Dr. James Whitfield

adversity

Resonance

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The Christmas season always brings forth feelings of deep nostalgia for me. It’s amazing how deeply my early Christmas seasons have left such a profound imprint on my life. 

This time of year was always so very complex in my youth. On one hand, we struggled mightily. And on the other, there was a deep sense of peace and joy. I think of my dear mother most every day of my life, but it always hits differently around the holidays.

A Festive Determination

My mother would pick up extra shifts and work tirelessly to try to make the season more festive in our home. But, most importantly, I was always very aware of the true reason for the season, celebrating the birth of Jesus, who came into this world to live, inspire, bring hope and, ultimately, face persecution so that we shall have a chance at eternity. She made that crystal clear. 

Sing Me a Sweet Melody

Joy filled our little frame house. I’d sit by my mothers side each night on her piano bench. Beautiful melodies reverberated through her fingers, to the piano keys, and into the air, accompanied by her majestic voice. I’d sing my little heart out. In these days of limited technology, we’d record cassette tapes of us singing Christmas carols and hymns to send to my grandparents who we rarely got to see for Christmas, as they were hundreds of miles away. 

The rhythm of this time of year never got old. Ever. I can see it as clear today as then. I can feel it. Perhaps it is these joyous feelings and memories that help to fill the gap of her loss. Her song continues in my soul.

Set Your Pride Aside 

We never had much, by way of earthly possessions. And I was well aware that Santa wouldn’t have enough bandwidth to bring me the things he brought some of the other kids. But I was always grateful for what did show up. I knew that Santa had done all he could and that was fine with me. 

My mother was a very strong-willed person. One of the strongest people I’ve ever known. Despite her resilience, she held her pride in check — never letting it  keep her from accepting help when our family needed it most. This taught me an invaluable lesson: true strength doesn’t lie in having the “I got this” mindset, but in the courage to acknowledge when support is really needed, humbly asking, and graciously accepting.

Always Lend a Helping Hand

Invariably there would come a time where my mom would find someone else who seemed to be in a more precarious position than we were. As a kid I didn’t get it and, like many young kids, I was worried solely about what I needed or wanted, not necessarily the needs of others. It’s not that I didn’t care. I was actually quite a caring young boy. But in the midst of all we faced it was very hard to see beyond. My mother always made sure I did.

She taught me that even when you don’t have much for yourself, much less to offer others, there’s always a way to extend a helping hand. Her heart was rooted in the belief that, regardless of our circumstances, there was always an opportunity to help others. She reminded me, often, that there is always someone else who always has less, and by sharing what we can, we contribute to brightening their day, much like so many had brightened ours. Through her example, I learned that the true essence of giving lies not in the magnitude of the offering, but in the intention and love behind it. And as we open our hearts to be mindful of others we create ripples that go far beyond anything we could ever imagine.

Joyful, Joyful Amidst Struggle

My mother always showed me how to find joy amid the struggles of life. In times of adversity, she emphasized the importance of having a spirit of gratitude, reminding me that even in the storms, there is always something to be thankful for. She firmly believed that challenges presented opportunities for personal growth and the discovery of one’s true strength. I can’t tell you the number of times I looked at her and thought “how do you always find a silver lining?” But that’s just what she did, always moving forward with a deep appreciation for the lessons embedded in the chaos. Her lessons and spirit have been a guiding force in my life, leading me to face challenges with resilience and gratitude, echoing her profound wisdom – to find joy even in the midst of trials, growing stronger through them, and to be grateful for the enduring lessons brought forth by them.

My Wish For You

For those who may be experiencing yet another holiday without a dear loved one – or perhaps this is your first season – I extend my love and prayers to you. These moments are, indeed, trying. It is my deepest hope and prayer that, as you navigate the feelings of pain, grief, and loss, you can find your way back to joy. That you can reach back to those beautiful memories and lessons learned. That you find peace in the midst of it all. 

You deserve it. And I know, without question, those who have gone before you are smiling down right now, nodding in agreement. Sending peace, comfort, love, light, and strength your way in this season and all the days of your life. 

Adaptability

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The water rushes in, pushing up through the asphalt and out onto the front lawn of one of our buildings.

Our nearby creek rapidly fills as the water crashes over the banks, onto the stone wall below, and into the once calm flowing waters. The water climbs at an alarming rate, and I fear the worst – our building is going to flood. And the road that is impacted is a main thoroughfare between the two sides of our expansive campus.

Standing on the road above the rushing water, I connect with emergency services, who quickly dispatch a police officer to close off the road. A water main had burst and, within the hour, city services were out to attempt to slow the flow of water.

A Test of Flexibility

It’s just before dismissal, and nothing about normal operating procedures will be in play. In a moment’s notice, everything has flipped upside down, and we have to just figure it out.

I’ll spare you the logistical gymnastics that our staff, students, and families had to navigate from last Friday evening until Wednesday afternoon of this past week; but anyone who has ever been through, or worked, a car rider line at a school knows how critical routines and procedures are to this process. This promised to be a test of our flexibility. And we passed that test with flying colors, as a community.

