all.

Wedding Bells

I get to officiate my first wedding this weekend in beautiful Cancun, Mexico.

That’s right, your boy is officially an ordained minister.

I’m so honored that my sister-in-law, my wife’s twin sister, Sandy, and her fiancé, Ricardo, have asked me to be part of their special day in such a way. My heart is so happy that they have found each other. 

Sandy is so much more than an “in-law” to me – she is the sister I never had and I love her dearly. To witness her pure joy and happiness means the world to me. As she will attest, I am very protective of her. She is a phenomenal human and deserves nothing but the very best in life. And, in Ricardo, I can see that she has found that. 

The same goes to Ricardo – he is such a wonderful human with a heart of gold, deserving of the very best in life. And, with Sandy, he’s found that. I’m so excited for them to begin this journey together. 

Rollercoaster of Life

Y’all, isn’t that real life? It’s never really in a straight line. Each day can carry its own unique opportunities and feelings. But I think it is key for us to remember to stand in each of those moments, granting us the space to simply be. So, while this week has been a bit more conflicting than normal…such is life. Understand that life brings with it conflicting emotions and contradictions, but you were made for these moments. We’re not guaranteed that this thing will be smooth and scripted. And, quite honestly, I’m glad…because that would be a pretty boring existence. Feel the pain, but don’t get stuck in it. Embrace the joy and don’t be afraid to share it with others. Love yourself and grant yourself the grace to be.

Weekly With Whitfield – Stories

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As humans, we are drawn to stories. We crave the emotional connection, understanding, and inspiration that a good story offers. Sharing our own stories holds the power to provide these benefits and so more. In fact, storytelling can have positive effects on mental health, social connections, and even physical health.

Recognizing the beauty in, and sharing of, our stories is crucial to personal and collective growth. As James Baldwin once said, “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive or who had ever been alive.” There is a dynamic power in our ability to recognize and share our stories.

Over the past week, I’ve had the chance to listen to a wide range of people’s stories and experiences. The diversity of these tales has been truly fascinating, highlighting the complexity of the human experience. Each story is like a thread in a rich tapestry, weaving together to create a beautiful and intricate pattern of life.

Human Connection

As social beings, humans have an innate desire for connection and belonging. By sharing our stories, we can find common ground and bridge the gaps between individuals from different backgrounds. The power of personal storytelling lies in its ability to create a sense of empathy and understanding, deepening our relationships with others.

Furthermore, when we embrace and celebrate our differences, we can work towards a more unified and collaborative world. Our stories offer a unique perspective and can inspire new ways of thinking, leading to greater innovation and progress.

In today’s increasingly diverse and interconnected world, it is more important than ever to recognize the value of personal storytelling. Our stories have the power to break down barriers, build bridges, and foster a sense of community among all people. Through sharing our experiences and listening to others, we can create a more compassionate and inclusive society.

Healing

Sharing our stories of trauma, grief, or loss can be a powerful tool for emotional healing and personal growth. When we open up about our experiences, we allow ourselves to release the emotional pain that we carry inside. Vocalizing our emotions and thoughts can help us process our feelings, and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our experiences.

Sharing our stories can also help us feel validated and heard, giving us a sense of comfort and support. Hearing the stories of others can be just as impactful in the healing process, providing a sense of shared experience and understanding. By sharing our vulnerabilities, we create a space for empathy and compassion, and encourage others to be open and honest about their own struggles.

Moreover, the act of sharing our stories can help reduce feelings of isolation and shame. By speaking out about our experiences, we show others that they are not alone in their struggles, and that there is no shame in seeking help or support. Ultimately, sharing our stories can be a transformative experience, helping us heal and grow as individuals, while also fostering deeper connections and understanding within our communities.

Inspiration

When we share our stories, we open up a window into our lives, providing a glimpse of our personal struggles, experiences, and triumphs. These stories have the power to inspire and motivate others, igniting a spark of hope that can lead to positive change. By shining a light on important issues and challenges, we can start important conversations and mobilize efforts towards change.

Additionally, our stories can serve as a source of inspiration for those facing similar challenges. Seeing others overcome adversity can provide a sense of hope and encouragement, showing that success is possible even in the face of adversity. Our stories can also provide valuable insights and lessons learned, helping others navigate their own struggles with greater understanding and resilience.

Power

Our stories are powerful tools that hold the capacity to connect us to others, promote healing and growth, and inspire positive change. These stories serve as a testament to the resilience and diversity of the human experience, holding the potential to create a more compassionate world. 

As we embrace each others’ stories, we begin to break down barriers. And on that foundation we can begin to build bridges, fostering deeper connections and understanding. I want to encourage you –  tell your stories with courage, vulnerability, and authenticity. And listen to the stories of others with empathy, compassion, and an open mind and heart. We’re in this together. I can’t wait to hear your story.

