Dr. James Whitfield

challenges

Resonance

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The Christmas season always brings forth feelings of deep nostalgia for me. It’s amazing how deeply my early Christmas seasons have left such a profound imprint on my life. 

This time of year was always so very complex in my youth. On one hand, we struggled mightily. And on the other, there was a deep sense of peace and joy. I think of my dear mother most every day of my life, but it always hits differently around the holidays.

A Festive Determination

My mother would pick up extra shifts and work tirelessly to try to make the season more festive in our home. But, most importantly, I was always very aware of the true reason for the season, celebrating the birth of Jesus, who came into this world to live, inspire, bring hope and, ultimately, face persecution so that we shall have a chance at eternity. She made that crystal clear. 

Sing Me a Sweet Melody

Joy filled our little frame house. I’d sit by my mothers side each night on her piano bench. Beautiful melodies reverberated through her fingers, to the piano keys, and into the air, accompanied by her majestic voice. I’d sing my little heart out. In these days of limited technology, we’d record cassette tapes of us singing Christmas carols and hymns to send to my grandparents who we rarely got to see for Christmas, as they were hundreds of miles away. 

The rhythm of this time of year never got old. Ever. I can see it as clear today as then. I can feel it. Perhaps it is these joyous feelings and memories that help to fill the gap of her loss. Her song continues in my soul.

Set Your Pride Aside 

We never had much, by way of earthly possessions. And I was well aware that Santa wouldn’t have enough bandwidth to bring me the things he brought some of the other kids. But I was always grateful for what did show up. I knew that Santa had done all he could and that was fine with me. 

My mother was a very strong-willed person. One of the strongest people I’ve ever known. Despite her resilience, she held her pride in check — never letting it  keep her from accepting help when our family needed it most. This taught me an invaluable lesson: true strength doesn’t lie in having the “I got this” mindset, but in the courage to acknowledge when support is really needed, humbly asking, and graciously accepting.

Always Lend a Helping Hand

Invariably there would come a time where my mom would find someone else who seemed to be in a more precarious position than we were. As a kid I didn’t get it and, like many young kids, I was worried solely about what I needed or wanted, not necessarily the needs of others. It’s not that I didn’t care. I was actually quite a caring young boy. But in the midst of all we faced it was very hard to see beyond. My mother always made sure I did.

She taught me that even when you don’t have much for yourself, much less to offer others, there’s always a way to extend a helping hand. Her heart was rooted in the belief that, regardless of our circumstances, there was always an opportunity to help others. She reminded me, often, that there is always someone else who always has less, and by sharing what we can, we contribute to brightening their day, much like so many had brightened ours. Through her example, I learned that the true essence of giving lies not in the magnitude of the offering, but in the intention and love behind it. And as we open our hearts to be mindful of others we create ripples that go far beyond anything we could ever imagine.

Joyful, Joyful Amidst Struggle

My mother always showed me how to find joy amid the struggles of life. In times of adversity, she emphasized the importance of having a spirit of gratitude, reminding me that even in the storms, there is always something to be thankful for. She firmly believed that challenges presented opportunities for personal growth and the discovery of one’s true strength. I can’t tell you the number of times I looked at her and thought “how do you always find a silver lining?” But that’s just what she did, always moving forward with a deep appreciation for the lessons embedded in the chaos. Her lessons and spirit have been a guiding force in my life, leading me to face challenges with resilience and gratitude, echoing her profound wisdom – to find joy even in the midst of trials, growing stronger through them, and to be grateful for the enduring lessons brought forth by them.

My Wish For You

For those who may be experiencing yet another holiday without a dear loved one – or perhaps this is your first season – I extend my love and prayers to you. These moments are, indeed, trying. It is my deepest hope and prayer that, as you navigate the feelings of pain, grief, and loss, you can find your way back to joy. That you can reach back to those beautiful memories and lessons learned. That you find peace in the midst of it all. 

You deserve it. And I know, without question, those who have gone before you are smiling down right now, nodding in agreement. Sending peace, comfort, love, light, and strength your way in this season and all the days of your life. 