Our Response Matters

This event is symbolic of so many of life’s chaotic moments. Throughout our life, we are faced with various challenges. Some greater than others, but challenges, nonetheless. And what I’ve found to be true through these moments is that it is our response that makes all the difference in the world. Challenges don’t care about our schedules or plans; they arrive unannounced, demanding our full attention. Yet, it’s not the challenge itself that defines us; it’s our response.

When these events arise, we’re on stage. People may be looking to us to gauge how they should feel or respond. I know that may sound strange, but it’s true. Think of it this way:

A toddler falls and scrapes their knee on the playground. Immediately, they look to their parent or caregiver and begin to gauge “ok, how bad is this?” If the parent/caregiver jumps up and screams bloody murder, the kid begins to scream. If the parent/caregiver remains cool, calm, and collected, chances are, the child mimicked that very behavior. They’re watching to see how we respond.

Leadership in Crisis

It’s much the same in society. When these events play out, people are watching to see how we respond. Are we losing our ever-loving mind, wandering aimlessly? Or are we cool, calm, and collected, managing the crisis? These moments stand as a test of leadership. The response to chaos and/or conflict sends a resounding message to those who look to us for guidance.

And, many times, that is within our own homes. Kids mimicking our behavior. They hang on to every word. Even though it doesn’t seem like it most of the time, they are listening and watching how we respond. In doing so, they are capturing deep, impactful lessons on how to deal with chaos, disagreement, and conflict. And They will carry these lessons forward as they navigate the days ahead.

So, as we’re met with these moments, we must capitalize on the teachable moments they bring both in our homes and in society as a whole.

There’s Power in the Pause 

Take time to pause when met with the moment. So often we’re quick to rush into panic mode, and rarely does that serve us well. Instead, give yourself a moment to take a deep breath, collect yourself, and reflect. You’ll find a deeper sense of clarity as to how to proceed.

Communication is Key

The way you communicate in these moments is key. Clear, calm, and consistent communication helps create a sense of serenity. Even if you don’t have all the answers, communicate that. People will appreciate the vulnerability you’ve shown by addressing the fact that you don’t have it all figured out. The worst thing you can do is pretend you do, or share information too early that may be counter to the realities that may lie ahead. Share what you know. Acknowledge what you don’t know. And assure them that, as soon as you do know, you’ll let them know. Then communicate when you do. Most every time I’ve seen things go off the rails, whether in moments of chaos or not, it comes down to communication gaps. Never underestimate the powerful role communication plays. Additionally, remember that communication is not only about what we say; it’s our body language and tone, as well. 

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

In these moments, it’s critical to rally the troops. You cannot get through these times of chaos alone. It takes a concerted team effort to successfully navigate these times. Lean on your people. Collaborate with them to find viable solutions. Empower them to lead in their respective spaces. And trust them to perform. Collaboration is key to successfully navigating the turbulence. Your team will come out stronger on the other side.

Smile

Don’t be afraid to smile. Sure, this may be a crazy challenge before you, but your ability to smile through it will reverberate through the community you serve. Remember, communication has a great deal to do with body language and a smile…well…it’s really hard to not smile back at someone who is smiling at you. So, while the winds may have shifted, and this moment may be tough, our ability to smile through it helps strengthen our resolve.

Reflection

The challenges that crop up along our journey can be unrelenting and paralyzing at times. While this is, in no way, an exhaustive list of the skills and mindset required to navigate these scenarios effectively, they have been elements that have helped me on my journey. And it is my hope that possibly, in some small way, they may help you. As we round out the week I’d like to challenge you to reflect on the latest “water main break” in your life. Ask yourself:

What did the people who count on me see from me through that challenge?

How did I communicate?

What did I do well?

What could I have done better?

Reflection is key to growth. And if we’re honest with ourselves in answering those questions, growth will come.

I am so grateful you’ve joined me on this journey throughout 2023. Thanks for being here.

Evolve

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Commitment coupled with feedback and accountability is a very powerful mechanism for growth. From the beginning of 2023, I’ve committed to writing this reflective blog. In such, I’ve tried to capture everything from feelings, life events, and various happenings across society. Truth be told, I was hesitant to make this commitment public, as I had deep concerns as to how much time I would have to devote to such an endeavor. 

But here we are. And you, the reader, have stood in the gap on so many occasions over the course of this year. Family, friends, and complete strangers, have been a strong source of encouragement and accountability throughout this journey. 

Accountability Can Actually Be a Good Thing

I’m in public education in Texas, so I know the word “accountability” tends to leave a bad taste in folk’s mouths. Over time, it has seemingly been used as a gotcha-type weapon. We won’t delve into the convoluted mess that is the testing and accountability system in Texas. Trust me, it would only make your head hurt. Conversely,  the accountability that you, the reader, have offered to me is something quite different.

Along this journey through life, our receptiveness to feedback, level of commitment to that which we hold dear, and willingness to embrace accountability is key to our growth. And, sometimes, we get in our own way when it comes to these different qualities. I know that’s been the case for me, especially in my younger days.

Guidance Beyond The Court

In my first year of high school, I had a very small, tight knit group of friends that I associated with. As the years passed on and I began to take on more of a leadership role within the basketball program at Midland High School, my circle expanded. This was not always for the better.

