Dr. James Whitfield

motivation

Still

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This week I found out that I will be a Grandfather to a precious baby girl next summer. As we watched the video of their adorable gender reveal, chills ran through my body. As the slice of cake transitions from black and white to reveal the pink center, my heart melts. I am going to be a girl grandpa!

Be Still and Commit to the Process

I swear I had my final reflective word for 2023 picked out for about a month now. It was gonna be something real sly to cap off the year. But now, equipped with this marvelous revelation, I was reminded of one of the strongest lessons this whole process has taught me – don’t get too far ahead of yourself. It defeats the purpose of being in a state of true reflection. Just BE STILL in the moment and allow yourself the space to simply BE.

When I began this journey I thought the biggest challenge would be actually finding the time to actually write it. While there have been times where I got the piece out on a Saturday instead of a Friday, each week I found ways to get it done. I was committed to the process.

There were a few weeks where writer’s block kicked in. Several weeks were largely a blur, and there just didn’t seem to be anything that really jumped out. It was in those moments where I realized there was a need to dig deeper, beyond surface reflections. I also came to rest, knowing that each week didn’t have to be some profound, life-changing reflection. Sometimes it was just a simple lesson I may have been reminded of, a family member I’d thought about, the love and appreciation I have for my wife, or the deep love and gratitude that comes with being a father. 

Over time, it became what it was supposed to be – a truly reflective journey. It didn’t have to be some cataclysmic event that happened in the world, or to me. It could be as simple as embracing the time and space to sit, think, feel, and be. To say this year has been transformative in this sense is an understatement. Quite honestly, I could not have written a more fitting script to finish out this year’s journey. 

Grandpa Era

I’m so excited to embark on the new year. I know that 2024 will bring about a new, beautiful transformation as I enter my Grandpa Era. My grandparents are no longer with us. Kerrie’s have passed on, as well. In our small, close-knit family, the only grandparent that’s around for our children is Kerrie’s mother, Colleen. Both of our fathers live out of state and we don’t get an opportunity to see them much at all. And there is not a day that passes that I don’t think about how much of a presence my mother would be in Jordan, Lauren, and Landon’s lives. 

It’s quite perplexing how some who have every opportunity to be involved in their grandchildren’s lives will find every opportunity not to. Then you have those who you know would give their last breath for their grandchildren, yet they have no breath left to give. I know that’s just the way life goes, but the irony can be infuriatingly confusing.

Through it all, I can only control what I can control. And that is simply being who I need to be for my family. By no means a perfect man, but a steady, positive presence in the lives of the people I love. 

Long ago I came to the realization that it’s not necessarily others who disappoint us. It’s our expectations of others to do something that is simply beyond their capacity that disappoints us. So, with that, I choose to lean into it, control what I can control, let go of resentment, love from afar, and be for my family that which I longed for as a child, young man, and now, as an adult. 

None of this ever came down to earthly possessions for me. The person who loved me more than anything in this world had nothing material to leave me when she left the earth. But what she did leave was her spirit of love, affection, and compassion. She left her relentless work ethic and tenacity for standing up for those in need. She left me her joy in the face of adversity, her ability to take notice, and celebrate the small things in life. My mother left me with a legacy that dwells deep within my soul. She sits here with me, today, on what would be my mother’s 67th birthday, putting the final touches on my last reflective piece of 2023. Happy Birthday, Mama! I love you! Thank you for continuing to guide my hand in all things!

Transitioning to What’s Next

This has been one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done…and that’s coming from someone who’s undergone the grueling beast of completing a pretty arduous doctoral program. I’ve tried to keep it as authentic and raw as I possibly could. There were moments of joy, pain, chaos, clarity, peace, conflict, anger, frustration, comfort, learning, unlearning, and everything in between. And isn’t that life? This journey has left an indelible impact on the way I will navigate the next chapters that unfold. 

Many asked if I will continue these weekly reflections. I’ve yet to land on a firm answer to that question, but it definitely is my plan to continue to grow as a writer. And, with that, comes a lot of writing.

Prior to January of this year, much of my writing was in isolation – for my eyes only – hyper-focused on capturing my experience since July of 2021, when our world absolutely imploded. It has always been my hope to partner with a publisher, at some point, to tell that story. Not so much the story the media wanted to run with, but the real story that needs to be shared. A narrative that helps shine a light on what truly plagues our communities, and how we build a meaningful way forward for our kids and each other.

This year has given me the space to take a step back from a trauma-filled last couple years. This process has slowly allowed me to reclaim pieces of me that had been beaten, battered, and stripped away. While the healing continues to this day, I am in a much better place through taking this year’s journey. I have started the process of narrowing down prospective agents to help guide this endeavor and I am excited to see what’s next!

Acknowledgments

I want to thank you all for joining me on this crazy journey. Even those who may have just popped in for one or two blogs – I appreciate you. I hope you found something that resonated with you. 

Some of you have been consistent partners in this endeavor to complete this journey. Truly, my biggest cheerleaders. Each week you’ve left feedback on my website or you’ve made comments when I’ve posted my musing is in longform on social media. There are far too many of you to thank individually. Please know that I am forever grateful for you. 

