Dr. James Whitfield

Reflection

Weekly With Whitfield – Service

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As we journey through life, certain skills become ingrained in us, like riding a bike after years of not being on one. Chances are, you could go without riding a bike for years and still be able to jump right back on and go like yesterday. 

Ok, maybe you can’t do the rad tricks of yesteryear, but you can ride, nonetheless. Muscle memory kicks in and you’re off to let the steamy breeze of a Texas summer scald your face.

Y’all be careful out there, my fellow Texans

Service

I’ve had an absolute blast in my new role. If you’re an educator you know there’s no tired like “first full week of school” tired. But I am so encouraged, excited, and inspired by what I’ve experienced in my first 8 days of school. To those in education, the fatigue that accompanies the “first full week” is all too familiar. Yet, I find myself invigorated, motivated, and deeply moved as I head into the weekend. The spirit of service manifested in various ways, reminding me of the selflessness that thrives within our communities.

Students: Champions of Responsibility

The sight of students taking it upon themselves to wash windows, empty trash cans, and assist in unloading fans was heartwarming. Without prompting, these young people take extreme ownership of our school facilities and grounds. Their willingness to roll up their sleeves and contribute to the school environment exemplifies the responsible citizens they are becoming. I am telling you – there is something different in the water at this school.

Staff: Stepping Up Without Hesitation

Have you ever been in a place where everyone in your organization where there was no “that’s not my job” mentality? I’ve been in some pretty special places, but never have I experienced the level of “get it done, no matter what” as I have the past 8 days. Our staff proved their dedication beyond the call of duty, stepping in wherever and whenever their assistance was needed. Whether directing traffic during the car line chaos or providing support in unforeseen circumstances, their commitment to ensuring a smooth school operation was unwavering.. I am truly honored to serve with such amazing individuals who are committed to creating a dynamic learning environment for young people.

Families: Answering the Call

Our school community isn’t just confined to the four walls of the institution; it extends to the families who support us. It’s inspiring to witness parents and guardians respond with unwavering support and supplies in hand whenever the need arises. This afternoon a parent handed out huge Smart Waters to staff members who were out in the heat ensuring each student made it to their ride safely. And this was not an isolated event. Time after time I witnessed kind, thoughtful acts by our families throughout the week. They truly are our partners in fostering a nurturing learning environment.

Support: Extending a Helping Hand

With the start of the school year, I sent out our teachers Amazon Wish Lists to as few people, igniting a response from those eager to support. Last year I did something similar on Twitter for educators across the country and it spread like wildfire, securing tens of thousands of dollars for supplies for teacher’s classrooms. 

It is so amazing to be able to do this for my new school family this year. If you would like to support an educator at my school, please click on this link, locate a wishlist and item and send their way. Our staff, students, and families are eternally grateful. Thank you, in advance, for your willingness to serve in such a way.

As I reflect on these instances of service, I can’t help but feel immense pride in the community I am part of. Service isn’t just a transaction; it’s a mindset, a way of life that keeps us connected and thriving. So, as we all navigate the challenges and triumphs of another school year, let us carry this spirit of service forward. Let us honor the dedication of students, staff, families, and supporters by continuing to uplift one another. Thank you for the role you play in serving your community.

Weekly With Whitfield – I’m Back

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On March 18th, 1995, a 16 year-old basketball junkie, would hear two words that sent him through the roof with excitement.

On October 6th, 1993, his favorite player walked away from the game of basketball in the prime of his career. Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player to ever grace the hardwood – I said it – announced his retirement from the NBA.

That kid was me. My mother and I had just watched his Chicago Bulls secure a three-peat just months earlier and all was well in the world. And I was completely devastated. But while my childhood hero was no longer in the game, my love for the game continued to grow. I was determined, like so many kids of that day, to be “Like Mike” (sorry, not sorry, for that jingle ringing in your head the rest of the day).

Wanna Be a Baller

Over the span of those two years I watched my game grow in ways I’d never imagined. I was putting in work. Everywhere I went, I had a basketball in my hand. If there was a good run going on somewhere, I was there.

I wore out the VHS tapes – Come Fly With Me, Michael Jordan’s Playground, Air Time, Above & Beyond! I’d watch a little bit, press pause, go out in the yard and try to emulate those moves, then come back in and watch some more; then do it all again…for hours.