Gratitude

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I’ve thought a lot this week about how fortunate I am to be here. At this stage of life I find myself reflecting more and more on the graces I’ve been afforded, and just how much of a miracle it is that I’m even here to write these words. I’m filled with gratitude.

Upbringing

I grew up in Midland, Texas. No stranger to tumbleweeds, dust storms, and tornado warnings that never seemed to materialize. I was also no stranger to all the nefarious elements that come with being a pivotal point along a main thoroughfare for illicit drugs heading to the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. It was a wildly chaotic childhood and hard to imagine when, where, or how life could be better.

Movin’ on Up

When I was heading into middle school I learned my family was moving to another house, two streets over. The house we lived in was crumbling, we were behind on our rent, and it was just past time for us to leave. This place held pain, toxicity, and nightmares. My mother told me we were moving from this house at the “T” of Comanche and Eisenhower to “a house on the corner on Kiowa Drive.” I was excited to hear of this new place. 

Armed with this notice, I rode my bike over to Kiowa. I knew there weren’t many neighborhood kids over there – most all of us were strewn up and down Comanche – and I had to see what was going on over there. I remember seeing a house on the corner – an off white, brick house with a couple of nice trees in the front yard. “We hit the jackpot, I thought” If this house looks anything on the inside like it does on the outside, we’re movin’ on up! 

I quickly rode home, threw my bike down in the yard, and hurried inside to ask my mom “mom, you said ‘house on the’ corner, right?”

“Yes”, she plainly responded. 

I shouted “YES” and gave my mom a great big hug. She reciprocated but I could tell she was a bit thrown off by my excitement over this new place. Upon the move, I would understand why.

The Move

As we rounded the corner of Eisenhower onto Kiowa drive, I looked out in the distance to that house on the corner on the south side of the street. I was locked in. As we got closer I could feel it. I tried to envision the layout and how it would feel as I walked in. My imagination didn’t get to run wild for long, as the truck came to a stop on the north side of the street, just the other side of a large pasture. I looked out the window to the house we’d pulled up to. A salmon colored, frame house that looked to be on its last leg thinking “what’s this?”

The truck was thrust into park and everyone got out. I thought ‘ok, maybe we’re just parking here but we’re really taking stuff over there (to the white brick house). Nope, that would not be the case. This place, with a dirt front yard, seemingly one step from being condemned, would be the house we called home for the entirety of the rest of my life in Midland, TX.

A Heartbreaking Revelation

I’ll spare you the details of what that house held as surprises when we got inside. There’s far too much to describe here. I was devastated. For the better part of the last week, with pride, I’d shown my friends the house I thought I’d be moving to. It wasn’t so much a “brag” as it was “can you believe this?” type deal. I was excited to finally not be embarrassed to have friends over to my house. And they were so excited for me. And all of that was crushed as I entered my new house and saw what awaited. 

I found out later that we’d been evicted from the other house and this was the best we could find that would allow us to remain in the area, where I wouldn’t have to change schools. 

Two Houses, Two Worlds

I never stepped foot in the white brick house, but I can still envision the thoughts I had as we turned up that road towards it. As I look back on it, the house wasn’t anything super-special. But from my limited understanding of what could be, that place was a mansion. 

I have a blueprint of that old salmon colored house, with all the chaos it embodied, imprinted in my brain. That place represented so much of what I never wish for anyone to endure at any point in their life. 

I’ve never forgotten either of those houses. Those two places, a stones throw apart, represented an interesting dichotomy of life for me at an early age. It was so wild to have something I deeply desired squarely within view, but completely unable to attain. Within reach, but so far away. 

I knew how I didn’t want to live. And what I hoped for in the future, despite not having a clue as to how I’d make that dream a reality. 

Beyond the Brick and Mortar: A Journey of Hope, Guidance, and Gratitude

Yes, I’m in that brick home now. But it’s really about something much deeper than the material building that was so important to me as a child. It was the hope of something different, more hopeful and brighter, that the house symbolized for me. Along my journey, I’ve been blessed to have so many amazing people, guiding me towards a more hopeful, brighter place in life. 