To my amazing wife, Kerrie – thank you so much for always believing in me and pushing me on towards things I once thought impossible. You inspire me every day. I am so very fortunate to have you by my side on this magically wild ride through life. You are my rock, my best friend, my everything! I love you!

To my children, Jordan, Lauren, and Landon – you are God’s greatest gifts. I’m so honored to be your father. It has been such a joy to watch your journeys unfold; each so very unique, yet similar, at the same time. You enrich my life in more than I can put together in words. Thank you for being my north star, my loves! I’m forever in your corner!

The Gift of the Next Chapter 

Every day. Each week. Each month that we get is truly a gift, no matter where we may land on the spinning wheel of emotion and circumstances. Sooner or later, things will get better. And, in a moment, things can get worse. But the wheel will keep on turning. 

It is my deepest hope and prayer that as you navigate the days and weeks ahead is that you will grant yourself the grace to be still in the moments. Whether good or bad, there are lessons to be learned but so often we’re too busy trying to move to the next leg of the journey that we miss them. 

Make time to reflect often. It doesn’t have to be a blog post. It could be a sticky note, a note on your phone, a text to a loved one with your thoughts – it can be whatever. But make the time to practice self-reflection. I encourage you to make a habit of it. Set a frequent reminder to do so to begin. Over time, I guarantee you’ll find yourself more dialed in than you’ve ever been and you won’t need the reminder.

For many of us, we will be embarking on new endeavors as the calendar year turns. For some (myself included), it will be the all too familiar chase of better health in the new year. Others may be looking to transition to a new career path or promotional aspirations. There’s a couple (or two) out there who are venturing out into the new waters of a serious relationship. And some families out there are looking to become first time parents.

In all situations, trust the process. There will be times of frustration. There will be times that things are going smoothly. And there will be times where it will seem frustratingly smooth. It’s all part of your unique journey towards what’s next for you. I can’t wait to see what the new year brings you! 

Thanks again for being here! Wishing you peace and abundance in your next chapter, and beyond!

 

Adaptability

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The water rushes in, pushing up through the asphalt and out onto the front lawn of one of our buildings.

Our nearby creek rapidly fills as the water crashes over the banks, onto the stone wall below, and into the once calm flowing waters. The water climbs at an alarming rate, and I fear the worst – our building is going to flood. And the road that is impacted is a main thoroughfare between the two sides of our expansive campus.

Standing on the road above the rushing water, I connect with emergency services, who quickly dispatch a police officer to close off the road. A water main had burst and, within the hour, city services were out to attempt to slow the flow of water.

A Test of Flexibility

It’s just before dismissal, and nothing about normal operating procedures will be in play. In a moment’s notice, everything has flipped upside down, and we have to just figure it out.

I’ll spare you the logistical gymnastics that our staff, students, and families had to navigate from last Friday evening until Wednesday afternoon of this past week; but anyone who has ever been through, or worked, a car rider line at a school knows how critical routines and procedures are to this process. This promised to be a test of our flexibility. And we passed that test with flying colors, as a community.

Our Response Matters

This event is symbolic of so many of life’s chaotic moments. Throughout our life, we are faced with various challenges. Some greater than others, but challenges, nonetheless. And what I’ve found to be true through these moments is that it is our response that makes all the difference in the world. Challenges don’t care about our schedules or plans; they arrive unannounced, demanding our full attention. Yet, it’s not the challenge itself that defines us; it’s our response.

When these events arise, we’re on stage. People may be looking to us to gauge how they should feel or respond. I know that may sound strange, but it’s true. Think of it this way:

A toddler falls and scrapes their knee on the playground. Immediately, they look to their parent or caregiver and begin to gauge “ok, how bad is this?” If the parent/caregiver jumps up and screams bloody murder, the kid begins to scream. If the parent/caregiver remains cool, calm, and collected, chances are, the child mimicked that very behavior. They’re watching to see how we respond.

Leadership in Crisis

It’s much the same in society. When these events play out, people are watching to see how we respond. Are we losing our ever-loving mind, wandering aimlessly? Or are we cool, calm, and collected, managing the crisis? These moments stand as a test of leadership. The response to chaos and/or conflict sends a resounding message to those who look to us for guidance.

And, many times, that is within our own homes. Kids mimicking our behavior. They hang on to every word. Even though it doesn’t seem like it most of the time, they are listening and watching how we respond. In doing so, they are capturing deep, impactful lessons on how to deal with chaos, disagreement, and conflict. And They will carry these lessons forward as they navigate the days ahead.

So, as we’re met with these moments, we must capitalize on the teachable moments they bring both in our homes and in society as a whole.

There’s Power in the Pause 

Take time to pause when met with the moment. So often we’re quick to rush into panic mode, and rarely does that serve us well. Instead, give yourself a moment to take a deep breath, collect yourself, and reflect. You’ll find a deeper sense of clarity as to how to proceed.