My basketball coach, Jack Stephenson, played such a huge role in my life as a young man. He was relational, receptive, and had his hand on the pulse of anything and everything that was going on with his players. He cared at a deep level. And as my circle grew, the conversations became more frequent. 

“James, you have to decide what you want to do and who you want to be. You’re as talented as they come, but you’ve gotta be careful about your circle – birds of a feather flock together”, he’d say on many occasions. Over time, I would find myself in the precarious situations that many young wayward teens often find themselves. And, as usual, Coach was spot-on. 

Among various family members and friends in the neighborhood there was plenty of opportunity to get caught up. He saw it and, without being preachy or judgmental, had deep guided conversations with me about my future. Coach Stephenson’s office door was always open to any and all who needed him. I remember more than one session in that office where he was trying to ensure I stayed on the right path. If I’m completely honest, on more than one occasion I left thinking “dude just doesn’t want me to have any fun.” But, over time, that time and wisdom he shared would show up in powerful ways.

He was offering feedback. Giving me a space to be, feel, and reflect. He knew my commitment to playing college basketball. He also knew that I was going to become a father in March of my senior year. And he was there to hold me accountable for that which I’d committed to.

Turn The Page

While I would go on to graduate and eventually fulfill that commitment, it was not without multiple failures. So many missed opportunities and hard lessons learned. Through it all, I could hear the countless conversations with Coach Stephenson ringing in my being. My grandmother, My Ma, was there to offer her love, unyielding support, encouragement, and willingness to hold me accountable to my commitments. My young son, Jordan, who was just a baby at the time, was there, looking back at me in a way that said “keep going, Pops”. 

Commitment, Accountability, and Feedback were determinant factors in my growth as a young man who had such high hopes, but such a chaotic scene to make sense of.

I truly do not know where I’d be today without these monumental figures in my life along the way. As I look back on the weekly words chosen over the course of this reflective blog journey it is clear that, much like my life, it has been filled with twists and turns, joys and pains, and unbelievable highs and devastating lows. But, yet, here I am. Writing these words. Living this life. Embracing every moment as it comes. And committed to continued growth and positive impact over the course of the time I have left here on this earth.

Gratitude and Growth 

As we head into the last several weeks of this journey I just want to thank you. Thanks for every comment, every share, every “like” and/or “love”. Thank you for all the emails where you shared your connection to the piece. Your feedback has been greatly appreciated and welcomed. And that feedback has been a strong, steady mechanism of accountability. Thank you for helping me grow. And, I hope that maybe even in some small way, I have been part of your growth, as well. Wishing you all the best this Christmas season as we round our 2023.

And to Coach Stephenson, I love you so much. I’m so grateful for your presence in my life. Merry Christmas, Coach!

 

Echoes

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The holiday season doesn’t always bring with it a picture-perfect scene fresh out of a hallmark movie. For many, this time of year ushers in a complex whirlwind of emotions, juxtaposed against the backdrop of joy and celebration. This week I had the opportunity to rest and celebrate Thanksgiving surrounded by my loving family. I am so very grateful for these moments and definitely count my blessings. 

In the Holiday Spirit – A Mother’s Legacy

But coupled with that joy is a sense of loss, as this time of year was my mother’s favorite time of year. Despite the chaos that surrounded our lives, I saw an extra pep in her step and joy in her spirit. As if she didn’t already work hard enough, she’d pick up extra shifts and engage with various community support organizations to ensure we didn’t go without. Superwoman didn’t have anything on my mother. 

From the time I was about 5 years old, I was done being an only child. I wanted a brother. I don’t know that I really had a preference on brother or sister as a child. Something just welled up in my heart to specifically ask for a brother. 

A Wish Granted

And it was on this day in 1988 that my wish came true. After eating a full Thanksgiving feast at my aunt Shorty’s house, my mom went into labor. Hours later, my baby brother, Michael, was born. I had just turned 10 that summer – I was definitely a BIG brother. 

In an instant, I saw a different spark in my mother’s eyes. After years of living in the grips of chaos, I saw a renewed sense of conviction towards a better life. As the years ticked on I would watch my mother go back to school and pursue her dream of becoming a teacher. She was done scratching and clawing – it was time to step into something greater.

Navigating Adversity and Loss

And then, as quickly as things began to look up, a door was slammed in our face. That door was my mother’s Leukemia diagnosis my sophomore year of high school. Almost 3 years later we’d celebrate our last Christmas together. From hopeful to hellish, in an instant. The holidays would never be the same.

In the often unpredictable cadence of life, we’re presented with seasons of adversity and uncertainty. We see loved ones caught up in battles that strain their spirit. Perhaps, as you read these words, you find your own reflection staring back at you, acknowledging that these struggles hit close to home – maybe even within your own story.

Embracing Support and Overcoming Isolation

The weight of these trials can bring a profound sense of isolation, emptiness, and loneliness. Negative self-talk becomes the unwelcome companion, spinning tales of unworthiness that isolate us further from the warmth of family and friends. Grief grabs our soul with a tight grasp. A shadow of loss, disillusionment, and despondency is cast over our lives.