From several coaches and teachers, to the random kindness of strangers, to colleagues, students, and families, to my loving family – I consider myself so fortunate. While the road has been marred with plenty of pain, chaos, and trauma, there’s also been moments of joy, clarity, and comfort. I think, to varying degrees, that’s the case for most of us. 

We’re all faced with disappointment, discontent, and hopelessness at some point along the plot line of our lives. And then, somewhere along the way, we’re given a glimpse of hope. A glimpse of what could be, and a sense of purpose, pushing us forward. 

I encourage you to continue to look for that hope and purpose in the midst of your trials. It may not be the brick house on the corner you thought was yours. You may be stuck in the chaos and pain of the moment. It seems unending and out of control. But never let your current circumstances limit your future possibilities. Trust that this season is preparing you for something greater than you ever imagined.

Weekly With Whitfield – Transition

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As we make our way from one space to the next over the course of our lives, there are always a transition periods. During those moments of transition, all too often, there’s a great swirl of emotions that churn within us. And the way we navigate those emotions is critical to the outcomes those transitional moments bring.

The Challenge of Change 

Change can be challenging. Learning new things presents new and unique opportunities. Getting to know the new faces takes a lot of energy and intentional focus. Transitioning from that which you were very familiar with to something new presents you with daily moments of learning, application, and reflection. 

And these are all wonderful things! I firmly believe that it is in these moments throughout the course of our lives that we grow the most. Comfort and familiarity seems all well and good. But it is during these transitional periods that we really find out what we’re made of.

Unexpected Transitions

Roughly two years ago I began a transition that I never anticipated. In a matter of days, my entire life was flipped upside down. All of a sudden, I was thrust into the national spotlight answering calls from The New York Times, NBC, The Washington Post, and the likes.

In an instant, I went from someone who was very “don’t make the 6 o’clock news” to “let’s use the news to highlight what’s happening here and bring awareness” – something I was unfamiliar with and, if I’m honest, rather uncomfortable with. But, seeing as though I grew up in an environment where I was forced to fight through various things that came my way, I knew only one course of action…TO FIGHT.

As I transitioned to a new world of media engagements and advocacy I felt discombobulated. This space looked and felt quite different than showing up at school each day surrounded by the staff and students I adored. I felt empty and alone. I felt disconnected and depressed. This transition was not something I’d planned for, nor desired, yet here I was.

Embrace the Unknown

Over time I would find my footing. What helped the most was looking into the eyes of the people who love me most, my family. Over time I would come to reframe the situation. This transition would not be something happening to me. Rather, I would turn this on its head and take what was meant for my detriment into something positive for my family and the greater global community. 

I put my head down and started on projects I’d once considered, but never did. One of those projects was writing a book and, boy, do I have a doozy in the works to shine a light on what so many educators across the country are facing. I won’t share too much now but I can’t wait until it’s time to send that out into the world. 

Family Support

Most importantly, though, I looked at this as an opportunity to be there for my family in a way that I’d never been able to over the course of my career. Those who know me, know – I only know one way to be a teacher/coach/administer – and that’s FULL FORCE! I give my all to every school I’ve had the pleasure of serving. And, while I have the most amazing and understanding family support system, I know that, oftentimes, they took what was left of me after many of those long, challenging days serving in public schools.

Personal Growth

Slowly, I got out of bed a bit quicker, I calmed my bitterness and frustration, and I leaned into being ON for my family. That’s not to say that disappointment, frustration, bitterness, and anger did not rear their ugly heads over time. They did. If I told you the amount of times I heard people say I’d never work in public education in the metroplex again. If I heard it once, I heard it a hundred times. And I’m talking from folks in pretty high-up places in various districts across the DFW. And every time it had nothing to do with who I was. No, that was intact, well known, and even desired by many of these people. Yet the lack of intestinal fortitude kept many from taking a leap of faith for fear of a small group of hateful, bigoted, intolerant people. It’s been both an eye-opening and disappointing realization that some who claim to be in this work for kids and educators are really more interested in political positioning and harmful games.

Overcoming Adversity

But I would not let this consume me. In reality, I dodged a bullet with those who were afraid of the “bogeyman backlash”, as I sure did not want to end up in a situation where I was serving for a leader who lacked courage, integrity, and conviction. So I embraced the transition and chose to make the most of the challenges presented to me. I poured into my family, advocacy work that took me to the halls of Congress, and partnering with educators, higher education institutions and other organizations across the country. When you’re from where I’m from you’ve learned to make magic out of mess. 