Communication is Key

The way you communicate in these moments is key. Clear, calm, and consistent communication helps create a sense of serenity. Even if you don’t have all the answers, communicate that. People will appreciate the vulnerability you’ve shown by addressing the fact that you don’t have it all figured out. The worst thing you can do is pretend you do, or share information too early that may be counter to the realities that may lie ahead. Share what you know. Acknowledge what you don’t know. And assure them that, as soon as you do know, you’ll let them know. Then communicate when you do. Most every time I’ve seen things go off the rails, whether in moments of chaos or not, it comes down to communication gaps. Never underestimate the powerful role communication plays. Additionally, remember that communication is not only about what we say; it’s our body language and tone, as well. 

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

In these moments, it’s critical to rally the troops. You cannot get through these times of chaos alone. It takes a concerted team effort to successfully navigate these times. Lean on your people. Collaborate with them to find viable solutions. Empower them to lead in their respective spaces. And trust them to perform. Collaboration is key to successfully navigating the turbulence. Your team will come out stronger on the other side.

Smile

Don’t be afraid to smile. Sure, this may be a crazy challenge before you, but your ability to smile through it will reverberate through the community you serve. Remember, communication has a great deal to do with body language and a smile…well…it’s really hard to not smile back at someone who is smiling at you. So, while the winds may have shifted, and this moment may be tough, our ability to smile through it helps strengthen our resolve.

Reflection

The challenges that crop up along our journey can be unrelenting and paralyzing at times. While this is, in no way, an exhaustive list of the skills and mindset required to navigate these scenarios effectively, they have been elements that have helped me on my journey. And it is my hope that possibly, in some small way, they may help you. As we round out the week I’d like to challenge you to reflect on the latest “water main break” in your life. Ask yourself:

What did the people who count on me see from me through that challenge?

How did I communicate?

What did I do well?

What could I have done better?

Reflection is key to growth. And if we’re honest with ourselves in answering those questions, growth will come.

I am so grateful you’ve joined me on this journey throughout 2023. Thanks for being here.

Gratitude

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I’ve thought a lot this week about how fortunate I am to be here. At this stage of life I find myself reflecting more and more on the graces I’ve been afforded, and just how much of a miracle it is that I’m even here to write these words. I’m filled with gratitude.

Upbringing

I grew up in Midland, Texas. No stranger to tumbleweeds, dust storms, and tornado warnings that never seemed to materialize. I was also no stranger to all the nefarious elements that come with being a pivotal point along a main thoroughfare for illicit drugs heading to the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. It was a wildly chaotic childhood and hard to imagine when, where, or how life could be better.

Movin’ on Up

When I was heading into middle school I learned my family was moving to another house, two streets over. The house we lived in was crumbling, we were behind on our rent, and it was just past time for us to leave. This place held pain, toxicity, and nightmares. My mother told me we were moving from this house at the “T” of Comanche and Eisenhower to “a house on the corner on Kiowa Drive.” I was excited to hear of this new place. 

Armed with this notice, I rode my bike over to Kiowa. I knew there weren’t many neighborhood kids over there – most all of us were strewn up and down Comanche – and I had to see what was going on over there. I remember seeing a house on the corner – an off white, brick house with a couple of nice trees in the front yard. “We hit the jackpot, I thought” If this house looks anything on the inside like it does on the outside, we’re movin’ on up! 

I quickly rode home, threw my bike down in the yard, and hurried inside to ask my mom “mom, you said ‘house on the’ corner, right?”

“Yes”, she plainly responded. 

I shouted “YES” and gave my mom a great big hug. She reciprocated but I could tell she was a bit thrown off by my excitement over this new place. Upon the move, I would understand why.

The Move

As we rounded the corner of Eisenhower onto Kiowa drive, I looked out in the distance to that house on the corner on the south side of the street. I was locked in. As we got closer I could feel it. I tried to envision the layout and how it would feel as I walked in. My imagination didn’t get to run wild for long, as the truck came to a stop on the north side of the street, just the other side of a large pasture. I looked out the window to the house we’d pulled up to. A salmon colored, frame house that looked to be on its last leg thinking “what’s this?”

The truck was thrust into park and everyone got out. I thought ‘ok, maybe we’re just parking here but we’re really taking stuff over there (to the white brick house). Nope, that would not be the case. This place, with a dirt front yard, seemingly one step from being condemned, would be the house we called home for the entirety of the rest of my life in Midland, TX.

A Heartbreaking Revelation

I’ll spare you the details of what that house held as surprises when we got inside. There’s far too much to describe here. I was devastated. For the better part of the last week, with pride, I’d shown my friends the house I thought I’d be moving to. It wasn’t so much a “brag” as it was “can you believe this?” type deal. I was excited to finally not be embarrassed to have friends over to my house. And they were so excited for me. And all of that was crushed as I entered my new house and saw what awaited. 

I found out later that we’d been evicted from the other house and this was the best we could find that would allow us to remain in the area, where I wouldn’t have to change schools. 

Two Houses, Two Worlds

I never stepped foot in the white brick house, but I can still envision the thoughts I had as we turned up that road towards it. As I look back on it, the house wasn’t anything super-special. But from my limited understanding of what could be, that place was a mansion. 