I’m grateful for so many wonderful people who have provided a kind, thoughtful ear over the course of these moments throughout my life. Never minimizing my feelings. Always providing space to be, feel, and work through it all. The powerful and positive presence of my wife, children, friends, and various family members has helped me see beyond the pain, towards joy and purpose. 

Empathy in Action

For those who may be treading a path lined with adversity, remember, you’re not walking alone. There are empathetic souls willing to lend an ear, devoid of judgment, ready to support you through this tumultuous season.

And for those who observe these battles from the sidelines, I urge you to move beyond the mere acknowledgment of their struggle. 

Reach out and let them know you care. Sometimes, people aren’t necessarily seeking solutions to their plight; they simply crave a listener, someone who notices their struggles without the pressure to fix them. Our ability to give of our time to just be available is one of the greatest gifts we can present.

Consider the profound impact of reaching out to that one person who entered into your thoughts as you read these lines. 

How many lives could we positively influence with a simple act of compassion? 

How many souls could we uplift from the depths of despair?

A Call to Action: Be a Lighthouse

I don’t often leave you with action items to pursue in my reflections, but I have one today. Be a beacon of light for someone when you finish this piece. Extend your hand, lend your ear, and offer a space of refuge. 

In doing so, you may just become the guiding star for someone navigating the turbulent waters of life. And always remember, in this shared journey of humanity, someday, someone might become that guiding light for you. I firmly believe that our ability to love, offer empathy, and extend compassion is a reciprocal process. We giveth and we receive.

Wishing peace, love, comfort, and blessings to you all this holiday season and beyond.

Heroes

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As I walk out of the building, I hear cheers and see dozens of my students with signs of support. It’s the end of yet another long school board meeting where many of their classmates stood up and spoke on my behalf and for each other. It’s a dark, crisp night, it’s getting late and I know this will likely be the last time I get to address this group of students face-to-face. I step to the bullhorn and deliver a brief message of appreciation, love, pride, and support, then head home so we can put my 3rd grade son, Landon, to bed. 

The Kids Are Alright

Before I go further I must note something that many may not have realized about the students who were leading protests and speaking out. Many in the crowd that night have just finished their early action applications to Harvard, Brown, MIT, Stanford, University of Texas Honors Program, and Rice. Most, if not all, of them are taking a full load of AP classes as high school seniors. They are students who have never skipped school a day in their life but quickly informed their parents that they would be walking out of school in protest because they believed so strongly in their cause. After many of them spoke on this night, they were chastised by another speaker saying “they should not get to speak – they don’t pay taxes.” 

On this day two years ago, November 17, 2021, I saw a group of young people who, despite the opposition, found their voice. A group of students who had no time to engage in protests and the likes, made time. Their courage, leadership, and conviction landed them in the headlines of The Washington Post, refusing to be silenced. They represented what so many people feared – an engaged, educated young citizen capable of critical thinking and forming their own conclusions. These young people refused to drink from the fire hydrant of what may have been traditional “community” norms, but rather, questioned it.

Winds of Change

My time had run its course in the district, yet my youngest son was still enrolled there. He’d joined me in the district years prior and it was nice to have him so close to me. I could pop over for lunch when I had a few minutes. He could come over after school and shoot hoops with me before we went home. He loved his teachers, principal, and friends. And we enjoyed our rides to and from school together. 

But at this, things have changed. For the last several months I would drive Landon to school, past my former school, drop him off, then head home where a whirlwind of media were chomping at the bits for their pound of flesh. Thankfully, I’d found a dear friend and PR Strategist throughout this process who helped screen out some of the sharks. But after the meeting on November 17, 2021, it was clear that I had to make the tough decision to withdraw Landon from the district at the Thanksgiving break and enroll him in our home district on the other side. He was sad. His friends and teachers were sad and they made him cool going away presents. We were all sad. But this was just the way it had to be.

Navigating Transitions

As I walk up to enroll Landon for his first day at his new school I’m met with the emotion that most every parent has felt at some point –

Am I doing the right thing?

Surely I could just suck it up and just make the drive, push down the emotional trigger of passing my former place of employment, and make it happen, right?

But through the mixed emotions I enrolled Landon in his new school, which is within walking distance from our house. Over the course of the next several weeks we created a new routine – walk to school, then at the end of the day pick up by the big oak tree, then walk home. We found rhythm and consistency. And, as luck would have it, one of Landon’s former teachers was good friends with one of his new teachers and they were able to discuss his progress. 

Not only was he experiencing a transition academically, but he was watching the world around him unravel. He clung closer and closer to my side. While I tried to shield him from all that was going on and hide the pain, disappointment, and frustration in his presence, he knew something was off. He knows how much his dad loves being a school principal and now dad is no longer doing that. He is now accustomed to cameras and journalists following us to school or setting up in our home. And he is thriving in his new school setting. 

I marveled at his resilience and growth, his capacity to adapt to change and pour out love. On many days where I felt my light begin to dim, he shared some of his with me to brighten the way. And over the course of the rest of the 21-22 school year and 22-23 school year it was much the same. This dude served as such an inspiration to me.