When I wasn’t watching those tapes I was doing various leaping exercises. I was a small, scrawny runt, but I wanted to fly. I wanted to know the air up there. One of the things I did was alternating one legged jumps, working on my form, scraping my hand against the roof shingles. I was gauging how high based on where the scrape was. I had to get about half way up my arm before I could even consider attempting to dunk a basketball. 

I’d also wear ankle weights everywhere I walked. I remember when I’d take them off to hoop I felt like I was free. I was flying. And, while I was just a mighty 5’7”, pretty quickly those scrapes began to get higher and higher on my arm. And I did a horrible job of hiding them. So much so that one of my school counselors called me in for a well-check to make sure I was ok. When I explained to her how I’d come by those scapes she was a bit perplexed. I just smiled and said “come watch me play basketball. I’ll show you what I’ve been up to.”

It was over the course of this time that a spark was lit inside my soul. I know that, for some, this may sound silly. How on earth does a game have such an impact on one’s life? Well, for me it was much more than a game – it was a way out. And with each passing day I poured everything I had into being the best basketball player I could be.

I was still an average student in the classroom. But I was never one to speak up in class. If I could sit in your class and just get by without saying a word, I was good. My teachers and many of my peers I went to high school with didn’t hear me say too much. I was fairly quiet and a bit shy.

But when I stepped foot on that court it all changed. In an instant I transformed into something different. I like to call it passion. But I will be totally honest, that “passion” got me in plenty of trouble, as I was competitive as hell. I was driven to win and had a desire to completely destroy the person in front of me. By no means did I get the better of everyone that I faced. While I definitely tried, me getting the better of someone is not what I’m getting at here. 

The transformation that took place on that court came from an extreme confidence. Over the course of a couple years I’d gone from a relatively non-athletic, scrawny kid, to a dude that was dunking on guys that were over a foot taller than me. And that confidence and ability to do some pretty athletic things came from hard work, dedication, a desire to change my circumstances, and the devastation that came with Michael Jordan being away from the game.

While he may have stepped away, he never really did in my world, as I had him on repeat every single day. But then, on that day in March of 1995, something hit me differently when I heard wind of those two magical words “I’m Back” – the fax heard round the world. 

Transformation

Over the course of two years my whole world changed. In the midst of the chaos that surrounded me, I found a way to focus on where I wanted to be. I set goals. I was disciplined in my approach – no days off. And I was determined to use that round, orange ball to find a way out.

I never made the NBA, as I dreamed. But I did go on to fulfill a goal of playing collegiate basketball – something I always promised my mother I would do. 

But, as I reflect on those times – all the sweat, pain, soreness, mental and physical exhaustion, fighting poverty…you name it – I see how God was using basketball as a conduit to prepare me for the uncertain seasons of life. It’s why basketball has always been more than a game to me. God used a game to prepare me for the many “I’m Back” moments that would undoubtedly unfold on the other side of the mountain.

I’m Back

It has been a long road over the course of the last two years. I’ve been attacked by folks with nefarious agendas. We’ve received hate mail and death threats. I’ve been told by many folks who I’d held in high esteem that I’d never work in public education again in this area due to the media firestorm that accompanied my trials. Believe me, the book is coming. It has been one heck of a ride.

But I’ve also received support and encouragement from so many, near and far. I’ve connected with wonderful educators and advocates across the country along this journey. I’ve partnered with national organizations who are committed to supporting educators in their work. I’ve had the opportunity to testify before the House Subcommittee on Civil Rights and Civil Liberties with regard to classroom censorship. I’ve spoken to thousands of people in various keynotes, workshops, and panels. I’ve worked with preservice teachers to help prepare them for the climate they’re jumping into.

I reached back to the lessons learned by that young boy. I didn’t wallow in pity of devastation. While I was hurting and definitely had my share of challenging days, the strength of my faith refused to allow the obstacles to block my purpose. I got straight to work. I honed my craft, stayed true to my beliefs, and since Wednesday of this week…I’M BACK!!!

Weekly With Whitfield – Conflicted

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This week has been filled with conflicting emotions. Generally, it’s been positive and productive. But I’d be lying if I told you positivity stayed throughout the week. Thankfully, joy has outweighed pain, but as I searched for what to write about today I’ve been very, very conflicted.