I have a blueprint of that old salmon colored house, with all the chaos it embodied, imprinted in my brain. That place represented so much of what I never wish for anyone to endure at any point in their life. 

I’ve never forgotten either of those houses. Those two places, a stones throw apart, represented an interesting dichotomy of life for me at an early age. It was so wild to have something I deeply desired squarely within view, but completely unable to attain. Within reach, but so far away. 

I knew how I didn’t want to live. And what I hoped for in the future, despite not having a clue as to how I’d make that dream a reality. 

Beyond the Brick and Mortar: A Journey of Hope, Guidance, and Gratitude

Yes, I’m in that brick home now. But it’s really about something much deeper than the material building that was so important to me as a child. It was the hope of something different, more hopeful and brighter, that the house symbolized for me. Along my journey, I’ve been blessed to have so many amazing people, guiding me towards a more hopeful, brighter place in life. 

From several coaches and teachers, to the random kindness of strangers, to colleagues, students, and families, to my loving family – I consider myself so fortunate. While the road has been marred with plenty of pain, chaos, and trauma, there’s also been moments of joy, clarity, and comfort. I think, to varying degrees, that’s the case for most of us. 

We’re all faced with disappointment, discontent, and hopelessness at some point along the plot line of our lives. And then, somewhere along the way, we’re given a glimpse of hope. A glimpse of what could be, and a sense of purpose, pushing us forward. 

I encourage you to continue to look for that hope and purpose in the midst of your trials. It may not be the brick house on the corner you thought was yours. You may be stuck in the chaos and pain of the moment. It seems unending and out of control. But never let your current circumstances limit your future possibilities. Trust that this season is preparing you for something greater than you ever imagined.

Weekly With Whitfield – Unity

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I have a love/hate relationship with airports. I didn’t take my first flight until I was a young adult. To that point, all of my travel had been on that gray dog – Greyhound. As a kid, my mother and I would ride the Greyhound bus line from Midland (TX) to Dallas (TX), in the summer and, sometimes, over Christmas break. My Grandmother would pick us up at the Greyhound station and off we went to her home in the tiny town of Itasca (TX).

Greyhound Adventures: Childhood Curiosity

Riding the bus from Midland to Dallas (and back) was a lengthy ride, often going far out of the way of what the most direct route would be. But, even with that, I enjoyed my time on those bus rides. After I talked my mother’s ear off, I went up and down the aisle talking to whoever would engage with me. And my mom could finally dig into whatever book she’d brought along. Other than the long ride, the process was easy – you showed up, they loaded your bags, you got on the bus, rode to your destination, then quickly retrieved your bags on the other end. Easy-peasy. 

I’ve always been fascinated with people. Even as a young boy I was more interested in the invisible bags that people carry over the ones that were thrown under the bus. I remember looking around the bus and finding my “marks” as soon as I got on that bus. And, often, I had located them in the bus terminal. My sense of curiosity ran wild:

Who’s sitting by themself?

They have long hair, I wonder how long it took them to grow that out?

He has a Walkman, I wonder what kind of music he’s listening to?

She looks very sad. I wonder what happened?

Wonder upon wonder ran through my mind. Not that I wanted to interview all these people. Trust me, momma wasn’t about to let me act a fool on that bus like that. But it never stopped me from wondering and caring, while doing so at a distance.

ASALH: An Inspiring Immersion

This week I presented on a panel in Jacksonville, FL at the 108th annual conference for the Association for the Study of African American Life and History. ASALH was founded by Carter G. Woodson, the father of Black History Month (which actually started as Negro History Week in February of 1926). It was truly an immersive, inspiring, and invigorating experience. I will try to capture  the essence of my short visit to the conference in a subsequent blog. But, for today, I’d like to capture a bit of how my childhood fascination with people and their stories continues to unfold over the course of my travels.

Navigating the Airport: An Anxious Experience

I don’t know about you, but going through security at the airport these days stresses me out. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for the many folks working hard to keep us safe but, my goodness, every time I walk up to that conveyor belt my anxiety rises.

Does everything go in a bucket, or do the bags stay out on the belt?

Do I need to take my laptop out, or can I leave it in my backpack?

Hoodie? Do I need to remove it or do I leave it on?

And so much more…

Then it’s time to board the plane…and that’s a whole other ball of confusion. Yes, we all have our group numbers and it should be pretty clear that we all have a ticket, therefore, we are all getting on the plane. But that doesn’t stop the mob of a “line” that forms, spilling out onto the concourse. Everyone is in a desperate rush to get in that “comfy” airplane seat and sit there for however long their flight is. As for me, I sit back and watch. People’s body language says a lot.

A lady walks in front of another lady to get in the boarding lane. The look says it all – “I know you didn’t just jump in front of me!”

A guy who’s clearly had too much to drink (by noon), tries to scan in before his group is called. After a brief engagement with gate agents, he’s almost denied entry onto the flight.

A family with 5 kids of ages (roughly) 2-13 gets into the boarding lane. As they move up in line I can see the look on many faces saying “Oh Lord, please don’t seat me near them!”

There’s a couple who clearly adores each other by the way they look at one another. And the way they can’t keep their hands off each other.