New Beginnings

A few weeks ago, I turned the page on that chapter of life – a chapter that has been more like an entire crazy book. And now I’ve transitioned to a new, beautiful chapter… back in a beautiful school, doing what I love. This transition comes with a new role, a role that entails leading a small, but mighty, district made up of roughly 400 students K-12. It’s such a special place – the acres of tall, big trees, the winding creek, and, most importantly, THE PEOPLE. Everyone has been so warm and welcoming. They’ve made this transition smoother than I ever could’ve imagined. I’m forever grateful that God made this possible. What some meant for harm, He turned to good. 

So as you make the twists and turns of the various transition points in life, give yourself the grace to feel, learn, and grow. As tough as the terrain may be at the moment, always know that you don’t have to walk that rocky road alone. Be still and reflect on ways to reframe and reload to propel yourself forward towards brighter days. I’m rooting for you in all your days ahead.

Weekly With Whitfield – Conflicted

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This week has been filled with conflicting emotions. Generally, it’s been positive and productive. But I’d be lying if I told you positivity stayed throughout the week. Thankfully, joy has outweighed pain, but as I searched for what to write about today I’ve been very, very conflicted.

Family Pool Days

We had the chance to have a backyard full of friends and family this past Sunday afternoon. I spent the day sweltering over the grill in the 100 plus degree Texas heat. But, man, was it worth it. In the hustle and bustle of daily life it is hard to nail down the whole extended family but, on this day, we did. Through my sweat-stinging eyes, I looked around that backyard and just took it in. I didn’t even get any pictures, that’s how tuned in I was. Like so many things of beauty, the image captured in real life – in the moment – is so much more powerful than any picture. The pictures simply don’t do it justice. My heart was filled with so much pride, joy, and contentment. 

Processing Loss

We are still reeling over the loss of our dear friend, Kim. Over the course of the last two weeks we’ve cycled through the stages of grief many times. While our faith is very strong, our human nature still kicks in from time to time. We try to make sense of something so tragic – something we’ll never be able to do. Then, we have moments of remembrance and joy that seem to push back the pain. And, soon thereafter, moments of anger well up in our souls. To anyone out there experiencing such loss, I hope you know that whatever you’re feeling is completely normal. Don’t beat yourself up as you navigate the emotions that come with these tragedies that crop up in your life. Allow yourself to feel in order to heal.

Ahead to New Beginnings

I can see light at the end of the tunnel. While we’re still engaged in a form of litigation, one chapter of that sage comes to a close next Tuesday. While the last couple years have been some of the hardest in my life, I am still encouraged by the road ahead. I am so grateful for all the love, support, and encouragement that so many people extended our family throughout this time. I’ll never forget your kindness. My faith tells me that this road has prepared me for something far greater than I could ever imagine – such has been the case for my entire life. I’m excited to see what God’s hands will lay out for our family in the days to come. And I vow to give my very best to glorify His name through it all.

Wedding Bells

I get to officiate my first wedding this weekend in beautiful Cancun, Mexico.

That’s right, your boy is officially an ordained minister.

I’m so honored that my sister-in-law, my wife’s twin sister, Sandy, and her fiancé, Ricardo, have asked me to be part of their special day in such a way. My heart is so happy that they have found each other. 

Sandy is so much more than an “in-law” to me – she is the sister I never had and I love her dearly. To witness her pure joy and happiness means the world to me. As she will attest, I am very protective of her. She is a phenomenal human and deserves nothing but the very best in life. And, in Ricardo, I can see that she has found that. 

The same goes to Ricardo – he is such a wonderful human with a heart of gold, deserving of the very best in life. And, with Sandy, he’s found that. I’m so excited for them to begin this journey together. 