Family Pool Days

We had the chance to have a backyard full of friends and family this past Sunday afternoon. I spent the day sweltering over the grill in the 100 plus degree Texas heat. But, man, was it worth it. In the hustle and bustle of daily life it is hard to nail down the whole extended family but, on this day, we did. Through my sweat-stinging eyes, I looked around that backyard and just took it in. I didn’t even get any pictures, that’s how tuned in I was. Like so many things of beauty, the image captured in real life – in the moment – is so much more powerful than any picture. The pictures simply don’t do it justice. My heart was filled with so much pride, joy, and contentment. 

Processing Loss

We are still reeling over the loss of our dear friend, Kim. Over the course of the last two weeks we’ve cycled through the stages of grief many times. While our faith is very strong, our human nature still kicks in from time to time. We try to make sense of something so tragic – something we’ll never be able to do. Then, we have moments of remembrance and joy that seem to push back the pain. And, soon thereafter, moments of anger well up in our souls. To anyone out there experiencing such loss, I hope you know that whatever you’re feeling is completely normal. Don’t beat yourself up as you navigate the emotions that come with these tragedies that crop up in your life. Allow yourself to feel in order to heal.

Ahead to New Beginnings

I can see light at the end of the tunnel. While we’re still engaged in a form of litigation, one chapter of that sage comes to a close next Tuesday. While the last couple years have been some of the hardest in my life, I am still encouraged by the road ahead. I am so grateful for all the love, support, and encouragement that so many people extended our family throughout this time. I’ll never forget your kindness. My faith tells me that this road has prepared me for something far greater than I could ever imagine – such has been the case for my entire life. I’m excited to see what God’s hands will lay out for our family in the days to come. And I vow to give my very best to glorify His name through it all.

Wedding Bells

I get to officiate my first wedding this weekend in beautiful Cancun, Mexico.

That’s right, your boy is officially an ordained minister.

I’m so honored that my sister-in-law, my wife’s twin sister, Sandy, and her fiancé, Ricardo, have asked me to be part of their special day in such a way. My heart is so happy that they have found each other. 

Sandy is so much more than an “in-law” to me – she is the sister I never had and I love her dearly. To witness her pure joy and happiness means the world to me. As she will attest, I am very protective of her. She is a phenomenal human and deserves nothing but the very best in life. And, in Ricardo, I can see that she has found that. 

The same goes to Ricardo – he is such a wonderful human with a heart of gold, deserving of the very best in life. And, with Sandy, he’s found that. I’m so excited for them to begin this journey together. 

Rollercoaster of Life

Y’all, isn’t that real life? It’s never really in a straight line. Each day can carry its own unique opportunities and feelings. But I think it is key for us to remember to stand in each of those moments, granting us the space to simply be. So, while this week has been a bit more conflicting than normal…such is life. Understand that life brings with it conflicting emotions and contradictions, but you were made for these moments. We’re not guaranteed that this thing will be smooth and scripted. And, quite honestly, I’m glad…because that would be a pretty boring existence. Feel the pain, but don’t get stuck in it. Embrace the joy and don’t be afraid to share it with others. Love yourself and grant yourself the grace to be.

Weekly With Whitfield – Faith

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Life will always present challenges. Without fail, difficult days are sure to come as we navigate our lives. They come in many forms – from losing a job to facing a serious illness to coping with the death of a loved one, life can seem overwhelming at times. When faced with challenges, it’s easy to feel lost, alone, and afraid. This is where faith kicks in. But, let’s not pretend that faith is some magical potion. Sometimes, it’s hard to find.

Why Faith Escapes Us, At Times

While faith isn’t necessarily magical, it is a powerful thing. Standing in faith gives us hope, strength, and peace in the midst of our struggles. But, at times, faith can seem out of reach for many reasons:

  • Life can be hard. We can become overwhelmed by the moment and lose faith. We question why God would allow us to suffer in such a way. This allows our mind to play tricks on us, making us feel like we are all alone. Then, as we give in to isolation, faith diminishes and despair sets in.
  • We live in a world that is full of confusion and doubt. Whether it’s the news, social media, or even some of our own friends and family, we are often bombarded with messages of doubt. Over time, this toxicity and pessimism can make it hard to have faith in anything.
  • Many of us may have had bad experiences with religion. As I watch the Christian faith become more and more hijacked and weaponized, I’m reminded of so many friends who want nothing to do with religion. Many of them have been hurt by people who claim to be religious. It saddens me to see my faith used as a tool of exclusion, bigotry, and hate. 