And so many more. But you get my drift. Perfect strangers, we prepare for our journey tens of thousands of feet in the air inside of a metal tube.

Perfect Strangers: Stories at 30,000 Feet

It’s quite fascinating for me to watch the loading on the plane. This process is dependent on cooperation and coordination. While there may be times that are definitely smoother than others, it always seems to work out.

I watch a man help a mother who’s on her own with children to store their belongings in the overhead compartment. Further up the aisle, I see this action several more times – strangers helping strangers store their belongings.  A lady gives up her aisle seat to switch with a father in another row so that he can sit with his precious family. 

As I settle in my seat, I notice the family with all the young children heading my way. I hear murmurs from those around me. As for me, I’m really pulling for them to be in my area. Y’all know I’m all about the kids. They end up seated across the aisle from me, two rows back. You can tell it’s already been a long day for them in preparation for this early afternoon flight. But we all settle in and off we go.

In flight, the man behind me is sawing logs (snoring) and the kids are having a blast, much to the displeasure of many around them. I give huge props to the parents – they tried every trick in the book. 

Community in the Skies: A Microcosm of Society

During the flight I thought about all the stories that were unfolding, simultaneously, throughout that plane. Everyone with their unique life journey, together on this shorter journey through the air. The conversations are rich, even amongst strangers.

While I know that this plan is definitely not a utopia, I believe that most of us are all just trying to navigate life as best we can, from moment to moment, to get to our destination. There are no questions regarding political affiliation or religious preference when the need arose for help with storing luggage. We’re all riding the same plane. It didn’t matter how you got there or what you were getting picked up in, here we are, together for this brief moment in time. People from all walks of life joined this small community. All carrying literal and figurative luggage with us on our trip.

The plane is a microcosm of our communities in our daily lives. We’re all going through something on our way to various destinations and checkpoints along the way. The luggage we carry with us throughout our distinct journeys can be heavy, at times. Our lives can be filled with anxiety as we wait in the TSA checkpoints along the way. At some point, we will encounter people from various walks of life. And we encounter and endure a great many things that may bring us displeasure or discomfort.

Unity in a Divided World

But what I’ve seen to be true over the course of my life is that, the majority of us, simply want what’s best for our families and each other. Trust me, I’m very aware of the forces that exist that seek to steer us from this reality. Whether it’s extremely biased news sources, social media algorithms that force-feed us specific information to keep us in silos, or perhaps just some members of our families or friend group who are dead set on buying into the most far-fetched conspiracies. We’re inundated with things that tell us that we’re so very divided; that we don’t care for each other and, if we do care for each other that, somehow, that means we’re weak.

In reality, that couldn’t be further from the truth. No matter your politics, religion, social status or classification, I want good for you. And I know that you want good for me. A better you, and a better life for your family, makes us all better. A better me creates better outcomes for my family and, thus, the spokes of my family wheel touches those around them, creating a better world. And that is what life is all about – working together to create a better life.

The Challenge: Embracing Unity and Empathy for a Better Tomorrow

As I reflect on this, the Mayan greeting, ‘In Lak’ech’, comes to mind – I am you, and you are me.

No matter what we may be led to believe by the media, politicians, and the likes, I know this to be true. 

Don’t believe me? I have a challenge for you. 

Find time to visit with someone in your community from a different walk of life and commit to listening intently without jumping in with your two cents. Ask them about anything related to daily life and their hopes for the future of our country and world, and just listen. 

Then, try to get in touch with your elected politician to have that same conversation. Should you get through to actually have that conversation, I think you will be strikingly surprised by the difference in these conversations. *Regardless of political affiliation

My hypothesis: 

One conversation will be authentic, real and, most likely, strike an emotionally connective response. 

The other will be generic, simply-worded talking points that may, too, draw an emotional response. 

One of the emotional responses will be rooted in care and connectedness. The other will likely be rooted in othering and fear. 

Keep on keeping on. This thing called life is a team game. We will rise together or we will crumble under the weight of divisive rhetoric, which leads to othering, hate, and intolerance.

In Lak’ech, my friends. In Lak’ech.

I’ll leave you to your experiment and look forward to hearing how it turns out.

 

Weekly With Whitfield – Unscripted

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As the days of 2023 dwindle down, only 16 weeks remain in this calendar year. To those who have faithfully followed my weekly reflections, thank you for being a part of this introspective journey. For those joining for the first time, a warm welcome. Regardless of where you stand, know that your presence is valued, and I’m genuinely delighted that you’re here. My wish is that this year has unfolded just as you’d hoped it would.

The Weekly Reflection Challenge

Writing this weekly blog has brought with it a unique and beautiful challenge. I have always been a deeply reflective person. But I cannot think of a time in my life where I dedicated time at the end of each week to reflect on what that time had presented me. There have been many weeks where I’ve struggled to find a word that truly captured my thoughts and feelings. But, every time, God laid something on my heart to share.

This journey has been an unscripted one. But such is life. I have no earthly idea what I’m going to write about at the beginning of each week. I won’t lie, early on, I tried to force it. But it never fit. The things I felt I needed to talk about or wanted to talk about never seemed to be what I actually wrote about, in the end. And this has made the journey more genuine, authentic, and therapeutic for me.