A Whole New World

As August came around, I was nearing the end of my required time outside of public education. But I knew where I would be on the first day of school for the 23-24 school year. I’d obtained my superintendent certification years ago and never thought I’d be using it. But God always has a way of making a way towards those things you once thought unattainable. For this school year I’d begin on the first day of school at a K-12 public charter school as superintendent. 

Look at God.

But now I had a decision to make. With my older two children, Jordan and Lauren, I had the opportunity to serve in a school they attended. I got to coach Jordan as a basketball player (he loved it). When Lauren went into middle school, good ole dad was starting as a first year assistant principal (and you know she loved that). And now an opportunity has presented itself for me to be at school with Landon as a 5th grader, should we choose to transfer him to the school I’m at.

Decisions

For weeks prior we went back and forth. He’d been through so much change over the last few years. Relationships were formed with friends and teachers in his current school. And this was his year to be the big dawg on campus as 5th grade is the final year in that school. With us now being at different schools I definitely couldn’t drop him off in the mornings. Sparingly I’d be able to pick him up from school. I’d still probably get to join him for lunch as much as any other year. But things would be changing, for sure. So many considerations.

I drove to school alone on August 16, 2023. This was to be Landon’s first day of school, as well. His school day was set to start several minutes after mine and we would no longer ride together. With each mile I inched in traffic closer to school my emotions were everywhere, much like the cars that zoomed around each other. We’d been so torn on whether or not I should bring Landon to my school, which promised to be an amazing place, or leave him at his current school that was also amazing.

In an instant, I asked Siri to call my wife, who I knew would be up with Landon, preparing for his first day. As she picked up the phone I said, 

“Honey, don’t send him to school today. I’m gonna bring him with me. What do you think?”

Yes. I know. I went from making a firm decision to asking a question in the same breath. That speaks to where my mind was at. But I just knew in my heart that this was the right move.

She went over to Landon with the phone on speaker and said “Hey bud, what do you think about going to school with Dad this year? Dad wants you to go with him.”

All of a sudden, the phone momentarily went silent. I thought “oh crap. Did I just mess this up? The first day of school is already stressful and now I’ve gone and made it extra stressful.”

Before I got too far along the downward spiral of my thoughts I heard Kerrie’s voice exclaim, “Oh my gosh, he’s smiling so big. Yes. He’s shaking his head, yes.”

The decision was made. Landon would join me at school for 5th grade. Our rides to and from school together would continue. He’d be in a place where he gets to learn in a small setting and enjoy the outdoors afforded at our beautiful, expansive campus.

A Day to Trot

Over the last few months we’ve both gone through transition – him, as a new student in a new space; me, in a new role in a new place. And it has been one heck of a journey navigating the winds of change. 

Today was our annual Turkey Trot at our school. For the last several weeks, students were given the opportunity to sign up by grade level clusters to run in it. The winners of each race received a turkey to take home. Over the course of that time I’ve asked Landon every day if he wanted to run in the race. The dude is a strong, fast runner. But every day, the answer was, “no dad, I’m good.” 

This morning we began as we do most Fridays with our Donuts with Dad at our favorite donut shop. Then, we had a conversation about everything from the upcoming anniversary of the JFK assassination to the conflict in the middle east. As we got to school and entered my office Landon looked at me and said, “Dad, I think I want to do the Turkey Trot”, to which I responded, “then let’s do it!”. Quickly, we went over to the sign up sheet to add his name. 

After adding his name he said, “Dad, if I win the Turkey Trot, I want to give the turkey I win to someone who needs it.”

With my heart beaming with pride I said, “that sounds like a fantastic idea son. I’m sure there is someone who needs it.”

We had a great day today at our school. I was pied in the face by those who won the drawing from our canned food drive. Families feasted on wide food spreads, picnic style, with their children on the grounds. And the races were intense. 

As I watched Landon round the last turn towards the finish line with no one in front of him I couldn’t help but smile. After so much hesitation about even running, he’d not only run the race, but won first place, thus securing that turkey to give away. After a great big hug, he was off to take his picture with the first place sign and a huge turkey in his arms. I could see the happiness in his face – the pride in his stance. He’d won the turkey he set out to win to donate to someone in need.

I stood there watching this young man with so much pride in my heart. To think about where we were two years ago on this very day. So much uncertainty, pain, grief, disappointment, and fear. Then the transitions over the course of the time from then to now. And now, this moment. Only by the grace of God.

Our Young People, Our Heroes

So often, we reserve the title of “hero” for adults or celebrities, but I know better. Heroes are the young folks I’ve described above. Youth who sacrificed so much of their time and energy to stand up for not only me, but their community. They were harassed online and in person, but never buckled under the pressure. They shook up things and made folks aware of what was going on in their community. 

And my son, Landon. He is truly one of my heroes. He inspires me with his courage and resilience. The last couple years have been tough but he mets every challenge, head-on, and conquering them. I’m proud of his huge heart, empathy, and sense of compassion for others. His compassion knows no bounds, a beacon of light in a world that sometimes feels dim. I’m uplifted by his constant encouragement and love. 

Landon. My son. Our little champion. My heart. My hero.