Rollercoaster of Life

Y’all, isn’t that real life? It’s never really in a straight line. Each day can carry its own unique opportunities and feelings. But I think it is key for us to remember to stand in each of those moments, granting us the space to simply be. So, while this week has been a bit more conflicting than normal…such is life. Understand that life brings with it conflicting emotions and contradictions, but you were made for these moments. We’re not guaranteed that this thing will be smooth and scripted. And, quite honestly, I’m glad…because that would be a pretty boring existence. Feel the pain, but don’t get stuck in it. Embrace the joy and don’t be afraid to share it with others. Love yourself and grant yourself the grace to be.

Weekly With Whitfield – Faith

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Life will always present challenges. Without fail, difficult days are sure to come as we navigate our lives. They come in many forms – from losing a job to facing a serious illness to coping with the death of a loved one, life can seem overwhelming at times. When faced with challenges, it’s easy to feel lost, alone, and afraid. This is where faith kicks in. But, let’s not pretend that faith is some magical potion. Sometimes, it’s hard to find.

Why Faith Escapes Us, At Times

While faith isn’t necessarily magical, it is a powerful thing. Standing in faith gives us hope, strength, and peace in the midst of our struggles. But, at times, faith can seem out of reach for many reasons:

  • Life can be hard. We can become overwhelmed by the moment and lose faith. We question why God would allow us to suffer in such a way. This allows our mind to play tricks on us, making us feel like we are all alone. Then, as we give in to isolation, faith diminishes and despair sets in.
  • We live in a world that is full of confusion and doubt. Whether it’s the news, social media, or even some of our own friends and family, we are often bombarded with messages of doubt. Over time, this toxicity and pessimism can make it hard to have faith in anything.
  • Many of us may have had bad experiences with religion. As I watch the Christian faith become more and more hijacked and weaponized, I’m reminded of so many friends who want nothing to do with religion. Many of them have been hurt by people who claim to be religious. It saddens me to see my faith used as a tool of exclusion, bigotry, and hate. 

A Disclaimer

I’ll start by saying this – I’m a Christian, and I find my strength in Jesus Christ and the promises made in the Bible. I understand that not everyone reading this may be Christian, and that’s ok. It still remains my hope that you are able to use these words, in some way, as you navigate your faith journey. 

Through The Fire

The Bible is full of examples of how faith brings forth the power to overcome. But one that always stands out to me is that of brother Job. He was a righteous man who devoted his life to the service of god. Job held great wealth and had a large family. But one day, his life got flipped upside down.

Satan proposed a challenge to God, saying that Job would only serve Him because he was living a good life. Surely, if Job saw days of strife he’d turn his back on God. But God knew better. So he accepted the challenge and allowed Satan to test Job’s faith by causing him to suffer.

Throughout his trials, our dear brother Job lost everything: his livestock, his servants, his children, and even his health. He was covered in boils and was so sick that he could barely move.

Seeing Job suffering, his friend’s came to visit him – something was terribly off. But instead of extending comfort and grace, many accused him of sinning. Surely Job must have done something wrong to deserve such pain and suffering.

This left Job angry and confused. He could not reconcile or understand why God was allowing such grim days. But through his anger, Job never gave up his faith in God.

Faith Carries

Job’s faith was tested to the limit, but it never broke. He knew that, ultimately, God was still in control, even though he couldn’t answer the question of “why?”. 

His extreme faith offered hope in the midst of despair. That faith gave him the fortitude to press on, even when things seemed at their worst. And, armed with that strong faith, Job had the peace of mind needed to know that everything was gonna be alright in the end. 

Ultimately, God restored Job’s fortunes. He gave him back everything he had lost…and more. And Job went on to live a long and prosperous life.

Job’s story is a reminder that faith can carry us through even the most difficult challenges. When we face suffering, it is easy to lose our way – but we must never forget to face those challenges with an unrelenting faith.

Reflections 

As I think back on life, I’m reminded of so many times where I definitely didn’t understand the struggle I was faced with. Throughout my journey, I faced numerous challenges, starting with trying to break free from an impoverished environment. Then, tragically, losing my mother to leukemia at the age of 19. And, if all those lumps were not enough, the path to enter the education profession was arduous, but I persevered. Then, as I rose in my career, I encountered opposition from individuals with questionable motives, putting my faith to the test repeatedly.