A Disclaimer

I’ll start by saying this – I’m a Christian, and I find my strength in Jesus Christ and the promises made in the Bible. I understand that not everyone reading this may be Christian, and that’s ok. It still remains my hope that you are able to use these words, in some way, as you navigate your faith journey. 

Through The Fire

The Bible is full of examples of how faith brings forth the power to overcome. But one that always stands out to me is that of brother Job. He was a righteous man who devoted his life to the service of god. Job held great wealth and had a large family. But one day, his life got flipped upside down.

Satan proposed a challenge to God, saying that Job would only serve Him because he was living a good life. Surely, if Job saw days of strife he’d turn his back on God. But God knew better. So he accepted the challenge and allowed Satan to test Job’s faith by causing him to suffer.

Throughout his trials, our dear brother Job lost everything: his livestock, his servants, his children, and even his health. He was covered in boils and was so sick that he could barely move.

Seeing Job suffering, his friend’s came to visit him – something was terribly off. But instead of extending comfort and grace, many accused him of sinning. Surely Job must have done something wrong to deserve such pain and suffering.

This left Job angry and confused. He could not reconcile or understand why God was allowing such grim days. But through his anger, Job never gave up his faith in God.

Faith Carries

Job’s faith was tested to the limit, but it never broke. He knew that, ultimately, God was still in control, even though he couldn’t answer the question of “why?”. 

His extreme faith offered hope in the midst of despair. That faith gave him the fortitude to press on, even when things seemed at their worst. And, armed with that strong faith, Job had the peace of mind needed to know that everything was gonna be alright in the end. 

Ultimately, God restored Job’s fortunes. He gave him back everything he had lost…and more. And Job went on to live a long and prosperous life.

Job’s story is a reminder that faith can carry us through even the most difficult challenges. When we face suffering, it is easy to lose our way – but we must never forget to face those challenges with an unrelenting faith.

Reflections 

As I think back on life, I’m reminded of so many times where I definitely didn’t understand the struggle I was faced with. Throughout my journey, I faced numerous challenges, starting with trying to break free from an impoverished environment. Then, tragically, losing my mother to leukemia at the age of 19. And, if all those lumps were not enough, the path to enter the education profession was arduous, but I persevered. Then, as I rose in my career, I encountered opposition from individuals with questionable motives, putting my faith to the test repeatedly.

But, through it all, I found solace in the promise of God’s word and provision. While it may have been hard to see in some of those moments, I always knew there was something greater on the other side of the challenges I faced.

Saying Goodbye

This week we faced another great test of faith as we laid one of our dear friends to rest. When something as tragic as this happens we’re left with all sorts of questions and even feelings of anger. As we try to wrap our minds around the senselessness of it all it can become all-consuming. 

But, in the end, I choose to turn to faith. Knowing that our dear friend is at rest in the arms of our Heavenly Father and will see no more pain. I have faith that, one precious day, we will be united with her, and so many of our dear loved ones, when we’re called home. And I have faith that, while she may be gone from this earth, her legacy of protection and advocacy for others will live on in the lives of so many. Our faith has carried us through yet another dark and tragic moment in our lives, and will propel us forward in our unique purpose in the days ahead.

Keep The Faith

If you are facing a challenge in your life, I encourage you to put your faith in God. He is with you, and He will help you to overcome whatever you are facing. Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time in prayer. Refuse to give up. And, remember…this is a team game – you’re not in this alone. I’m rooting for you! Keep the FAITH!

Weekly With Whitfield – Champion

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This life we live is so complex. One day it’s a celebration of loved ones. The next, you’re getting a late night call that one of your best friend’s has been taken from this world in the most tragic of ways. Your life is, unexpectedly and completely, upended in that moment. In an instant, the weight of life seems unbearable. It’s just so damn heavy!

Such has been the case for us. My wife, Kerrie, lost her best friend, Kimberly Knapp, this Monday evening. The circumstances surrounding her death are not what I want to discuss here. All those things are in the hands of law enforcement for them to work through. And I would be remiss if I did not add a note about the service these first responders and law enforcement officials have provided our dear friend’s family. 