Perserverance

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Throughout life, there are moments that, indeed, take us higher. One such moment – the Texas Rangers securing their first World Series Championship this week. A team that so many counted out, standing alone as the standard for baseball around the world. For the countless fans who have followed this team through thick and thin, drops and whiffs, and everything in-between, this achievement is more than just a sports victory; it’s a testament to the unwavering human spirit and the ties that bind generations. And with this, I can’t help but think about how proud my Ma would be.

Fond Memories with “Ma”

My Grandmother, Mintha Doris Sumner, affectionately known as “Ma”, was an avid sports enthusiast. I can vividly recall the countless hours we spent watching Mavs, Cowboys, and Rangers games together. She was a force to be reckoned with. You couldn’t tell her she was not the coach. She expected nothing less than excellence from the athletes on the screen. The only exception to her unwavering commitment was Dirk Nowitzki, who she adored. Rarely – even when that dude messed up – did she get upset with him. Oh, and Jose Canseco. She LOVED her some Jose Conseco – ball bouncing off his head and all. But I digress…

As I sat in the stands at Globe Life Field on Wednesday evening, I couldn’t help but think about all these moments with Ma. And as the fireworks shot off after the Sborz called 3rd strike, I had a bit of a mist in my eye. I was transported back to Ma’s living room where we watched so many games – all the ups and downs. I was transported to the various dollar hot-dog nights we went to at the old stadium. In the moment, I was reminded that this game was really about so much more. So many core memories. So many lessons that sports teach us.

A Legacy of Strength and Selflessness

When I think about Ma, I find solace in these vivid memories, knowing that her legacy lives on through our lives. It’s a testament to the beautiful story that the Lord painted with her life. A life that was anything but easy. 

Her life was not without challenges, and she faced them with unwavering strength. Losing Grandaddy, the love of her life, shortly after they were supposed to embark on a journey to enjoy the fruits of their hard work was a heart-wrenching blow. Yet, she continued to serve her beloved Itasca community, from volunteering at the church to delivering meals on wheels, always there for those in need.

A decade later, her life took another devastating and unexpected turn when she had to care for my mother, Beverly Jan Whitfield, who was fighting a cancer that proved to be incurable. Ma’s life shifted from the quiet streets of Itasca to the bustling metro of Downtown Houston to be by her daughter’s side every step of the way. Despite her own heartache, she provided love, care, and unwavering support to her daughter, who left this world far too soon.

And then with the loss of my mother, Ma took on the responsibility of guiding me, a 19-year-old on the brink of going off the rails, and raising my younger brother, Michael. All of this happened less than a decade after she and Grandaddy had planned to explore the country together and enjoy their hard-earned retirement. Her life had taken a dramatically different course.

Lessons from Life’s Challenges

Ma’s love was a selfless love, passionately committed to the well-being of others, born not of emotions but of choice. She never judged or condemned me, even when I faltered. Instead, she saw the best in me, believed in me, and offered a safe harbor in the tumultuous seas of the times. I often wonder how different my life would have been without Ma’s presence. That thought frightens me. Ma’s love, her pride in us, and her selfless spirit are the most significant gifts she left behind. They form a legacy that cannot be diminished or lost, ensuring that she continues to live on in our lives.

Celebration – Life and Sport

As I watched the Texas Rangers celebrate becoming World Series Champions, I could feel her presence. I could imagine her jubilation. Their ability to overcome, echoed the spirit of Ma. I’m reminded that that sorts often mimic life, and it’s more than just a game. It’s about enduring and triumphing through the challenges that come our way. Ma’s legacy taught me that, even in the face of adversity, we can lean into love – a love that believes in the best, endures through all trials, and asks for nothing in return.

Ma, we thank you for your humor, compassion, wisdom, patience, and, above all, your unwavering love. Your legacy is a testament to a life well-lived, and we can only imagine the celebration that’s taking place in Heaven. You are our joy, and we rejoice in honoring your memory. Your love continues to live on in each of us, and for that, we are forever grateful. 

Go Rangers!

Seniors

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A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of meeting with the senior class at my school. I took some time to sit down with each of them and get to know them better. I asked about their dreams, their family lives, and the things they were passionate about. This senior class is smaller than any I’ve ever served, but it allowed me to engage in some profound conversations with these students, serving as a powerful reminder of why I’m so passionate about my work.

Recommendations

Quite often, I’m asked to write college admissions recommendation letters for former students. Anytime I get a request like this I feel it to be a great honor, and work to oblige. I’ve gotten dozens of these over the years. That someone feels compelled to ask for my words as a recommendation is truly humbling.

But this year’s requests strike a bit of a different chord. These requests are coming from students who were caught up in the transition from middle to high school at the height of the pandemic. These are students who crossed the street with me from Heritage Middle School as 8th graders to Colleyville Heritage High School as Freshmen. This was the year I’d hand them their diploma in May. But due to unforeseen circumstances that none of us ever could have imagined, that is simply not a reality.

Experiences

Reflecting on the past two years, I find myself thinking about the journey that led me to be a panelist at the Education Law Association conference in Reno, Nevada this week. Our piece centered around the legacy of the landmark case, Brown v. Board of Education, and how it relates to the experiences of our students and families today. 