But, through it all, I found solace in the promise of God’s word and provision. While it may have been hard to see in some of those moments, I always knew there was something greater on the other side of the challenges I faced.

Saying Goodbye

This week we faced another great test of faith as we laid one of our dear friends to rest. When something as tragic as this happens we’re left with all sorts of questions and even feelings of anger. As we try to wrap our minds around the senselessness of it all it can become all-consuming. 

But, in the end, I choose to turn to faith. Knowing that our dear friend is at rest in the arms of our Heavenly Father and will see no more pain. I have faith that, one precious day, we will be united with her, and so many of our dear loved ones, when we’re called home. And I have faith that, while she may be gone from this earth, her legacy of protection and advocacy for others will live on in the lives of so many. Our faith has carried us through yet another dark and tragic moment in our lives, and will propel us forward in our unique purpose in the days ahead.

Keep The Faith

If you are facing a challenge in your life, I encourage you to put your faith in God. He is with you, and He will help you to overcome whatever you are facing. Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time in prayer. Refuse to give up. And, remember…this is a team game – you’re not in this alone. I’m rooting for you! Keep the FAITH!

Weekly With Whitfield – Journey

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This week, I celebrated my 45th trip around the sun. I can hardly wrap my mind around the fact that I am now 45 years old. My emotions are all over the place as I reflect on being here to see such a day.  As for most of us, life has been quite the adventurous ride, filled with trials and tribulations. And with each passing year I am filled with immense gratitude. As I reflect on the journey I can’t help but stand in complete awe of God’s grace, mercy, and steadfast love. As I looked around at the party that gathered at the restaurant I was consumed with feelings of warmth, gratitude, love, and joy. Good friends, my baby brother, my children, my beautiful bride – what more could a guy ask for? 

Thank you, Lord!

Out of the Darkness

As a young boy, I felt as though I’d never grow old. At least I couldn’t envision it. 

How the hell would I get there?

Time seemed to tick along, ever so slowly, as we navigated the challenges of daily life. 

I couldn’t see beyond the day. Try as I may, it was hard to envision brighter days. I was surrounded by chaos and often felt as though things may have been better for everyone if I’d never been born. 

As I lay in my bed each night I’d envision a world that didn’t include me. And, while I never contemplated taking my own life, the questioning of my existence, my purpose, persisted:

What is the meaning of this?

Why am I here?

Why so much pain, conflict, and struggle?

Those questions, and so many more, found their way into the recesses of my mind in the still of the night under the cover of darkness. Thankfully, along the way, God blessed me with so many people who saw me, believed in me, nurtured me, and loved me through the mess. As I celebrated my 45th birthday, surrounded by loved ones who’ve been part of this journey, I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of gratitude. Throughout my life, the people I’ve met, experiences I’ve lived, and the challenges I’ve overcome that helped that poor little boy from Midland, TX to resoundingly answer those questions of his existence. 

Embrace the Journey

Life’s journey is so very unpredictable. I have learned to embrace the beauty that lies in that. Each twist and turn presents a chance to learn and grow. And as I step into this next chapter, I carry with me the lessons learned, excited for the road ahead. 

On my birthday week, my wish for you is to embrace the journey, cherish every moment, and celebrate the beauty of this complex, yet beautiful, life. Don’t stop believin’!

 

Weekly With Whitfield – Puzzles

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Life keeps us on our toes. One week you write about hope and the next week you encounter something that makes you feel hopeless. Sometimes those feelings change day to day. Sometimes hour to hour. But here’s what you know – this feeling won’t last forever. It’s just part of the process as we pull together the puzzle pieces of our lives.

Doris Sumner – My Ma

My Grandmother, affectionately known as “Ma”, loved puzzles. My little brother and I moved in with my Grandmother shortly after our Mother passed away in 1997. In her home we found hope and consistency. This place held so much love and comfort. The home encapsulated all of whom Ma was. 

We lost Ma in 2021, but I think of her often. Almost daily, I feel slight nudges from her. The nudges come strongest when I find myself feeling down. I can almost sense her soft, frail, hand pushing my chin up, ever so slightly, directing me to look forward.