When something like this happens, they’re working ‘round the clock to do a thorough investigation. This means tremendous personal sacrifice and a huge level of work that largely goes on behind the scenes. We are so grateful for the many individuals around our nation who serve in this capacity – in this case, specifically, the Saginaw, TX police department. Thank you all.

I just want to pay tribute to a dear friend who has been by our side for two decades, and my wife’s for much longer.

First Impressions

I first met Kim a couple months after Kerrie and I began dating 20 years ago. At the time, I was working as a mover, traveling on an 18 wheeler across the country. And it was clear, even in those early days, that Kerrie was the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. Each night, as I lay in the bunk of the cab of the truck, I’d pick up my Nokia phone and call her. I couldn’t wait to hear how her day was.

On one particular evening it was clear she wasn’t feeling well. She wasn’t her usual, spirited, self and I was really worried about her. The next day I received a call from her best friend, Kim. She told me that she’d called off work for the day and she was heading over to Kerrie’s apartment to take her to the doctor. She was so worried about her friend, as Kerrie rarely got sick. At that time we were all just poor kids trying to make it. And taking off work meant losing a day’s wages…and that was HUGE.

As I got off the phone with Kim I remember thinking that I could count on one hand the people who would drop everything in an instant to be there for me. And I reflected on the character of those people. It may not seem like a big deal to most. But to me, it resonated deeply. I knew that Kim was that friend who would go above and beyond for her friends and loved ones. And, over time, that circle would expand so much farther than I could have envisioned way back then.

Going to the Chapel

On Christmas Day of 2003, I asked Kerrie to marry me. We quickly set a date of August 21, 2004 and got to planning. One of the first items we checked off of our list was bridesmaids and groomsmen. Kerrie quickly asked Kim to be by her side for our special day. Ecstatically, Kim accepted. 

Soon, it was time for our wedding shower. Our friends and family threw such a wonderful gathering for us.  As we neared the end of the shower Kim asked me to join her away from the party for a brief conversation. When we got to a quiet place to talk she began by expressing how thankful she was that Kerrie and I found each other. She talked about how happy it made her to see Kerrie find true love and happiness. Tears were shed. Hugs were exchanged.

And then Kim switched gears – real quick. She said “now that’s my girl. You better take care of her or you’re gonna have to deal with me!” It was one of those moments where we both sort of chuckled, but we also knew she meant business. Kim wasn’t playin’ around. She loved Kerrie so much, and her happiness meant the world to her. She wanted to be sure I knew that it was critical to protect that. Kim was the ultimate protector and advocate for her people.

Protector

Years later, Kim would find the love of her life, John, and they would marry. And on that special day, Kerrie was right by her side as a bridesmaid. Soon after her wedding, she would put aside her roles in the hospitality industry and pursue law school at Baylor University. Kim was determined to be a criminal defense lawyer. Over those years she was in law school, we rarely saw Kim. She was in those books. And that hard work and dedication paid off as she graduated and became a criminal defense lawyer in Fort Worth, TX. 

Kim would go on to be a Senior Partner of her own law firm, Knapp Begley Law, PLLC. Her specialty – protecting the rights of those who have been criminally charged, ensuring they have thorough and thoughtful counsel. Over the course of this time she also found her way to Texas Wesleyan University, as an adjunct professor. Kim won numerous awards throughout her illustrious career that was cut far too short. 

That she ended up in a profession that seeks to protect was no surprise to me. It’s who she was. I saw it, time after time, through the years. Kim was protective of those she knew and loved. And now she was extending that same protection and care to complete strangers – those who needed assistance navigating the complexities of the legal system in their time of need.

Spirit

If you ever got to hang out with Kim, you know how much fun she was. No matter the space, who was there, no matter what – she stood out. Every room she entered became brighter when she entered. 

This past Saturday we had the opportunity to hang out with Kim for, what would be, the last time any of us would see her alive. We had a huge pool party with friends and family to celebrate the upcoming wedding of my sister-in-law and her fiancé. 

As she jumped in the pool I heard a familiar refrain “James, I’ve gotta talk to you!’ Kim was definitely in the house. If I’ve heard that phrase once, I’ve heard it a thousand times. And you never know what the conversation may end up being. Sometimes it’s about work. Other times it’s about the state of the world and what we can all do to make it better. And other times it could be about life, in general. But it was always going to be a robust and engaging conversation.