This weekend I attended a wedding that brought me to reconnect with students and families I’d served as CHHS when I was an assistant principal in the 2018-2019 school year. It was so great to reconnect with these young people and hear how their journey has played out. Each of them, college graduates well into the next phase of “adulting”. We reminisced on the journey from then to now, then celebrated the union of a beautiful couple.

Transition – From Middle School to High School During a Global Pandemic

Throughout my reflections, I can’t help but think of this year’s senior class at CHHS, especially those who joined me from Heritage Middle School. During the 2019-2020 school year, I was their middle school principal. Now, leading into the 2020-2021 school year, we’d make this journey together. Them, as high school freshmen. Myself, as a first-year high school principal. I’ve often pondered the challenges they faced during that transition, and just how amazing they truly are.

Before the world turned upside down in 2020, we had a blast at HMS. We organized various events, from ice cream socials to Veterans Day ceremonies. Our staff even did a surprise Thriller dance performance for our Halloween pep rally (with ya’ boy as MJ). But then, spring break arrived, and suddenly, we found ourselves in the midst of a global pandemic. It was a time of uncertainty and chaos, and we had to quickly adapt to make education accessible for students stuck at home.

For so many, school had served as a sanctuary, a place of security, and that was taken away overnight. Families and staff members faced hardships daily, from illness to job loss to the loss of family members. We had to reimagine education, distribute laptops, and reassure families that we were there for them. Amid the chaos, we even organized a drive-through eighth-grade sendoff, a small gesture to acknowledge the importance of this transition in their educational journey.

They’s Always Watching

This brings me to the present, as I think about the Class of 2024. They have endured not only the pandemic but also a tumultuous space in time, filled with a lot of vitriol and toxicity. I’ve always believed that our students are watching us, learning from our actions and attitudes. As an educator responsible for their well-being, I strive to be a positive presence in their life, daily. I hope to convey that they are seen, heard, loved, and valued each day. 

I am also keenly aware that they are watching our every move – seeing if we’re just saying they’re “seen, heard, loved, and valued” or if we really mean it. And my goal has always been to show them the latter. Flowery words on mission statements are one thing. The way we go about educating the hearts and minds of young people and creating spaces where students can truly be is another. Students know who’s real and who’s not.

To the Class of 2024

So, seeing as though I will not be able to hand them that diploma in May or deliver my heartfelt remarks, here goes: 

As you approach the end of your high school journey, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the incredible strength, resilience, and determination you’ve demonstrated throughout these challenging years. Your class has faced the unprecedented trials brought on by the pandemic, and you have emerged stronger and more prepared for the future as a result. 

The last few years have been far from easy. You’ve navigated uncertainty, adapted to new ways of learning, and faced many disappointments and missed opportunities. Yet, in the face of these challenges, you’ve shown remarkable courage and resilience. You’ve learned to embrace change, to find opportunities within adversity, and to support one another in times of need.

Despite the hardships, I want you to remember the moments of triumph. Remember the friendships you’ve forged, and the personal growth you’ve achieved. You’ve become a part of history, a generation that didn’t just survive a global crisis but thrived in the face of it. Your resilience and the lessons you’ve learned will be one of your greatest assets as you move forward.

That ability to adapt and preserve through the tough days of life will serve you well in the years to come. Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs, and the experiences you’ve had in high school have equipped you with the resilience and problem-solving skills to tackle whatever comes your way. 

When these difficult moments come, I encourage you to embrace them, as they can be the foundation of greatness. At the moment, it may seem to be a failure, or it may actually be a failure. That’s ok. Remember, failure is not the end but the beginning of something extraordinary. Those who have achieved greatness have often stumbled along their journey. I hope you always know that, even in chaos, there are lessons to be learned. It’s okay to fall down – just don’t stay there.

You have served as an inspiration for myself and so many others. It was you that were at the forefront of my mind when I testified before Congress. You were with me as I shared my story through various media outlets, shining a light on what all the chaos was truly about – ensuring you have access to a safe, nurturing learning environment that affords you an excellent, robust education that prepares you for the world you will step into. 

Quite often, people ask me how on earth I do what I do – working with young people each day. A common refrain is “kids these days” with a tone of hesitancy. I always respond by telling them that I know “kids these days.” They are not a generation disconnected from us. I sit with them, listen to their hearts, celebrate their achievements, and question them when they might be on the wrong path. 

Now, as you stand on the threshold of the next chapter in your lives, take with you the knowledge that you are capable of great things. Continue to dream big, set ambitious goals, and pursue your passions with unwavering dedication. The future is full of possibilities. And I have no doubt that you will embrace them with the same courage and determination that have brought you to this point.

Your journey through high school during the pandemic has not defined you. But it has certainly shaped you into a generation that understands the value of unity, adaptability, and perseverance. As you embark on new adventures, whether in college, the workforce, or elsewhere, carry the lessons and strength you’ve gained with you. Your future is bright, and I can’t wait to see the incredible contributions you’ll make to the world.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. You have a network of support, including friends, family, teachers, and mentors, who believe in your potential. Keep reaching for the stars, stay true to your dreams, and never stop believing in yourselves.

While I may not be physically present as you transition from high school to the next leg of your journey, I will always be one of your biggest cheerleaders. You’ve made a significant impact on my life, and I hope that I’ve made a positive difference in yours. 