Unscripted Lessons

Life’s unscripted moments often hold the most profound lessons. While plans have their place, they can sometimes pale in comparison to the grand design that the universe, or in my case, God, has in store for us. We may attempt to force our personal narratives into the script, but more often than not, they fail to fit. Life’s greatest surprises, blessings, and revelations emerge when we relinquish control and embrace the unscripted. 

Reflecting on these past weeks, I am reminded that the most impactful adventures often arise when we surrender the pen that drafts our life’s script. I’ve gazed up in awe at the grace, mercy, and provision that God has bestowed upon me.

An Unforeseen Journey

This past holiday weekend I had the opportunity to visit Seaside, Florida with my family and good friends. This trip was not something we planned, but a generous opportunity was extended by some good friends. Completely unforeseen, all of a sudden, we were loading up the Expedition, headed to the Florida panhandle. 

Though brief in duration, those three days were filled with unforgettable moments, too numerous to recount in this humble blog post. What we lacked in time, we made up for in moments.

Finding Joy Amidst the Challenges

The trip was an absolute blast, not because everything unfolded perfectly – quite the contrary. We encountered our fair share of unexpected challenges, from navigating a busted golf cart in the dark to a tangle with jellyfish, and even a near mishap with a stop sign. Yet, in these seemingly exasperating moments, we found joy in these “you’ve gotta be kidding me” moments that popped up. 

This trip served as a vivid reminder of the beauty inherent in an unscripted life. Had I known about the golf cart’s sudden breakdown on our way to dinner, I might have opted for the car and missed out on the deep belly laughs and crazy commentary that filled that peculiar ride. There’s so much more to share, but some experiences defy adequate description – you truly had to be there. What I can attest to is that, despite the chaos, it was so much fun!

Navigating the Unchartered Waters of Life

As I reflect on the past week and the broader journey of my life, I’m so grateful that I’ve not held the script in my own hands. Many of the trying moments, pains, and frustrations I’ve endured would likely have been edited out in a quest to construct a “perfect” life. In doing so, I might have overlooked the remarkable treasures hidden just beyond the curtain of despair.

I don’t possess all the answers, and I’m content with that uncertainty. My path is one of faith, a willingness to embrace challenges, and an unwavering commitment to celebrating the moments of joy that grace my journey. I will continue to navigate the uncharted territory of this unscripted life, knowing that it is in these unanticipated moments where the true essence of existence thrives. And I hope you will, too.

Weekly With Whitfield – Transition

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As we make our way from one space to the next over the course of our lives, there are always a transition periods. During those moments of transition, all too often, there’s a great swirl of emotions that churn within us. And the way we navigate those emotions is critical to the outcomes those transitional moments bring.

The Challenge of Change 

Change can be challenging. Learning new things presents new and unique opportunities. Getting to know the new faces takes a lot of energy and intentional focus. Transitioning from that which you were very familiar with to something new presents you with daily moments of learning, application, and reflection. 

And these are all wonderful things! I firmly believe that it is in these moments throughout the course of our lives that we grow the most. Comfort and familiarity seems all well and good. But it is during these transitional periods that we really find out what we’re made of.

Unexpected Transitions

Roughly two years ago I began a transition that I never anticipated. In a matter of days, my entire life was flipped upside down. All of a sudden, I was thrust into the national spotlight answering calls from The New York Times, NBC, The Washington Post, and the likes.

In an instant, I went from someone who was very “don’t make the 6 o’clock news” to “let’s use the news to highlight what’s happening here and bring awareness” – something I was unfamiliar with and, if I’m honest, rather uncomfortable with. But, seeing as though I grew up in an environment where I was forced to fight through various things that came my way, I knew only one course of action…TO FIGHT.

As I transitioned to a new world of media engagements and advocacy I felt discombobulated. This space looked and felt quite different than showing up at school each day surrounded by the staff and students I adored. I felt empty and alone. I felt disconnected and depressed. This transition was not something I’d planned for, nor desired, yet here I was.

Embrace the Unknown

Over time I would find my footing. What helped the most was looking into the eyes of the people who love me most, my family. Over time I would come to reframe the situation. This transition would not be something happening to me. Rather, I would turn this on its head and take what was meant for my detriment into something positive for my family and the greater global community. 

I put my head down and started on projects I’d once considered, but never did. One of those projects was writing a book and, boy, do I have a doozy in the works to shine a light on what so many educators across the country are facing. I won’t share too much now but I can’t wait until it’s time to send that out into the world. 

Family Support

Most importantly, though, I looked at this as an opportunity to be there for my family in a way that I’d never been able to over the course of my career. Those who know me, know – I only know one way to be a teacher/coach/administer – and that’s FULL FORCE! I give my all to every school I’ve had the pleasure of serving. And, while I have the most amazing and understanding family support system, I know that, oftentimes, they took what was left of me after many of those long, challenging days serving in public schools.