Pain

We are absolutely heartbroken! I’ll miss hearing “James! I’ve gotta talk to you!”. I’ll miss those conversations. 

I will miss popping into my wife’s salon and seeing her sitting in the chair to get her “hair did”. 

I’ll miss her joy. 

I will miss the way she cared for her people. 

I’ll miss her can-do spirit and tenacity. 

I will miss the vacation shenanigans.

And I will definitely miss the fun that was to be had when we got the chance to hang out. 

I will miss her, dearly.

Hope Through Pain

Losing Kim in such a way quickly reminds of all the pain that exists in the world. So often, this world can seem like such a huge mess. It can be all-consuming. This loss cuts so very deep, leaving a void that is impossible to fill – a crushing weight on our hearts, minds, and souls. Questions of “why” and “how” are on repeat in our minds. 

But in the wake of this senseless tragedy we are also reminded of the goodness of the people around us. To watch Kim’s family be wrapped up in so much love and support has been quite inspiring. As the tributes and stories of Kim pour in I am reminded of the tremendous and powerful impact our dear friend had on the lives of so many. 

To experience the thoughtfulness of so many who have reached out to us with condolences and kind gestures is a great reminder of the good in the face of pain. The strength of human compassion never fails. To watch so many come together, united by empathy and a desire to alleviate the pain has been uplifting. This collective support serves as a lifeline, helping Kim’s friends and family navigate this difficult path of grief, reminding us that we’re not alone.

While the pain of losing Kim can never be fully erased, the hope arising from the compassion of others will slowly allow us all to take small steps forward. And, little by little, through the pain I will try to smile, as I know that is what she would want for us all. Her loss has been heavy on so many, but I am hopeful that she is wrapped in the arms of our Heavenly Father. And that, coupled with knowing the legacy she leaves, brings me a bit of solace as we look to the days ahead.

In Memory Of

Kim, we’ll miss you, dearly, my friend. While your loss is deeply tragic we will hold fast to the many joyous memories. Thank you for being a great friend to Kerrie and I – for loving us so. Thank you for being there for us and for the light you brought into so many lives. I have no doubt that each bit of light you shared with us all will continue to illuminate as we navigate the days of our lives. Thank you for being one of greatest Champions! Rest easy, dear friend. We love you!

 

Weekly With Whitfield – Journey

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This week, I celebrated my 45th trip around the sun. I can hardly wrap my mind around the fact that I am now 45 years old. My emotions are all over the place as I reflect on being here to see such a day.  As for most of us, life has been quite the adventurous ride, filled with trials and tribulations. And with each passing year I am filled with immense gratitude. As I reflect on the journey I can’t help but stand in complete awe of God’s grace, mercy, and steadfast love. As I looked around at the party that gathered at the restaurant I was consumed with feelings of warmth, gratitude, love, and joy. Good friends, my baby brother, my children, my beautiful bride – what more could a guy ask for? 

Thank you, Lord!

Out of the Darkness

As a young boy, I felt as though I’d never grow old. At least I couldn’t envision it. 

How the hell would I get there?

Time seemed to tick along, ever so slowly, as we navigated the challenges of daily life. 

I couldn’t see beyond the day. Try as I may, it was hard to envision brighter days. I was surrounded by chaos and often felt as though things may have been better for everyone if I’d never been born. 

As I lay in my bed each night I’d envision a world that didn’t include me. And, while I never contemplated taking my own life, the questioning of my existence, my purpose, persisted:

What is the meaning of this?

Why am I here?

Why so much pain, conflict, and struggle?

Those questions, and so many more, found their way into the recesses of my mind in the still of the night under the cover of darkness. Thankfully, along the way, God blessed me with so many people who saw me, believed in me, nurtured me, and loved me through the mess. As I celebrated my 45th birthday, surrounded by loved ones who’ve been part of this journey, I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of gratitude. Throughout my life, the people I’ve met, experiences I’ve lived, and the challenges I’ve overcome that helped that poor little boy from Midland, TX to resoundingly answer those questions of his existence. 

Embrace the Journey

Life’s journey is so very unpredictable. I have learned to embrace the beauty that lies in that. Each twist and turn presents a chance to learn and grow. And as I step into this next chapter, I carry with me the lessons learned, excited for the road ahead. 

On my birthday week, my wish for you is to embrace the journey, cherish every moment, and celebrate the beauty of this complex, yet beautiful, life. Don’t stop believin’!