Congratulations on your achievements, and best of luck in all your future endeavors. Your resilience is an inspiration, and I have no doubt that you will achieve great things.

With love, admiration and unwavering support,

Dr. Whitfield 

 

Gratitude

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I’ve thought a lot this week about how fortunate I am to be here. At this stage of life I find myself reflecting more and more on the graces I’ve been afforded, and just how much of a miracle it is that I’m even here to write these words. I’m filled with gratitude.

Upbringing

I grew up in Midland, Texas. No stranger to tumbleweeds, dust storms, and tornado warnings that never seemed to materialize. I was also no stranger to all the nefarious elements that come with being a pivotal point along a main thoroughfare for illicit drugs heading to the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. It was a wildly chaotic childhood and hard to imagine when, where, or how life could be better.

Movin’ on Up

When I was heading into middle school I learned my family was moving to another house, two streets over. The house we lived in was crumbling, we were behind on our rent, and it was just past time for us to leave. This place held pain, toxicity, and nightmares. My mother told me we were moving from this house at the “T” of Comanche and Eisenhower to “a house on the corner on Kiowa Drive.” I was excited to hear of this new place. 

Armed with this notice, I rode my bike over to Kiowa. I knew there weren’t many neighborhood kids over there – most all of us were strewn up and down Comanche – and I had to see what was going on over there. I remember seeing a house on the corner – an off white, brick house with a couple of nice trees in the front yard. “We hit the jackpot, I thought” If this house looks anything on the inside like it does on the outside, we’re movin’ on up! 

I quickly rode home, threw my bike down in the yard, and hurried inside to ask my mom “mom, you said ‘house on the’ corner, right?”

“Yes”, she plainly responded. 

I shouted “YES” and gave my mom a great big hug. She reciprocated but I could tell she was a bit thrown off by my excitement over this new place. Upon the move, I would understand why.

The Move

As we rounded the corner of Eisenhower onto Kiowa drive, I looked out in the distance to that house on the corner on the south side of the street. I was locked in. As we got closer I could feel it. I tried to envision the layout and how it would feel as I walked in. My imagination didn’t get to run wild for long, as the truck came to a stop on the north side of the street, just the other side of a large pasture. I looked out the window to the house we’d pulled up to. A salmon colored, frame house that looked to be on its last leg thinking “what’s this?”

The truck was thrust into park and everyone got out. I thought ‘ok, maybe we’re just parking here but we’re really taking stuff over there (to the white brick house). Nope, that would not be the case. This place, with a dirt front yard, seemingly one step from being condemned, would be the house we called home for the entirety of the rest of my life in Midland, TX.

A Heartbreaking Revelation

I’ll spare you the details of what that house held as surprises when we got inside. There’s far too much to describe here. I was devastated. For the better part of the last week, with pride, I’d shown my friends the house I thought I’d be moving to. It wasn’t so much a “brag” as it was “can you believe this?” type deal. I was excited to finally not be embarrassed to have friends over to my house. And they were so excited for me. And all of that was crushed as I entered my new house and saw what awaited. 

I found out later that we’d been evicted from the other house and this was the best we could find that would allow us to remain in the area, where I wouldn’t have to change schools. 

Two Houses, Two Worlds

I never stepped foot in the white brick house, but I can still envision the thoughts I had as we turned up that road towards it. As I look back on it, the house wasn’t anything super-special. But from my limited understanding of what could be, that place was a mansion. 

I have a blueprint of that old salmon colored house, with all the chaos it embodied, imprinted in my brain. That place represented so much of what I never wish for anyone to endure at any point in their life. 

I’ve never forgotten either of those houses. Those two places, a stones throw apart, represented an interesting dichotomy of life for me at an early age. It was so wild to have something I deeply desired squarely within view, but completely unable to attain. Within reach, but so far away. 

I knew how I didn’t want to live. And what I hoped for in the future, despite not having a clue as to how I’d make that dream a reality. 

Beyond the Brick and Mortar: A Journey of Hope, Guidance, and Gratitude

Yes, I’m in that brick home now. But it’s really about something much deeper than the material building that was so important to me as a child. It was the hope of something different, more hopeful and brighter, that the house symbolized for me. Along my journey, I’ve been blessed to have so many amazing people, guiding me towards a more hopeful, brighter place in life. 

From several coaches and teachers, to the random kindness of strangers, to colleagues, students, and families, to my loving family – I consider myself so fortunate. While the road has been marred with plenty of pain, chaos, and trauma, there’s also been moments of joy, clarity, and comfort. I think, to varying degrees, that’s the case for most of us. 

We’re all faced with disappointment, discontent, and hopelessness at some point along the plot line of our lives. And then, somewhere along the way, we’re given a glimpse of hope. A glimpse of what could be, and a sense of purpose, pushing us forward. 

I encourage you to continue to look for that hope and purpose in the midst of your trials. It may not be the brick house on the corner you thought was yours. You may be stuck in the chaos and pain of the moment. It seems unending and out of control. But never let your current circumstances limit your future possibilities. Trust that this season is preparing you for something greater than you ever imagined.