Personal Growth

Slowly, I got out of bed a bit quicker, I calmed my bitterness and frustration, and I leaned into being ON for my family. That’s not to say that disappointment, frustration, bitterness, and anger did not rear their ugly heads over time. They did. If I told you the amount of times I heard people say I’d never work in public education in the metroplex again. If I heard it once, I heard it a hundred times. And I’m talking from folks in pretty high-up places in various districts across the DFW. And every time it had nothing to do with who I was. No, that was intact, well known, and even desired by many of these people. Yet the lack of intestinal fortitude kept many from taking a leap of faith for fear of a small group of hateful, bigoted, intolerant people. It’s been both an eye-opening and disappointing realization that some who claim to be in this work for kids and educators are really more interested in political positioning and harmful games.

Overcoming Adversity

But I would not let this consume me. In reality, I dodged a bullet with those who were afraid of the “bogeyman backlash”, as I sure did not want to end up in a situation where I was serving for a leader who lacked courage, integrity, and conviction. So I embraced the transition and chose to make the most of the challenges presented to me. I poured into my family, advocacy work that took me to the halls of Congress, and partnering with educators, higher education institutions and other organizations across the country. When you’re from where I’m from you’ve learned to make magic out of mess. 

New Beginnings

A few weeks ago, I turned the page on that chapter of life – a chapter that has been more like an entire crazy book. And now I’ve transitioned to a new, beautiful chapter… back in a beautiful school, doing what I love. This transition comes with a new role, a role that entails leading a small, but mighty, district made up of roughly 400 students K-12. It’s such a special place – the acres of tall, big trees, the winding creek, and, most importantly, THE PEOPLE. Everyone has been so warm and welcoming. They’ve made this transition smoother than I ever could’ve imagined. I’m forever grateful that God made this possible. What some meant for harm, He turned to good. 

So as you make the twists and turns of the various transition points in life, give yourself the grace to feel, learn, and grow. As tough as the terrain may be at the moment, always know that you don’t have to walk that rocky road alone. Be still and reflect on ways to reframe and reload to propel yourself forward towards brighter days. I’m rooting for you in all your days ahead.

Weekly With Whitfield – Service

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As we journey through life, certain skills become ingrained in us, like riding a bike after years of not being on one. Chances are, you could go without riding a bike for years and still be able to jump right back on and go like yesterday. 

Ok, maybe you can’t do the rad tricks of yesteryear, but you can ride, nonetheless. Muscle memory kicks in and you’re off to let the steamy breeze of a Texas summer scald your face.

Y’all be careful out there, my fellow Texans

Service

I’ve had an absolute blast in my new role. If you’re an educator you know there’s no tired like “first full week of school” tired. But I am so encouraged, excited, and inspired by what I’ve experienced in my first 8 days of school. To those in education, the fatigue that accompanies the “first full week” is all too familiar. Yet, I find myself invigorated, motivated, and deeply moved as I head into the weekend. The spirit of service manifested in various ways, reminding me of the selflessness that thrives within our communities.

Students: Champions of Responsibility

The sight of students taking it upon themselves to wash windows, empty trash cans, and assist in unloading fans was heartwarming. Without prompting, these young people take extreme ownership of our school facilities and grounds. Their willingness to roll up their sleeves and contribute to the school environment exemplifies the responsible citizens they are becoming. I am telling you – there is something different in the water at this school.

Staff: Stepping Up Without Hesitation

Have you ever been in a place where everyone in your organization where there was no “that’s not my job” mentality? I’ve been in some pretty special places, but never have I experienced the level of “get it done, no matter what” as I have the past 8 days. Our staff proved their dedication beyond the call of duty, stepping in wherever and whenever their assistance was needed. Whether directing traffic during the car line chaos or providing support in unforeseen circumstances, their commitment to ensuring a smooth school operation was unwavering.. I am truly honored to serve with such amazing individuals who are committed to creating a dynamic learning environment for young people.

Families: Answering the Call

Our school community isn’t just confined to the four walls of the institution; it extends to the families who support us. It’s inspiring to witness parents and guardians respond with unwavering support and supplies in hand whenever the need arises. This afternoon a parent handed out huge Smart Waters to staff members who were out in the heat ensuring each student made it to their ride safely. And this was not an isolated event. Time after time I witnessed kind, thoughtful acts by our families throughout the week. They truly are our partners in fostering a nurturing learning environment.

Support: Extending a Helping Hand

With the start of the school year, I sent out our teachers Amazon Wish Lists to as few people, igniting a response from those eager to support. Last year I did something similar on Twitter for educators across the country and it spread like wildfire, securing tens of thousands of dollars for supplies for teacher’s classrooms. 

It is so amazing to be able to do this for my new school family this year. If you would like to support an educator at my school, please click on this link, locate a wishlist and item and send their way. Our staff, students, and families are eternally grateful. Thank you, in advance, for your willingness to serve in such a way.

As I reflect on these instances of service, I can’t help but feel immense pride in the community I am part of. Service isn’t just a transaction; it’s a mindset, a way of life that keeps us connected and thriving. So, as we all navigate the challenges and triumphs of another school year, let us carry this spirit of service forward. Let us honor the dedication of students, staff, families, and supporters by continuing to uplift one another. Thank you for the role you play in serving your community.