Weekly With Whitfield – Love

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There’s no way I could let the week of Valentine’s Day pass and not reflect on love. Believe me, I tried. I didn’t want to be cliche’. But love, as it so often does, captured the essence of the week. That said, Valentine’s Day has generally just been another day for me. Sure, it’s cool to do all the little extra things – the chocolates, flowers, sweet cards, and the likes – but I think most of us know that love can’t be confined to one day or material things. It surrounds us every day.

Love is a beautiful, dynamic force.

Dynamic Love

Speaking of a beautiful, dynamic force, this week we returned from the gorgeous shores of Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, where we were able to celebrate my stunning wife, Kerrie, and her twin sister. We had an amazing time strolling the lush, tropical, expansive spaces of our resort and the magnificent beaches. Along those paths I’d find myself gazing intently at this woman by my side – the love of my life. She is absolutely captivating.

To be loved by such a person is indescribable. Her love is so pure and deep. It wraps me in hope in moments of despair. And brings me unlimited moments of smile-til-your-face-hurts joy. Her love is all encompassing. I love the way it feels to be loved by her. I love her so much. 

On many occasions during our trip we discussed our upcoming milestone anniversary. This year marks 20 years that we’ve been together – 19 married. And in August of 2024 we will be married for 20 years. We chuckled as we reminisced about how much we’ve grown over the course of all those years. Love did that.

We were just two kids in our early 20’s, trying to find our way. I’ll never forget the moment I met her. It was absolutely love at first sight. She has continued to mesmerize me ever since. I am so fortunate to get to share my life with such a beautiful soul. The way she loves is the inspiration for today’s message. 

Love is such a powerful force. To be loved, and to share love, is one of the greatest gifts we can give. It serves, heals, inspires, connects, and transforms. While my example is that of the love of my wife, we know that love has the ability to take on many forms, whether that be romantic, familial, or the love between friends. Regardless of the form, the power of love is undeniable. 

Service

Love leads us to serve. When we feel loved we are more inclined to serve. Service is one of the greatest, most pure, expressions of love. Love calls us to operate with a heart of service to those we encounter throughout our days. 

And it’s reciprocal. Some days you will be the one with the energy and ability to be of service to someone in your space. Then, there will be days when it feels like you have nothing left to give, and someone comes through for you. Love nudges us to be of service to others, without an expectation of anything in return.

Healing

Love heals. When we feel loved, we experience a sense of safety and belonging that allows us to heal from emotional pain and trauma. And if we’re real about it, much of that emotional pain and trauma manifested because of our love for those who inflicted it. I won’t deny that. Love can, most definitely hurt.

But love’s healing powers are strong enough to help us overcome the hurt. Love stands ready to help us defeat feelings of isolation, anxiety, and depression. It wraps us up in comfort as we face the challenges that life may throw our way.

Inspiration

Love inspires. In love, we feel inspired to be our best selves. It pushes us to take risks and wildly pursue our dreams. The love of those around us sparks inspiration for things to come. 

It helps us see beyond our immediate circumstances and on to what may lay ahead for us. And armed with that inspiration, we tend to be  more generous and compassionate towards others. We pay it forward, sparking inspiration in the lives we touch on a daily basis. 

Connection

Love connects. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, besides food, water, and safety, belonging and love stand as two of the most powerful needs we must fulfill. Human connection is paramount to our overall well being. When we experience love, we form deep, meaningful connections with those around us. 

Love allows us to see beyond the differences that seek to divide us and pushes us to connect with each other on a deeper level. This connective power of love can bring people together in a way that nothing else can. All too often it takes tragedy for us to embrace how connected we really are in this experiment called life. We must allow the connective tissue of love to weave its way into our relationships with our families, friends, communities, and the world at large. 

Transformation

Love transforms. The transformative nature of love shifts the way we see ourselves and the world around us. Love contains the essential ingredients to transform our communities, helping us create a more loving, just, and compassionate world. 

When we allow ourselves to embrace love over the alternative, we are able to see past societal-imposed differences. We become transformers – more than meets the eye. Powerful, transformative figures, ready to combat evil and injustice to create a better, brighter world. 

The Power of Love

Love serves, heals, inspires, connects, and transforms. It’s foundational to our relationships with others. And critical to our personal and collective well-being. In a world that can, oftentimes, feel grim and unforgiving, love shines through, lighting our path to brighter days. We simply must continue to reach for it.

Every chance you get, spread love. Especially on the days that may feel darkest. It can be as simple as a phone call or a text expressing how much a loved one means to you. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Chances are, a simple, heartfelt message of love will mean more than any material thing. Sending love and light to you all in the days ahead. Go out and BE LOVE.