Her presence prompted the very words that flow here. The past couple years have been chaotic, to say the least. I won’t delve into all the chaos – there’s plenty out there to read. But what I want to share, here, is a note about life and one of the many lessons Mrs. Doris Sumner, my Ma, taught me – likely without even knowing it.

Ma’s Place

Ma lived in a small, brick, three bedroom, two bath home in Itasca, TX. Rarely did anyone enter through the front door. Instead, we entered through the garage door that led through a breezeway, then through her bedroom, to a hallway that would take you to the living room and kitchen that were on the other end of the house. 

I can see every inch of it as clearly today as the last day I entered years ago. I smell the pot roast cooking. And I can still see Ma, sitting at her little card table, pressed against the back of the couch. Instantly, she turns around and says “hey there, kiddo!” with a huge grin on her face. She takes a quick break from her task at-hand – the puzzle spread across the table – to give me the greatest hug.

Ma loved puzzles. Like, huge puzzles with thousands of pieces. She’d sit for hours working on them. And when I found her at that table I didn’t miss an opportunity to join her. We had some deep conversations while working on those puzzles. As I reflect on those moments I realize that all those beautiful puzzles serve as a metaphor for life.

The Complex Puzzle of Life

Life is a massive puzzle. Only, there is no box with a picture of what the outcome should be. As we begin the journey, pieces are scattered about. There is no rhyme, reason, or identified purpose. Random parts, with hopes of coming together.

Corner Pieces

Then, slowly, our foundations form. We sleep through the night – a corner piece in place. We graduate to solid foods – another corner piece locked in. Our first words come dribbling out – boom, third corner piece secured. Before you know it, we graduate from making a mess of ourselves – we’re potty trained – locking in that last, and ever-so-critical, corner piece. Those corner pieces are foundational to launching us into life. 

The Edges

As we venture out into this new world we play with the edges – the boundaries within which the rest of the puzzle must come together. And, while this can be a bit of a challenge, the boundaries tend to make themselves readily evident. These edges serve as our values. Their clean, sharp edges provide guidance, but we’re left to sort the rest out along our way. Who we are, and who we’ll become, is impacted by the edges.

The Center

Now we start to play with the pieces in the center and things get more complex. Like a puzzle, life can be complicated and challenging. Each piece, a different experience, lesson, or opportunity along the way. And how we put these pieces together determines the outcomes.

Puzzles can be frustrating. We struggle to find the right piece that may have slid off the table, hiding under our shoe. Sometimes it appears as though a piece should fit, then when you try to force it in, it doesn’t. We become overwhelmed with the sheer number of pieces strewn across the table – it may appear that several critical ones may be missing. But as we keep after it, the bigger picture slowly comes into focus, and each piece slides into place.

Life can be downright frustrating. Adversity, setbacks, and various obstacles crop up along our journey. Oftentimes, these challenges seem insurmountable at the moment. That feeling that something’s “off” wells up inside of us and we often freeze. Each time we try to get going again we seemingly don’t know where to start. But as we push through, the bigger picture of our lives becomes more clear. Each experience serves as an essential element to make sense of it all.

Team Game

Working those puzzles with Ma was always a team game. And such is life. One of the best parts of puzzles and life is that we don’t have to do them alone. We can always get a fresh set of eyes on an issue when we’re stuck. We just need to ask. A new perspective can help us envision brighter possibilities. And we can work together to create something beautiful.

As you navigate the puzzles of life I hope that you’ll pause every so often to find the joy in the process. While it can be messy and frustrating, when it starts to come together you’ll be amazed at what you are able to see at that point. 

And as quickly as amazement appears, along will come another piece to that puzzle that will likely leave you bewildered. And that’s ok. Remember, you are not alone. Grab a friend or loved one. Sit them at your table. And work together to create something more beautiful than you ever imagined. 

– Dedication – 

Ma, thank you for always having a seat at your puzzle table ready for me. Thank you for pouring into my life in the way that you did. Thank you for helping me piece together some very broken pieces to my life’s puzzle. Those frayed edges serve as valuable lessons. I’m thankful for every one of them. And I have no doubt that the picture of my life at this moment would look very different without your love, support, and guidance along the way. I miss you and love you dearly, my forever puzzle partner.