 

Weekly With Whitfield – Devastated

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Most days I try to keep it moving in gratitude. I am so very grateful for the many blessings in my life – my wife, kids, friends, profession, health – amongst a host of other things. But living in gratitude does not make you immune to the ills of society. Our relationship between gratitude and the blows that life deals is, well…let’s just say it’s complicated.

Gratitude Amidst Devastation

So often, when things go awry in our society, someone comes along with the “it could be worse” line. And, while I believe this comes from a good place (most of the time), I can’t help but feel like it diminishes the very real tragedies and struggles folks are going through in real time. 

Yes, it could “always be worse”…but stating such isn’t a meaningful way of dealing with chaos. We can still practice gratitude while being in a state of disappointment, disgust, anger, and/or frustration. But we operate in such a “grind it out” and “push through” society that often urges people towards feeling as we want them to feel (good) rather than the way they may need to feel at the time.

So this week, while I am so grateful for my many blessings, it has also been devastating.

Devastated

Devastation sets in with each passing evening this week. I turn on the news to hear of the latest shooting here in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. 

Shooting. 

Another Shooting.

Another Shooting.

Weather.

Sports.

A horrid pattern that makes one question humanity. Senseless acts that change the trajectory of so many lives.

Paola Nunez Linares, a loving wife, daughter, and step-mom, was shot and killed – taken from her family, in an act of road rage – an innocent passenger.

Kyrie Barnes, a 7 year-old boy, was shot and killed – taken from his mother and family by “celebratory gunfire” while playing video games. 

So many lives upended as 11 people were shot while celebrating the 4th of July at ComoFest. Paul Willis (18), Cynthia Santos (22), and Gabriella Navarrete (18) were all victims of this senseless, vile act. 

Do Not Honk in Texas

I’ve told my wife a million times – I’m not honkin’ at anyone here in Texas. I’m moving over when folks are driving crazy. I’m not engaging with anyone on these streets because there are far too many people running around strapped – not only with firearms, but erratic emotions.

It’s really wild to think you can’t even use your horn here in Texas. We use the horn for a variety of reasons but, most importantly, safety. There was a day, honking your horn at someone could mean a variety of things. 

You could give them the two-honks, which is like “hello”. You could give them the brief honk, which is like “I see ya”, or you could give them the full-on, blaring “I need you to realize you’re about to hit me” honk, and all would be well with the world. At most, you’d be told you’re “numero uno”. But not today. You better not honk at someone out in these Texas streets. Chances are, that person is armed. And, as evidenced by recent incidents – they aren’t in an emotional space to handle it.

To Be Clear

Let me be clear – my intention is not to advocate for the confiscation of all firearms. I firmly believe in responsible gun ownership and respect the rights of individuals who adhere to proper protocols. However, we must reckon with the fact that none of the tragedies mentioned above align with the concept of responsible gun ownership. We find ourselves with a grave, devastating problem. And it concerns me that, with each passing day and news cycle, we seem to be growing increasingly desensitized to it all. 

As we witness these repeated acts of violence and tragedy, it becomes easy to slip into a state of indifference or numbness. This constant exposure to distressing news and images, slowly erodes our sensitivities and emotional response. And this creates a perilous detachment from the magnitude of the predicament we find ourselves in.

When we lose touch with the pain and suffering brought on by these events, we risk losing our sense of humanity. As our ability to empathize and take action diminishes, the cycle of violence continues to ravage our communities. All of this perpetuates a dangerous norm where we accept tragedy as an unavoidable part of our existence, rather than striving to prevent it or even attempt to make things better.

From Fixation to Transformation

Our fascination with firearms is terrifying. But, perhaps, what’s more deeply troubling is our unwillingness and/or inability to engage in meaningful dialogue, especially when the influence of social media algorithms pushes us further apart.

I implore you to open your hearts. May we care enough to strive for justice for these grieving families. Let’s care enough to foster safer communities. Communities where children can enjoy playing video games in their homes without the constant fear of losing their lives. Let’s care enough to take action instead of dismissing these tragedies as mere “misfortune” or claiming that “things could be worse.”