Weekly With Whitfield – I’m Back

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On March 18th, 1995, a 16 year-old basketball junkie, would hear two words that sent him through the roof with excitement.

On October 6th, 1993, his favorite player walked away from the game of basketball in the prime of his career. Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player to ever grace the hardwood – I said it – announced his retirement from the NBA.

That kid was me. My mother and I had just watched his Chicago Bulls secure a three-peat just months earlier and all was well in the world. And I was completely devastated. But while my childhood hero was no longer in the game, my love for the game continued to grow. I was determined, like so many kids of that day, to be “Like Mike” (sorry, not sorry, for that jingle ringing in your head the rest of the day).

Wanna Be a Baller

Over the span of those two years I watched my game grow in ways I’d never imagined. I was putting in work. Everywhere I went, I had a basketball in my hand. If there was a good run going on somewhere, I was there.

I wore out the VHS tapes – Come Fly With Me, Michael Jordan’s Playground, Air Time, Above & Beyond! I’d watch a little bit, press pause, go out in the yard and try to emulate those moves, then come back in and watch some more; then do it all again…for hours.

When I wasn’t watching those tapes I was doing various leaping exercises. I was a small, scrawny runt, but I wanted to fly. I wanted to know the air up there. One of the things I did was alternating one legged jumps, working on my form, scraping my hand against the roof shingles. I was gauging how high based on where the scrape was. I had to get about half way up my arm before I could even consider attempting to dunk a basketball. 

I’d also wear ankle weights everywhere I walked. I remember when I’d take them off to hoop I felt like I was free. I was flying. And, while I was just a mighty 5’7”, pretty quickly those scrapes began to get higher and higher on my arm. And I did a horrible job of hiding them. So much so that one of my school counselors called me in for a well-check to make sure I was ok. When I explained to her how I’d come by those scapes she was a bit perplexed. I just smiled and said “come watch me play basketball. I’ll show you what I’ve been up to.”

It was over the course of this time that a spark was lit inside my soul. I know that, for some, this may sound silly. How on earth does a game have such an impact on one’s life? Well, for me it was much more than a game – it was a way out. And with each passing day I poured everything I had into being the best basketball player I could be.

I was still an average student in the classroom. But I was never one to speak up in class. If I could sit in your class and just get by without saying a word, I was good. My teachers and many of my peers I went to high school with didn’t hear me say too much. I was fairly quiet and a bit shy.

But when I stepped foot on that court it all changed. In an instant I transformed into something different. I like to call it passion. But I will be totally honest, that “passion” got me in plenty of trouble, as I was competitive as hell. I was driven to win and had a desire to completely destroy the person in front of me. By no means did I get the better of everyone that I faced. While I definitely tried, me getting the better of someone is not what I’m getting at here. 

The transformation that took place on that court came from an extreme confidence. Over the course of a couple years I’d gone from a relatively non-athletic, scrawny kid, to a dude that was dunking on guys that were over a foot taller than me. And that confidence and ability to do some pretty athletic things came from hard work, dedication, a desire to change my circumstances, and the devastation that came with Michael Jordan being away from the game.

While he may have stepped away, he never really did in my world, as I had him on repeat every single day. But then, on that day in March of 1995, something hit me differently when I heard wind of those two magical words “I’m Back” – the fax heard round the world. 

Transformation

Over the course of two years my whole world changed. In the midst of the chaos that surrounded me, I found a way to focus on where I wanted to be. I set goals. I was disciplined in my approach – no days off. And I was determined to use that round, orange ball to find a way out.

I never made the NBA, as I dreamed. But I did go on to fulfill a goal of playing collegiate basketball – something I always promised my mother I would do. 

But, as I reflect on those times – all the sweat, pain, soreness, mental and physical exhaustion, fighting poverty…you name it – I see how God was using basketball as a conduit to prepare me for the uncertain seasons of life. It’s why basketball has always been more than a game to me. God used a game to prepare me for the many “I’m Back” moments that would undoubtedly unfold on the other side of the mountain.

I’m Back

It has been a long road over the course of the last two years. I’ve been attacked by folks with nefarious agendas. We’ve received hate mail and death threats. I’ve been told by many folks who I’d held in high esteem that I’d never work in public education again in this area due to the media firestorm that accompanied my trials. Believe me, the book is coming. It has been one heck of a ride.

But I’ve also received support and encouragement from so many, near and far. I’ve connected with wonderful educators and advocates across the country along this journey. I’ve partnered with national organizations who are committed to supporting educators in their work. I’ve had the opportunity to testify before the House Subcommittee on Civil Rights and Civil Liberties with regard to classroom censorship. I’ve spoken to thousands of people in various keynotes, workshops, and panels. I’ve worked with preservice teachers to help prepare them for the climate they’re jumping into.

I reached back to the lessons learned by that young boy. I didn’t wallow in pity of devastation. While I was hurting and definitely had my share of challenging days, the strength of my faith refused to allow the obstacles to block my purpose. I got straight to work. I honed my craft, stayed true to my beliefs, and since Wednesday of this week…I’M BACK!!!