While it is true that circumstances could always be worse, it is essential to work towards the possibility of something better. What if we could foster a culture that values human life above all else, where empathy and understanding guide our interactions? What if we could bridge the gaps that divide us, engaging in meaningful conversations that promote unity and mutual respect? Somewhere, deep down, I believe we hold the power to see past that which divides us and into our commonalities. There is far more we have in common than what we’ve been led to believe for so long. 

Because, yes, while it could definitely “be worse” – my goodness…what if we could make it better?

***Prayers of peace, comfort, strength, and love for each of these families as they navigate the trying days ahead.***

 

Weekly With Whitfield – Humanity

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My wife and I finally got around to watching a show that had been on our list for a long while – Ted Lasso. I know. I know. We’re late to the game. We didn’t jump on the Lasso train early on but, my goodness, am I glad we finally did. Beyond its comedic brilliance, this show imparts valuable life lessons and offers so many powerful takeaways – far too many to list here – but mostly centered on human connection. Here are a few elements that stood out to me about the Lasso Way.

Optimism

Coach Lasso’s unwavering optimism in the face of adversity and conflict is inspiring. Despite relentless setbacks, he maintains a positive outlook. And this isn’t the toxic positivity of just pretending everything is ok or being naive. While optimistic, he often acknowledges the elephant in the room, head-on. Then he pushes forward. We can all take a page out of that playbook. Being optimistic does not necessarily mean that we walk around with rose-colored glasses all day. But it sure doesn’t help to throw them on every now and then and see things in a more positive light.

Empathy

Empathy lies at his core, taking the time to understand and deeply connect with others, showing genuine care and concern. As we embrace empathy it allows us to better understand and support those around us. Empathy derives from listening actively, putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes, and responding with kindness and understanding. When we recognize and validate people’s emotions, we create a safe space for open dialogue. We all need an empathetic ear at some point. Look for opportunities to practice this skill with those around you. In a society that can be so quick to cast shame and judgment, choose empathy.

Kindness

Dude’s a true leader – leading with kindness, mutual respect, and compassion. By treating everyone with dignity and respect (whether they have earned it or deserve it), he fosters a positive environment. Great leaders support and encourage others, they have a servant’s heart, and they are compassionate. Never underestimate the power of small acts of kindness. They can have a profound impact on the people around you. I encourage you to make a conscious effort to perform random acts of kindness each day – whether it be complimenting a stranger, a hand-written note, offering assistance to someone in need, or even a home-made box of biscuits.

Vulnerability 

Coach Lasso shows that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength. He openly shares his own struggles and emotions with those around him, creating a space for others to do the same. When we embrace vulnerability in our own lives by opening up about your fears, insecurities, and challenges, we unlock a code. And, equipped with this code, we are able to foster deeper connections, which allows others the opportunity to provide support and understanding. If you haven’t done so lately, initiate a meaningful conversation with a loved one, friend, or colleague. Refuse to be limited by fears and insecurities. Utilize your secret weapon or vulnerability and, in turn, encourage others to do the same.

Relationships. Relationships. Relationships

The ability to forge genuine human connections is evident throughout the show. Coach Lasso’s approach to building relationships is grounded in trust, empathy, and open communication. Whether it’s forming a bond with a troubled player or forging unlikely friendships, his actions speak to the profound impact of meaningful connections on our well-being and happiness. It encourages us to invest time and effort into cultivating relationships that enrich our lives. People know when you care. And they know when you don’t. The power of human connection can change lives.

Forgiveness over Resentment

Resentment seems to be our default setting in most cases. And that was evident in the lives of so many of the characters of this show. But resentment shackles us to past trauma. Forgiveness is key to our personal growth. Our willingness to forgive doesn’t mean that our pain is not valid. Rather, our ability to forgive acknowledges the reality that exists and our power to refuse to be held hostage by someone else’s demons. We all have someone in our life to forgive. I encourage you to find that someone and work towards that reality, whether you feel they deserve it or not. Refuse the limitations of resentment.

Believe

And there’s so much more…but I don’t want to spoil the show for any who may not have watched it yet. I often wondered what all the hype was about, but after watching it is clear as to why Ted Lasso captured the hearts of viewers worldwide. While funny and witty, it also evokes deep emotional connectivity and asks us to look deep into the best parts of our being. As the world can be a tricky and often messy place to navigate, I have no doubt that this show will provide the breath of fresh air needed, anytime. Keep on Believin’!

***And here’s a beautiful montage that doesn’t spoil too much 🙂